I'm thinking here about experiences that sound great when they're described and imagined, but turn out to be a crushing disappointment in reality. I've put this in the off-topic section as there may be worthy contenders that are non-sexual in nature.
My nomination: Sex in a jacuzzi. It sounds exotic, naughty and hot, but my wife and I just found it uncomfortable and ardour-dampening when we tried it. I scraped my elbows and bumped my knees repeatedly when attempting to gain leverage for our movements. The swirly jets of water failed to provide any useful stimulation to either of us, and penetration was awkward to achieve and maintain.
Our verdict: Sex in zero-gravity might well be easier than this.
Okay, so even in movies they admit to it being awkward, but in reality, it isn't the "Oh we're having so much fun trying to find the right position"---Cut to aftershot where they apparently succeeded in having a sexual extraviganza kind of awkward, including the obligitory print of evidence on a window. It's just dam Awkward.
Adventurous? Sure. Challenging? Ofcourse. Something to cross of the to do list? Certainly. Enjoyable? Meh.
Foggy windows are not a sign of passion, they are a sign of effort, and by god you'll never move faster when the judgment gleam of headlights spotlight you.
theyre fun and everything but not the amasing sexual enlightenment that most people describe them as. to me it's a bit like porn, sexy but in a sort of detached way
Car sex -- Agreed! Particularly if the car is small.
Kissing in the rain -- I've had a better experience with this. We were totally soaked, but it was in the summer, so the rain was warm.
Sex in the bath -- Agreed again! Although I'd like to try one of those luxury giant baths.
Sex on a beach -- Never tried it, but I can imagine the problems of sand getting just where you don't want it.
Strip clubs -- Agreed! I was taken to one by my work colleagues when I was in my early-twenties and a single virgin. I think they saw it as a sort of initiation for me (or, at least, that was their excuse). Now, I was somewhat turned-on by the toned and scantily-clad female forms on display, and I'll admit that I enjoyed it when my colleague paid for a table dancer to perform right in front of me, but I didn't get carried away because it remained obvious to me that the whole scene was artificial. I just ogled politely, so to speak. Some of my middle-aged work colleagues, on the other hand, almost literally had their tongues hanging out. We were nearly thrown out when they started to make improper suggestions and one of them tried to climb up onto the stage. I think I passed the initiation ceremony okay, but I'm probably the only one who hasn't deleted the experience from his memory.
Sex in the bath gets my vote. I have a 34" inside leg. Add to that another pair of 34" - 36" legs and there's no room for anything other than cramp.
Normally it's a fail....but there was one time when I was going through a particularly painful patch and sex had been impossible for a while - sex in the bath was a revelation (though it shouldn't have worked - it's not normally good for people who don't get very wet) it just clicked....then we moved over to a bed covered with towels, massage oils and candles for the big "finale"....the only time it's ever worked, but boy did it work!
SweetSubmission wrote:
There are certain ex partners that qualify for this category...
but my top contender has to be sex on a beach. SAND!!!!!! No no no no no.
SS xx
I don't like sandy beaches anyway (never have done since I was a kid) unless I'm fully clothed to prevent sand getting anywhere - I prefer those beaches that are just giant rock platforms, or decked - so this has never appealed to me and I never want to try it *shudders*.
I can't think of anything - I take the positive from every "adventure" and we can't have sex just anywhere because lube is essential so if we play in unusual places it tends to be touching and licking - much easier to enjoy even if something goes wrong!
Epstein's Axiom:
With extremely few exceptions, nothing is worth the trouble.
I have found this to be true of almost all acquisitions - especially those which command high prices based on the 'name'. So I'm a Casio not a Rolex customer.
Attempting to date after 40. It's like men lose all incentive to even try to start a new relationship once their libidos slow down.
Go for a younger model, RH. With the libido intact. External Media
External Media good advice its what I did and havent looked back, mind you I've been up since 5:20 and he is still in bed
think i might have worn him out
xGGx
Sounds lovely, but unfortunately younger men tend to be even less able to cope with my disabilities than those with a bit more experience and understanding. In theory there's someone out there who can manage, but the limitations of my stamina make it difficult to meet enough to find him.
Attempting to date after 40. It's like men lose all incentive to even try to start a new relationship once their libidos slow down.
Go for a younger model, RH. With the libido intact. External Media
External Media good advice its what I did and havent looked back, mind you I've been up since 5:20 and he is still in bed
think i might have worn him out
xGGx
Sounds lovely, but unfortunately younger men tend to be even less able to cope with my disabilities than those with a bit more experience and understanding. In theory there's someone out there who can manage, but the limitations of my stamina make it difficult to meet enough to find him.
Congrats on finding yours.
Rose we met on line as I was stuck at home with 2 young children and severe depression he accepts those things in the same way I accept that he is recovering from an accident that means he cant work at present and the fact that he has kinks which were new to me.
Dont give up there is someone out there wondering where you are
this is a defenite no no. Tried with my x A: we couldn't really fit in the bath together (and she was tiny) B: in the shower together, I got hard and was well up for it - she was more interested in washing her hair??????
