Idon't see why your'e bothered either side. What would you like to be No1 or No1001 on their list of partners ?I would allways answer you'll allway's be my no 1
MissTerryCleavage wrote:
Argh I hadn't thought of that perspective AA, so yes I agree it would be important to know about any past significant relationships or bad situations that may affect them mentally, if that's the right word?
This - it's not the number that matters but particular relationships might.
Adx
its not knowing your number X its just knowing how many people they have been with, which probabaly doent make sense but i know what i mean! :P
i also think its important to know that they have been having safe sex in past realtionships and even if they have been to still talk about both getting tested anyway.
diamonds wrote:
its not knowing your number X its just knowing how many people they have been with, which probabaly doent make sense but i know what i mean! :P
It doesn't make sense... External Media
it does to me, but dont know how to explaine it :-/
Dxx
If you can't be sure of your oh past then don't bother then ,move on, or just stay wondering what have they done before me.I think your'e all a bit paranoid you might catch something so rubber up place safe ...
lickmadick wrote:
If you can't be sure of your oh past then don't bother then ,move on, or just stay wondering what have they done before me.I think your'e all a bit paranoid you might catch something so rubber up place safe ...
how can you be sure of anyones past though when youve only been with them for a few months? i thought throught out your realtionship you get to know and learn new things about a person?
and condoms cant be relied on 100% so its good to know you both have a good clean bill of health.
lickmadick wrote:
If you can't be sure of your oh past then don't bother then ,move on, or just stay wondering what have they done before me.I think your'e all a bit paranoid you might catch something so rubber up place safe ...
You don't need to be sure of their past, only sure they're healthy and don't have STDs. That doesn't mean you have to leave them.
diamonds wrote:
lickmadick wrote:
If you can't be sure of your oh past then don't bother then ,move on, or just stay wondering what have they done before me.I think your'e all a bit paranoid you might catch something so rubber up place safe ...
how can you be sure of anyones past though when youve only been with them for a few months? i thought throught out your realtionship you get to know and learn new things about a person?
and condoms cant be relied on 100% so its good to know you both have a good clean bill of health.
But how can you be sure if someone is telling you the truth when they tell you their history?
Either way, you should always keep yourself safe until you know absolutely that they are 100% "clean"....tbh if WandA wasn't a virgin when we got together I think I'd be the type to go to the GUM clinic with a partner before having unprotected sex just to make sure they actually went through the door hehe!
Adx
Alicia D'amore wrote:
diamonds wrote:
lickmadick wrote:
If you can't be sure of your oh past then don't bother then ,move on, or just stay wondering what have they done before me.I think your'e all a bit paranoid you might catch something so rubber up place safe ...
how can you be sure of anyones past though when youve only been with them for a few months? i thought throught out your realtionship you get to know and learn new things about a person?
and condoms cant be relied on 100% so its good to know you both have a good clean bill of health.
But how can you be sure if someone is telling you the truth when they tell you their history?
Either way, you should always keep yourself safe until you know absolutely that they are 100% "clean"....tbh if WandA wasn't a virgin when we got together I think I'd be the type to go to the GUM clinic with a partner before having unprotected sex just to make sure they actually went through the door hehe!
Adx
but i think again you have to trust what there saying like you have to trust someone wouldnt cheat on you ect ect.
and im not saying in anyway that you shouldnt have safe sex with anyone and i personaly belive when your in a realtionship you should both get tested anyway even if your still going to be using condoms.
Dxx
and most defaintly both get tested and get the all clear before you stop using condoms.
diamonds wrote:
but i think again you have to trust what there saying like you have to trust someone wouldnt cheat on you ect ect.
and im not saying in anyway that you shouldnt have safe sex with anyone and i personaly belive when your in a realtionship you should both get tested anyway even if your still going to be using condoms.
Dxx
My point was that there's no need to know the history because if you trust them to tell you the truth then you probably trust them to tell you if there's anything important like unprotected sex in their history. And if you don't trust them, you make sure you're extra protected. So either way, the history doesn't make a difference.
Adx
Alicia D'amore wrote:
Either way, you should always keep yourself safe until you know absolutely that they are 100% "clean"....tbh if WandA wasn't a virgin when we got together I think I'd be the type to go to the GUM clinic with a partner before having unprotected sex just to make sure they actually went through the door hehe!
Adx
So you trust I was a virgin but wouldn't trust me if I wasn't to get a test? Strange.
WandA wrote:
Alicia D'amore wrote:
Either way, you should always keep yourself safe until you know absolutely that they are 100% "clean"....tbh if WandA wasn't a virgin when we got together I think I'd be the type to go to the GUM clinic with a partner before having unprotected sex just to make sure they actually went through the door hehe!
Adx
So you trust I was a virgin but wouldn't trust me if I wasn't to get a test? Strange.
Bad example, sorry, I didn't really mean you personally...I mean, like at the beginning of a relationship where you don't know your partner as well, but we were different because we knew each other really well by the time we got together so I guess I meant in a "traditional" relationship.
Adx
Alicia D'amore wrote:
diamonds wrote:
but i think again you have to trust what there saying like you have to trust someone wouldnt cheat on you ect ect.
and im not saying in anyway that you shouldnt have safe sex with anyone and i personaly belive when your in a realtionship you should both get tested anyway even if your still going to be using condoms.
Dxx
My point was that there's no need to know the history because if you trust them to tell you the truth then you probably trust them to tell you if there's anything important like unprotected sex in their history. And if you don't trust them, you make sure you're extra protected. So either way, the history doesn't make a difference.
Adx
this confuses me a bit,
asking someone how many partners someone has, is differant to asking if theyve had unproective sex.
someone could have only slept with one person before and not used a condom and another could have slept with 5 others and have used a condom every time.
there two differant convos to be having arent they?
for me i think asking how many partners your OH has had gives an indication as to the type of person they are for exaplme my ex was 20 and had slept with 7 people before me, for me i had only slept with one other person.
it also can show how exprinced your partner will be compaired to you.
But the only reason you would have a right to ask the number is if you were at risk of being infected. If your partner is trustworthy enough to tell you if he's clean or not then why would you need to ask the number?
Otherwise, why is it anyone elses business? The number doesn't directly affect the new relationship. The history maybe, talking about significant relationships that may have affected someone emotionally, but the actual number doesn't matter in the slightest.
Case in point - WandA has a friend who was a bit promiscious before he got with his current partner. He is one of the loveliest people, really nice bloke. He slept around safely and it was just for fun, he never hurt anyone and he never cheated on anyone. But if his partner was using his number to judge "what type of person" he was - she'd have got it wrong and may have left him because a number of shags isn't a true indicator of a person and it may just put unnecessary strain on a relationship at the beginning....over time, maybe it'd be more reasonable to ask the number for the sake of "we're spending the rest of our lives together" but maybe that should only become a right if you're actually going to spend your lives together.
I don't see what it has to do with a new partner unless the person has been affected emotionally by someone or been unsafe.
Adx
Alicia D'amore wrote:
Otherwise, why is it anyone elses business? The number doesn't directly affect the new relationship. The history maybe, talking about significant relationships that may have affected someone emotionally, but the actual number doesn't matter in the slightest.
I agree with this. I'm not sure what purpose it serves. Unless we go down thr route of someone thinking less of someone because they have had a lot of/not many previous partners, in which case what sort of person are you? Who would judge a partners worht based on the amount of previous partners? WHat matters is now. You can't change what your partner did before they met you and IMO, getting caught up in it just gives you heartache for no good reason. Either you accept the person that they are or you don't.
telemachus wrote:
Alicia D'amore wrote:
Otherwise, why is it anyone elses business? The number doesn't directly affect the new relationship. The history maybe, talking about significant relationships that may have affected someone emotionally, but the actual number doesn't matter in the slightest.
I agree with this. I'm not sure what purpose it serves. Unless we go down thr route of someone thinking less of someone because they have had a lot of/not many previous partners, in which case what sort of person are you? Who would judge a partners worht based on the amount of previous partners? WHat matters is now. You can't change what your partner did before they met you and IMO, getting caught up in it just gives you heartache for no good reason. Either you accept the person that they are or you don't.
Couldnt say it any better
i know alot of my partners history with his ex because i was extremely insecure as he had slept with someone else and i was a virgin, so throughout the 3 years i've learnt alot about his relationship with her etc, also through just generally having a moan or a bitch, (she was a psycho tried to get herself knocked up by him etc)
but obviously he knows nothing about my history as there isn't one. but he hates listening to me talk about my ex-boyfriends even in the sense of "oh look what **** said on facebook"
just not into it
i dont actually know intimate details about him and her btw i know what they did and didnt do etc
VW x
I know something of my ohs history.........however same as vampyrewillow said.....he doesnt want to know about my previous conquests.
We have been together over 10 years.......and we are still finding out new things about each other.....
I think you should respect your other halfs past as thats what has moudled them into the person thats with you today......................