Dominating the man - advice!

We have a pretty incredible sex life but my other half wants me to dominate him occasionally, I’d love to but just not sure how to as it doesn’t come naturally (it’s usually the other way around). Please can you give me some easy fool proof ways to Dominate him!? Dirtier the better!! I’ve read so much but nothing is popping out at me! Thanks in advance x

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@FoxyLea87

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Without knowing what you are into, that’s a really hard question. Domination can be combined with service, bondage, sadism, sensation, sex, and basically anything.

Do you want to use him as a foot stool? Make him clean the toilet? Command him to give you oral sex for hours? Tie him in and tease him? Spank him for being a naughty boy?

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Was thinking for sex, tying him up then not sure :joy: see! Literally no idea!

It might be a good idea to ask him for examples or talk through some specific fantasies. As @Calie says, domination can encompass so much - ideally you need to know what it is he is thinking of to make sure you will do something he likes!

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@I_ll_try_anything_once2 what does he mean by ‘dominate’? Everyday stuff or more BDSM?

I’m not into BDSM and all the kit which goes with it, but I do like to be in charge - we kind of take it in turns during a session.

You could just pin him down (e.g. hold his wrists above his head, but it may also be nice to feel his hands exploring your body) and go on top, orally or cowgirl. It’s always fun and it is taking charge rather than dominating. You just have to be confident. His turn to lie back and enjoy.

You and your partner may mean something more, in which case I’m sure others will come along soon with better advice.

Either way, talk to each other so that you both understand what you both want. Do you know what he means? Ask him, and decide if you are comfortable with his ideas. He needs to take your preferences into account too - if you’ve read so much and nothing pops out then you might be uncomfortable with the suggestions.

It is good to explore together, but don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do. No technique is ‘fool proof’ because people are different - you need to work out what works for you both.

Lovehoney sell a few books which can be a helpful guide, and you can read product reviews, but ultimately you need to find out, as a couple, what feels pleasurable for both of you.

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I’m not sure she ‘wants’ him to do anything.
It is his suggestion and she is left with no other clues.
He needs to be more specific, and then she can decide if it is something she is comfortable with.
If he is wanting her to just be more assertive, then that is different to ‘dominate’.
They need to chat to make sure they are on the same page, imo.

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Great idea @BigishBen
A blindfold on him so that you can take over @I_ll_try_anything_once2 could be a good starting point.

Will ask him again when not in the ‘moment’. I did mean whilst having sex though, not being assertive around the house as such. Have already tied him up, blind folded him and put my dirty knickers in his mouth once I’d finished with his face… just wanted more ideas for dominating whilst in the moment I think. I’ve read a lot of things online, but the reason they didn’t appeal was because I’d done it already or it seemed a bit ‘bland’. I have no problem trying anything. I feel like it’s a case of “you don’t know what you don’t know” - so was hoping for ideas more than anything else!!

Oh, well I think my ideas will be too tame.
Have you asked how else he would like you to be dominant, and weighed it up?

Your post after this suggests you have tried a lot more:

So, I’m confused about what you are asking about and what advice would be helpful.
The ‘search’ function on this site is good - lots of info.

Have fun and take care.

Oh definitely talk to him and get some ideas of what he means by domination… and work your way up to it.

Personally I like to use bondage along with sensory play, I gently stroke his erogenous zones and scratch him too… there are some delicious spots just below his tummy and above his public area that he totally melts if I touch. I like to tease him like crazy before giving him any pleasure at all. I sometimes use a crop on him, or I just sit on his face for a long time whilst teasing him and pinching his nipples and stuff. Sometimes I ** EDITED BY MOD ** when I’m fucking him, that always goes down well.

Everyone has individual tastes as well as fantasies so defo find out his, enjoy exploring (you’ll probably find you love the power!) and be safe

It sounds like you’ve got the basics and just looking for a few more ideas that you can pull on if you think it fits. I think communication/language is probably one of the biggest ones - the way I communicate when being more dominant definitely changes.
A few more suggestions:

  • Get him to hold a dildo in his mouth then sit and fxck his face essentially (he may need to use hands depending on the type of dildo!)
  • Tell him how many times he has to make you come before he’s allowed to ejaculate.
  • Sensory deprivation as @BigishBen said - you can use a pinwheel, feather tickler, temperature play with ice, candle wax etc, flogger if he’s into that (sometimes I like just brushing them over the body). Using a wand or vibrator on him too. Have a look at the male erogenous zones to get the most from this and work out what his are!
  • Get him to kneel by the side of the bed whilst you make yourself come (can also make him kneel not facing you so he can just hear what’s going on)
  • Get him on all fours and rim him whilst milking his cock (if that’s something you both enjoy obviously). I personally find this position fun to dominate in so you could also explore pegging if that’s something you would both enjoy.
  • Make him taste his own cum (whether that be licking it up or through you)
  • Edging (one of my faves as you just know you are completely in control)
  • Make him worship you before being allowed to touch (again this falls into the communication side of things probably)

There is so much but a lot of it depends on what aspect of domination you both want to do like others have said. If he’s usually the more dominant one during sex then try and think about the things that he does that you both enjoy and switch them if you can. For example, if you love it when he pins you down and fxcks you, then you can do exactly that to him. If he likes giving direction on oral then you can also try this.

Start off slow and enjoy it. And don’t forget aftercare is super important :blush:

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@I_ll_try_anything_once2 like everyone has been saying, it all depends on you as a couple, however I would say denial always works well in any scenario. Perhaps having him please you, with the promise if he does well that you return the favour. You tie him down, get to it, and just stop to let him cool off, then repeat. You’ll have him begging, and as soon as that happens you have him right where you want him to proceed.

The leash waiting for its debut:

“I have a leather leash and collar I keep in drawer that I’ve been saving. I want a guy to wear it while he goes down on me. Then afterwards, I want to peg him, and when he finishes he’s welcome to come over my chest, but only if he licks it off afterwards.”

The superhero and villain:

“I want a high-concept, BDSM-infused role-play where I am a superhero and my arch nemesis captures me and tortures me. I’m talking tied up, flopping, spanking, wax-dripping, make-me-beg-for-it-to-stop torture. With lots of sex from the pent-up frustration afterwards.”

These items will give you good ideas to

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Also, never forget how powerful the voice And words can be in the moment. Ask him what he wants, if it’s him being selfish, then deny him until what he wants is in line with what will get you off.

That! Yes please! That! :grin::joy:

To echo some of whats already been said, a really fun and fiendish way to dominate which doesn’t require much investment or even that much skill (just will) is edging and orgasm control sessions. Long slow teasing with lots of lube to bring your guy to the edge of orgasm over and over again will drive him crazy. Add in some lovehoney cuffs or restraints and there you go.

Depending on how dominant you want to be and how much he will tolerate, you can let him cum normally at the end, or finish with some post orgasm torment. Or make him eat his own cum…!

@I_ll_try_anything_once2 I think you need some advice from @Smultron

When we got into it I wasn’t sure what to do. Pretending and playing a role felt awkward and false. Then we realised I could just express what I wanted anyway, but in a more stern and forceful way.

In other words, I might want him to go down on me. But instead of asking nicely or suggesting it, I’ll order him to do it while pushing head between my legs.

Collars, leashes and cuffs work a treat too. I got all of mine from LoveHoney, of course, and they’re wonderful. We prefer the softer materials so that there’s an element of comfort while the submissive one is being dragged and pushed around.

One more thing - bold make up. I feel more confident when I apply everything a bit more darker and bolder. Bright red lipstick and thicker eyeliner make me feel like I’m in control.

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