Eeeek!!! ANAL

Sex Tips & Talk
1

So I've been looking around for a while now for information on anal and nowhere seems to be helping me out very much. They all say the obvious, plenty of lube, foreplay and a relaxing setting. But no where will tell me anything else really :(

There are so many things I want/need to know though as I'm about to lose my anal virginity and I feel so unprepared!

1. What should I expect? (I've engaged in minimal anal play - I have the booty call buttplug)

2. How do I prepare? (Douche? Dont douche? etc)

3. How to make it easier? (Sometimes just a finger with lots of lube can be fainful, is there anyway to get around this?)

4. Is it messy? (Like I've heard some terrible roumours and im not sure if they are true...)

And finally 5. After care? (Should i do anything right after or ??)

Sorry for such a long post but I need some urgent help!! Please don't sugar coat anything for me, honesty is the best policy!! :)

Thank you!! XX

2

The key to a anal play is to relax and take it very slowly, and yes loads, and I mean loads of lube.

I've enjoyed anal for years and have never used a douche but some people do feel more able to relax knowing that they have and everything is nice and clean down there. As for making it easier something fairly small with some flexibility would be ideal. Silicone is great and lovely and smooth. Steer away very large, metal or glass plugs to start with as these can be very unforgiving.

Never had any mess of any sort from me or hubby, he's a little more inexperienced but we do usually have a wipe round down there with a baby wipe just before and again after. These are very gentle and most are slightly moisturising so great for delicate areas.

With regards to it hurting, take some deep breaths and relax. I get to the point of almost being completely limp all over before penetration. Once past the fairly tight ring of muscle you'll find the rest much easier and more comfortable. For the first few times just inserting something small and a few gentle thrusts is usually enough. It takes a while to build up to proper hard thrusting and larger, more solid toys. Make sure your partner is aware of your concerns. Have a chat about it a few times first and communicate during the act. You need to feel that you are able to slow down or stop proceedings if necessary.

On a final note - enjoy :)

3

Thank you so much!

its much more settling to have this information coming from an actual person with real experience!

4

Hi there,

I'm fairly new to A, so I know what you're going through!

1. What to expect? Anything from a massive orgasm to some slight discomfort, unless you do it with someone who isn't careful.

2. Douche? Yes, yes yes. It can take a while to clear yourself out, but take that time!

3. How to make it easier? Warming up is essential. That means using things that are smaller than what's ultimately going in there, which I guess is a penis. I've found a small double-ended dildo ideal for both practice and warming up. Look for the Lovehoney Basics mini double dildo. You can start with the smaller end, then move to the larger end.

You might also find vaginal stimulation helps, use a dildo or vibe while he's working on the back entrance.

Try injecting some lube up there after douching. You can buy injectors on here or just use those free ones that come with kids medicine.

4. Is it messy? Not if you do 2 properly!

5. Afterwards? Have a ciggy, drink, whatever you want! There might be a lot of lube around that needs cleaning up, so it's best done with a towel underneath. Just don't put anything that's been up your bum in any orifice until it's properly cleaned!

5

Hiya :) I may not be the best person to advise as I'm not an anal master! We only did it twice, then decided the sensation just wasn't for us, however I'll share with you my experiences anyway in case it helps.

You can douche if you like, but it's not necessary, it's only really done to make you feel more comfortable and less worried about mess. I've never douched, and we never experienced any mess when we did anal play. You might perhaps want to go to the toilet first and give yourself a quick clean like Terri said, but you don't have to douche.

We prepared for anal just in the usual way, no toys or anything though. My partner made sure I was relaxed and horny, then performed oral anally on me (sorry, I hate the 'R' term!), and gently inserted a finger to massage me until I was relaxed. We used lots of water based lube (didn't have any anal lube), and I actually started on top in the cow girl position. Having tried it in both doggy and cowgirl - cowgirl really is 100% easier! I'd definitely recommend it as a starting position, as you're in total control and you can decide how much of him to take, and when you're ready for thrusting. It also hurts a lot less I found :)

In terms of pain, it might feel uncomfortable, but if you take it slow then it shouldn't hurt. When we were researching anal tips, we found that it's best to slowly insert the penis step by step, stopping to let the muscles relax each time. Once it's in, you should just stay still for a few minutes as the body's natural reaction will be to clench and tighten up, but this does ease off. When you're feeling more relaxed and like you're no longer clenching, then proceed with gentle thrusting or whatever you feel comfortable with. :)

You don't have to do anything special after, but you may find you need to fart if any air has been pushed in! If you do get the urge, the only thing I'd say is have tissues to hand or go to the toilet as you're likely to blast semen or lube out of your bum, haha!

Hope this helps, sorry I'm not much of an expert! Have fun ;)

6

Suzi and Boogaloo thank you so much!

All this information has been so helpul and has made me much less scared of it xx

7

1. What should I expect? (I've engaged in minimal anal play - I have the booty call buttplug)

It varies so much from person to person it's hard to say.

2. How do I prepare? (Douche? Dont douche? etc)

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, much of it depends on what I'll be doing and how clean I'm feeling. I always try to go to the toilet about an hour beforehand, this gets rid of most of the mess if there will be any and gives time for your body to adjust back afterwards.

3. How to make it easier? (Sometimes just a finger with lots of lube can be fainful, is there anyway to get around this?)

Lots of lube and until you get used to it, try wearing a buttplug for about 5-10 minutes beforehand. This will help you get over the shock of sudden entry and help you lube up. You may find it more comfortable to go back onto the cock/dong rather than the other way around. This lets you control pace and being less nervous can help you relax and make it easier.

Make sure you don't rush it. If it's not working then you are better off stopping for a few minutes or completely. Feeling pressured won't help you relax and if you don't enjoy it you are far less likely to repeat it. Telling him/her this beforehand will get this established and avoid disappointment.

4. Is it messy? (Like I've heard some terrible roumours and im not sure if they are true...)

It can be so best to put down a towel just in case. Mostly I don't find it messy regardless of whether I douche.

5. After care?

Baby wipes can help clean up without feeling rough but cuddles, TV, or whatever you enjoy.

8

Hellooo ^_^ The first time can be different depending on the person for some it is uttely pleasurable, others painful but if it's painful first time, don't give up trying again, your body isn't used to it and it does get better with time & practise, once you start experimenting with positions/speed/force etc you'll find out what works best for you ^_^

1. What should I expect?

It's difficult to say as it's differnt for everyone (not helpful answer sorry)

2. How do I prepare?

Again, it's down to your preference, I had a douche but never used it, as I got used to it I noticed there was less mess until there was none & it's been that way since. You could douche, got to the bathroom at least an hour and a half before,

3. How to make it easier?

LUBE, take it slowly, don't rush, relax and COMMUNICATION, at any time it's uncomfortable/painful say so and stop until you feel ready to continue or try another time. I find that foreplay before anal makes it a whole lot easier be it a finger, buttplug or rubbing, again, it's different for everyone

4. Is it messy?

It might be, it might not be, if you're worried put something under that you wouldn't be fussed about getting messy like a towel or blanket/old sheet, something you could wash or throw out. It isn't as messy as rumours make out to be

5. After care?

Have wipes at the ready or go for a shower, relax afterwards and enjoy the feeling, have cuddles & kisses or something you enjoy to chill out. Talk about it afterwards and see how it was for both of you and talk about how yous could experiment if you decide to try again

Hope this helps you ^_^ x

9

The important thing is for you to control the pace and also the angle of penetration. As has been said above, the cowgirl will enable this almost completely.

But if you are in the doggy position then your partner should remain still and you should push back until full penetration is obtained rather than them treating this as a battering ram exercise!

If you are underneath facing your partner then some care needs to be taken as your legs will be widely spread and bent backwards and deep penetration is a usual by product of this position.

Also, as advised use lube. If using water based then re-apply at opportune moments.

Don't forget if only one of you is having fun then it's only half the fun possible.

10

Boogaloo wrote:

Hiya :) I may not be the best person to advise as I'm not an anal master! We only did it twice, then decided the sensation just wasn't for us, however I'll share with you my experiences anyway in case it helps.

You can douche if you like, but it's not necessary, it's only really done to make you feel more comfortable and less worried about mess. I've never douched, and we never experienced any mess when we did anal play. You might perhaps want to go to the toilet first and give yourself a quick clean like Terri said, but you don't have to douche.

We prepared for anal just in the usual way, no toys or anything though. My partner made sure I was relaxed and horny, then performed oral anally on me (sorry, I hate the 'R' term!), and gently inserted a finger to massage me until I was relaxed. We used lots of water based lube (didn't have any anal lube), and I actually started on top in the cow girl position. Having tried it in both doggy and cowgirl - cowgirl really is 100% easier! I'd definitely recommend it as a starting position, as you're in total control and you can decide how much of him to take, and when you're ready for thrusting. It also hurts a lot less I found :)

In terms of pain, it might feel uncomfortable, but if you take it slow then it shouldn't hurt. When we were researching anal tips, we found that it's best to slowly insert the penis step by step, stopping to let the muscles relax each time. Once it's in, you should just stay still for a few minutes as the body's natural reaction will be to clench and tighten up, but this does ease off. When you're feeling more relaxed and like you're no longer clenching, then proceed with gentle thrusting or whatever you feel comfortable with. :)

You don't have to do anything special after, but you may find you need to fart if any air has been pushed in! If you do get the urge, the only thing I'd say is have tissues to hand or go to the toilet as you're likely to blast semen or lube out of your bum, haha!

Hope this helps, sorry I'm not much of an expert! Have fun ;)

Thanks for the information on positions, I was just going to ask advice on this as I'm considering losing my anal virginity and neither my boyfriend nor I were too sure about the best way go about it! I assumed reverse cowgirl but wasn't 100% sure how easy it would be xx
11

I haven't read any of the other comments so I apologise if I am repeating them, I know the LoveHoney community will have given you greaadvice already.

1. What should I expect? (I've engaged in minimal anal play - I have the booty call buttplug)

I guess it all depends on the size of your other half's member. But, it is stretching your bum a little. So I would definitely lube up. It may be painful but make sure you communicate with your partner. If it hurts you should tell him, to slip it out a little or for him to just have the head in, whatever you feel comfortable with.

2. How do I prepare? (Douche? Dont douche? etc)

I will tell you about my first anal experience. It was a nightmare. I tell you it not to scare you but so you are definitely prepared. My first experience was with my first sexual partner after about a year of been with him. And it weren't the most romantic scene. It was actually grim. But we were young and we were doing what most teens think is kinky haha. So after a little vaginal. and lots of foreplay I allowed him to put it in the poop shoot. And it hurt, but it was a great pain. I allowed him to carry on. And he then went back into my vag... but then... after finishing. We could smell something. .. checked his member and I had gotten shit all over his D... now you can imagine my embarrassment, but like I said. he went back into my fanny after my arse. And I had shit in there! It was one of the most horrible experiences of my sex life. He had poo on his peen and I had it all up my fuff!
So I would definitely recommend having a poo before you engage in anal. I would make sure you have got baby wipes handy when you're doing it. I would personally douche. But only because of my first time Experience.

3. How to make it easier? (Sometimes just a finger with lots of lube can be fainful, is there anyway to get around this?)

In my opinion. I would much prefer to have my OHs peen inside my butt than a finger. I think a finger makes things more awkward. I don't like it at all. So I would make sure there is lots of foreplay. Getting you wet from your fanny and using them juices to lube your bum. Have him massage your hole and if you're into it rim you etc. It all depends what you like. You said you have a butt plug? Bring it into foreplay. If you're still nervous because of been naturally lubed add a little more lube. You need to make sure you're comfortable so foreplay is a must. You don't want to be tense or over think the situation.

4. Is it messy? (Like I've heard some terrible roumours and im not sure if they are true...)

I already told you about my first time with anal. And that is the only time it has ever happened to me.

And finally 5. After care? (Should i do anything right after or ??)

I'd personally do a toilet run see if you can do a poo after wipe away any bits that may be on your bum etc. Basically the same as vaginal but for your butt :D

12

Your list of do and don't is pretty good.

Douche for me is a must, even if you are playing in the bath or shower.

And if it hurts, don't. It's about enjoyment, not pain. That said, now that I'm trying dildos with more girth desensitising lube sounds sensible!

Cumalot!

13

Hi there,

Rather than bothering yourself with randomers anal horror stories on the internet (no offence to these guys, there's a lot of helpful info here but) I strongly suggest you check out this book: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=1554 It literally changed my sex life. It answered all my questions and made me feel confident with some expert advice and knowledge up my sleeve and now I love anal. (Here's my "after" review: http://alwaysthelittlespoon.com/2014/07/the-ultimate-guide-to-anal-sex-for-women/)

14

My advice, don't rush. I've been trying anal play for a couple of months now and just slowly working up to it, you don't have to do it all in one night so I hope you're not going to rush in to it and be expected to take it all in one go (your original post sounds quite urgent if I'm honest) I'm sure it will happen when it happens and you and your body is ready, just enjoy the ride.

I do personally prefer to use a douche. Makes me feel a bit more comfortable as I've read the horror stories too, I think most people have lol and it's enough to scare you.

Try a prober. I found this useful to get used to the feeling of something inside me bum. Lovehoney sell a basic one which is pretty good.

Lube, lube lube too. Invest in an anal one too as they are much thicker. This is now my go to lube for everything!

After care, simple, tissues, wet wipes. And I like the suggestion of cuddles. Yes, cuddles are good! 

Please enjoy, relax, don't rush and be sure you trust your partner.

15

Check out the deal of the day today. The dildo is small and great quality. It would be a good way to start. Also if you don't like it you can let your partner share the experience!

16

As everyone has said, the keys are taking it slow, plenty of lube and trying not to tense up. If you tense yourself you are much more likely to firstly, not enjoy it, and secondly damage yourself. They say it's the people who are relaxed who survive crashes. Bit extreme, but the principle is the same.

When you first start warming up, vaginal play can help. Obviously do not use the same toys or fingers different holes, keep anal toys and vaginal toys apart, but just gently massaging the clitoris, or stroking the vagina should help you to relax a little bit. I found that my OH was a lot more relaxed when anal wasn't the sole focus, so I could try to loosen her a bit while she was still feeling pleasure.

We've never used a douche before. I've never experienced a "horror story" just be prepared that there might be some...leftovers on the first few toys that you use. I don't really mind it, I don't believe in being embaressed by your body, but be prepared that this will probably happen. Just wash any toys you use thoroughly afterwards.

If you feel ANY discomfort during anal, stop. Even if your partner seems annoyed about stopping, their pleasure isn't worth damaging yourself. Anal sex can be fantastic for both parties, but it's not for everyone, so don't be ashamed, embaressed or upset if you find that you simply don't like it.

Just go slow, don't make the whole night about anal, build up to it naturally, use plenty of lube, stay relaxed and stop if you decide you don't like it. Hope I was able to help a bit. :)

17

Hi If you're having problems with one finger I'd wait untill you are comfortable with at least two.

I wont let her near my rear with her strapon until I'm warmed up and have at least three fingers stretching me.

Remember your rectum is about a fifth as thick as your vag. So lube is a must, dont stretch or tear it!!

If it hurts stop. You will get there, just don't rush.

Enjoy. x

18

Relax take it easy :) deep breaths and go slow also use a lot of lube re apply if you need to.

19

I am sort of in Kwaiikittens predicament as well, well my OH is. She had ex's that tried it without asking and now she associates it with assholes sticking it in arseholes to show off to their mates.

She understandably has similar fears and i do not want to hurt her and want her to enjoy it if we do try it so your comments are all very helpful. We have discussed it but it is on hold until she has more confidence it is not going to be horrible.

From reading a number of the posts the general opinion seems to be cowgirl is the best for first time? We would only want to try a more sensitive position rather than something impersonal like doggy and she does not like spooning. Is missionary too difficult or awkward for first time?

Did anyone have any problems the day after? Sore bum, diarrhoea? etc we are both a bit worried about short term damage.

She enjoys having her bum touched but does not like fingers in at all even during intense oral. Did it get better with time after the first time a finger went ? Do we need to try more or accept it does not help?

thanks guys for all the excellent advice.

20

This has all been so helpful!!