Hey guys, so we have had an difficult couple of months and this last two weeks have been awful resulting in our pooch flying over rainbow bridge.
Bizarrely I have never felt as close or connected to my other half as I do now. I am not an emotional person at all and it can come across that I am quite hard faced but this to be honest broke me as it did my other half too.
We have been consoling each other a lot but in the last week and he has been so attentive and caring towards me I am really surprised by it (in a good way ofc). Just the little things like texting to ask me how I am and the little things like that have made all the difference and I feel connected to him in a way which wasn’t there before. He even looks at me differently.
Sorry for your loss. We have experienced the loss of our beloved rescue dogs 3 times over the course of our marriage, the last being a week before Xmas two years ago. Such events really do bring you closer together, even if you’re close in the first place. As you say, it’s a good thing.
Really sorry to read about your loss. It is always heart wrenching.
Similar experience to you. As its such a shared grief when we lost our pooch it brought us together even more.
Sorry for your loss. I know how big a wrench losing a pet can be.
I have experienced this in some ways. I suppose it has made your partner look up and see you (and you see him). It sounds to be like this is a chance for something good to come out of something awful.
I’ve had a few experiences like this, although maybe not to the degree you have. Regardless, reading your post gave me goosebumps. I’m glad you have each other in such awful times, and long may it continue
My condolences @Bex84, I’m very sorry to hear about such a profound loss… I hope that your renewed emotional connection with your partner helps you through this difficult time.
I do agree with @brufton, that perhaps telling your partner that you appreciate his small kindnesses may be important to ensure that he continues to support you if anything similar may ever occur.
Although personally I have not yet experienced a shared loss with my partner, I think that you are maybe quite fortunate to find this much-needed support within your couple. In moments of crisis, it is often important to have someone to turn to, like your partner, and I hope for you that perhaps appreciating these small attentions, as you are doing, may become a sense of hope for you amid this tragic loss.
@Bex84 I’m so sorry to hear that your dog has gone over the rainbow bridge. I’m sure you know the fable that you will one day be reunited on the other side of it.
My OH is not a dog person, but he has stood by my side and even dug graves for the two I have lost.
Sometimes grief can bring people closer together, because our emotions are more exposed - we kind of get to know each other better?
I think that signs of being vulnerable can bring us closer to others - shared human experience.
A relative of my OH died during the first lockdown. All we could do was sit and watch the live-streamed service together.
Being with each other at times of loss counts for a lot.
@brufton thanks and yes I was thinking of doing a little something for him as a thank you for the support.
As I say I am not very good at talking about my feelings so was going to write a short but sweet note to express my appreciation…
He did ask me if I found it wierd that he left the music on in the kitchen so it wasn’t too quiet when I got up and I told him not at all it was really nice of him. Suppose I could have said more as it did mean a lot to me just not good at showing it xx
We have been cuddling more too which he said he liked and I agreed I did too. Definitely hoping this continues
If you are not usually demonstrative, then how about a note in his wallet for him to find? Or pin a note on the fridge - you could add humour, write it in magnetic letters if you have them.
You don’t suddenly have to get all touchy-feely and pouring your heart out if that is not your style - there are lots of ways to connect and show appreciation. Even a card with a hand-written note and a photo of your dog is something he may keep.
Or you could just kiss him and say ‘thank you’ - he will know.
Thank you and that’s exactly what I was hoping just a short note to say thanks xx to be honest I think if I suddenly let loose on feelings he would think I had lost it lol, just not my style
