Hi all, Over the last few weeks whilst my wife and have been having sex, about 10 - 15 minutes into it I have started lose my erection. I am still very attracted to my wife and still very much in the mood but for some reason it just goes? Any advice on what I could do to maintain it?
First things first, you have to figure out why it might be happening. Anything from weight gain, to stress, depression, new medications and even age can have an effect. Almost a year ago I went a month without being able to get aroused. I tried, but nothing worked. There was a situation that was causing tremendous amounts of stress in my life. Once that was resolved, everything started working normally.
That's just my own experience, but try to figure out what might be causing it first.
When I had a similar problem I went straight to my GP. He did a blood test and found that my Testosterone level was off the bottom of the scale. He prescribed a hormone replacement gel (Testogel) which is applied to skin (shoulders or stomach) once a day.
That has sorted the problem very nicely.
Cock rings are good and look good and my husband says that they feel good in a constricted way. May be worth a try as they are a turn on seeing my man wearing a cock ting an on around his ball sack.
Alicia4Ever wrote:
rockstar, thats curious as I'm a trans woman on testosterone blockers, and oestrogen, so my testosterone levels are not just at the bottom of the scale for a man, they are normal for a woman, which is litterally almost zero, at 0.8, where normal mid range for a man is 25; and I can still get it up
Odd, but my low level was mainly due to my age (I'm 68) so perhaps that's an explanation for the discrepancy.
Alicia4Ever wrote:
Are you having very vigourous sex, if you get too physical your muscles can demand a higher blood flow so your body will take it from somewhere else in your body; much like getting the stitch when running too hard after eating, where you body takes blood from your digestive tract causing it to cramp.
It can be psycological too, it could be, if you have been having more sex than usually, a little doubt has creep into your mind that you will not be able to keep up the pace, and you can create a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. Many other similar thoughts can have the same effect.
rockstar, thats curious as I'm a trans woman on testosterone blockers, and oestrogen, so my testosterone levels are not just at the bottom of the scale for a man, they are normal for a woman, which is litterally almost zero, at 0.8, where normal mid range for a man is 25; and I can still get it up
From the research I have seen from both Dr Powers in the US and the TransDIY community on Reddit, as long as you have a dominant sex hormone in a high enough quantity, anyone that has a penis should be able to get erect. For example a transgender woman whos E2 is up around 250-300pg/ml, will still have functional use. However those numbers are off of memory and YMMV.
I start my transition Friday.
How old are you Foxy? Age can play tricks like this. My ex hit 40 and started losing his erection.
Hormones are the best and the worst. They only need to be slightly out of whack and they can effect lots of body functions. I was tested in my twenties and the doc said my testosterone was off the charts for a female. I was rampant at that point (maybe I wore my ex out!).
Are you taking any medication? I also suffered from depression and the meds hit my sex drive badly. I wasn't interested for a long time then when I did recover my drive I had a major problem with orgasms that just wouldn't arrive.
I think it's pretty normal to suffer with different types of sexual problems throughout our lives but look at the obvious like age, hormones and meds before you start to panic.
On a practical side a cock ring might help for the time being.
It's always best to pop to the doctor's just to rule out any potential issues. Once you get the all clear on the health front sometimes it's worth trying Viagra just so you don't get into the self fulfilling prophecy of worrying about loosing it and therefore loosing it. Try not to worry about it too much, my experience has been that it tends to come and go sometimes with time and age a little bit and that as long as you don't get yourself too stressed and there's no medical issues it can just work itself out.
Hi all, thanks for all your advice. VR : I am 35, never really had this issue before, only when extremely tired. Think I will give the practical method a try and use a cock ring to see if that helps. Thanks again
Great, Foxy. Once you get your confidence back you can either lose the ring or experiment further with different types or using them in different ways (highly recommended by the way).
If, however, you do have a few more problems maybe a trip to the GP will be in order.
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Update: well issue have definitely gone now, thanks all for all the advice, I am very much back in the swing of things 
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What was the issue? Did you go to your gp or find another solution?
Stress and tiredness. Now I have managed to get rid of the stress factor, all is working great.
Bigishben: yep now I am more relaxed have the same issue 
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Stress and tiredness will do it, worrying about life issues too. We are fine tuned machines, there’s a lot that can go wrong physically and mentally. Any problems that last more than a few weeks need confronting.
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@BigishBen most definitely
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This has been an interesting post - and I’m glad you rectified the issue. I’ve had similar issues - although mostly it’s to do with my mind, if I get a doubt in my mind that my wife isn’t enjoying it then I tend to lose my erection. Likewise if my mind/her mind is elsewhere (I really enjoy giving her oral - but often my mind is so focussed on that, my erection disappears). In my case, being relaxed, and getting my head in the right place has been the solution - so stress very much can be an issue. If your in a happy and supporting relationship I recommend having a good discussion with your OH. On a practical note - I have also bought an adjustable cock ring - this has helped a bit I. The fact that I can ‘focus’ on pleasing my wife and then still have an erection at the moment my wife then wants it - rather than having to spend a few minutes getting it back, after which the moment can have left! But I think in short, relax and don’t overthink it (if you are not suffering from an actually medical issue that is)
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