Reason for the secrecy? If he's anything like me he'd like nothing better then to have a wife be into naughtiness. I know I'm already jealous of him and he doesn't even know!
Neither of us have had much of a sex drive, not been intimate since before I had our daughter (now 8)
ive lost an amazing amout of weight over the last 2 years and I've started to get some confidence.
As im growing in confidence he just seems to be turning into an very old man. He's so conservative about life. Fun is a dirty word.
You've had a dead bedroom for over 8 years and you're suprised that he's not some happy-go-lucky spring chicken? Maybe he's miserable/grumpy/old because his own libido, confidence and self-worth has taken a hit?
Maybe opening up to him and sharing this new self with him is one way you can help revive his interest in life again? Or just communicate with him in general to improve your relationship? Just a thought...