My OH is totally different with his best friend than with his other, don't really like them that much, friends, with most he has this type of banter and joking about what they're wearing and crap like that but with his best friend it's a kind caring relationship, they tell each other anything and support each other and tell each other they look good, yes there's still a little banter but much less and softer, kind of like between me and him. I can't help but feel like this banter is a way of keeping people at arms length, a way of keeping up a Fascade of manly toughness?
Spot on. We're quite often trapped in machismo.
When I was seriously ill in hospital, my best friend texted me every day, several times a day for weeks. Not once did he go beyond smal-ltalk but I knew why he was doing it.
The first night out afterwards we got realy drunk and cried at each other about it. "I...I don't utterly despise you, man." "I...I don't utterly despise you either." Softies. :)
Anyway. Good luck with your problem. Writing a letter might be an idea. It gives you time to put forward your feelings properly and gives your partner time to read, think, react, calm down, think, read and hopefully understand.
Oh man, we can be right fuckers sometimes but the majority don't mean to be, it's just the way we are I'm afraid.. It's very very rare that I probably compliment my OH which I know is pretty mean, but I guess I'm also looking for compliments in return sometimes... Guy's have feelings too and occasionally need reassurances 
stamford wrote:
Oh man, we can be right fuckers sometimes but the majority don't mean to be, it's just the way we are I'm afraid.. It's very very rare that I probably compliment my OH which I know is pretty mean, but I guess I'm also looking for compliments in return sometimes... Guy's have feelings too and occasionally need reassurances 
I think a lot of women forget this, constantly complain that their man doesn't compliment them but don't see a problem pointing out his beer belly or telling him he needs some nice clothes.
I constantly tell my man how amazing he is and he does the same. Receiving compliments makes you want to give compliments.
Ok guys! so after a long heart felt discussion last night. We both said we need to make more effort with each other. Glad to see all of you comments too :) x