Myself and my partner have a fantasy of him watching me with another man
We have looked online for a long time , been on dating sites and such to try and find someone
What we are looking for is someone we could get to know a bit, make sure we are all on the same page
It seems simple but we just can’t seem to find anyone
They have to understand it may be a one off or may be more than once if we enjoy it, I obviously want to find them attractive, they need to understand that my partner is involved , not physically with them but with me
It’s new to both of us and we don’t just want to jump into anything
I think you should consider a club to visit. I’m sure you would find someone there. Of course you have the option there also of vetting folks before going any further. You both must be 100% for doing this as well. You can even go to a club and don’t have to do anything if nothing takes your fancy. @Carlsgirl
I second the club idea, you could even try small bits first like having your partner watch you kiss and touch another man and see how that feels.
You will find people that will be happy with a one time thing and others who aren’t interested in that and their level of interest in spending the time to get to know you will depend on that.
You could try a swinging site, googling should bring up a fabulous popular one and you may be able to use the forums there to open the conversation with potential partners.
I have found that different dating apps work better depending what you’re looking for and also the area you are in, so it might be worth trying some other ones which are more aimed towards what you are looking for.
I think being clear what you’re looking for from the start is really important, having couples profile linked up helps, but also it’s really important to show that you have something to offer for the other person. I quite often come across couples profiles and it’s like a tick list of what they want from a third person and it’s clear they haven’t thought about what they can offer and/or show that they will consider your needs during your time together. That’s what makes the difference to me anyway!
I’ve heard Feeld is pretty good for meeting other people for a bit of consensual non-monogamy. (My wife & I have also toyed with the idea, and Feeld would be our first choice).
I recommend, if you haven’t already, that you will want to know what your limits are for permissions, and make sure you both know these really really well. It’s worth communicating lots and really openly about what you both want from the experience, and respecting the others’ concerns.
Whatever boundaries you decide on together should be described on your dating profile to get the best chance of matching you with the right person, and making their experience a good one.
Do be very clear about what it is you both want, eg is it just a quick no-strings hookup, or do you want an extended date beforehand and lunch the next day to get to know the third person? Can you both handle going out as a trio? Are you looking for multiple sessions with the same person? Is this more of a Cuckold fantasy you want to live out, or more a Hotwife style scenario?
One very important step is to agree and reaffirm that whatever happens, the play must stop if either of you are unhappy for any reason. Put your existing relationship first! There’s no need to be rude to your date/play partner/hookup if this happens. Just be sure to prioritise your life partner’s feelings, whilst being courteous and thoughtful towards your third person, as you all douse the flames of passion and bring things down a level or three.
And if all goes well, think about the aftercare for the both of you. Same applies for your date. Check everyone is OK with how everything went.
New situations can bring up some complicated emotions.
