Inviting another man to join us

Hi all, my wife and I are looking to add another man for some extra fun, nothing full on, just some mutual masturbation whilst my wife watches. We have discussed going to clubs but it might be a bit to intimidating, any advice on how we might go about finding our extra man.
Thanks in advance

2 Likes

It all depends on what you are looking for, but from the sounds of it I would recommend either fabswingers or fetlife. Both sites give you the ability to look at different kinksters in your area and speak and get to know them first. You will probably be inundated with messages from a large quantity of guys, but it will probably be your best opportunity to actually converse with the people and get to know them a bit before moving forward!

2 Likes

I’ve heard from people on here that alongside these websites:

, Tinder and other dating apps can also be useful for finding people who may be up for it. You’d need to state that this is what you’re after, but I’m sure that someone out there would be interested! I’d also recommend meeting the person first for an informal day out or something similar, just so you’d be able to establish whether you’re compatible and get on or not. Attraction is important after all! I hope this helps :smile:

2 Likes

Maybe try webcamming first? Sites like Dirty Roulette. Just chat with some strangers and get freaky? :slight_smile:

1 Like

Hubby and I started going to clubs a few years ago. We only go 2-3 a year but we almost always have a fantastic night. Met a few really great people and played with a bunch of like-minded couples. So I guess we’re more into swinging side of things (not full sex, that’s just for the husband) but it’s a comfortable way to get others involved.

1 Like

Many thanks all for the advice :grin:

1 Like

Good luck and my vote is tinder or fetlife.

2 Likes

Always wondered about this … what the expectation is… is it common just to play without ending up crossing boundaries?

To alot of people its just sex, no strings fun. Depends on your trust level etc.
Definitely take your time to find the right person, they have to be fine with you being there and the same for you.

1 Like

The important thing is to talk as a couple beforehand and agree on, and understand and respect, boundaries. Never go into these things unclear of what you’re both ok with.

For example, the first time we went we only wanted to watch others and be watched. The next time we went I wanted to play with another woman, which I luckily had the opportunity to do. Later we decided to let each other enjoy oral with others but no full sex. We still don’t - and never will - have sex with others but again that’s a boundary we’re clear on.

We also don’t go EXPECTING anything. There have been times were we’ve gone, had a drink and a dance, chatted to people and left without anything naughty happening.

Just know what you want, go without expectation and have fun!

2 Likes

Many thanks all for the responses, we have discussed it and have now decided what route we are going to take (fab).

We have both made clear what our boundaries are, and are now looking forward to the experience.

Will keep you all updated on progress :grin:

3 Likes

I also love this idea in my own head just worry about the out come, I did suggest it a couple of years age and got a resounding NO so I have never pushed it again.

Update: after full lockdown had come to an end, we decided to go on fab, and met up with a couple of nice guys (not both at the same time :grin: ) and had some great fun, the 1st guy was purely for @FoxyLea87 whilst I sat and watched, the 2nd was a bit if a free for all , anything goes… and was also the 1st time I had been with a man full on… its was a very fun afternoon / evening. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: our next thing to try is to attend a swingers club :+1:t3:

2 Likes

Not a professional but have seen the ups and down firsthand. The best I can say is consciously decide to keep the deep and open communication going. Not really realizing it but we got bogged down with poor communication. The sex started to get less frequent and passionate between us and we didn’t even know how to communicate our needs together with each other. Sounds odd but it happened quickly. The other thing I’ll say is take a break from others at times to work with each other. Out of necessity we took a break and we’ve had the best and most passionate sex the past few weeks. Last night was the first time we “partied” as we referred to it with a few other guys and it was great, almost like it was a new thing. To boot we had the most passionate sex again this morning which hadn’t happened in months until our break. Good luck to you guys as it can be exhilarating if it’s done correctly and it’s made for you!

1 Like

Now I’d love to do that, when do you want me lol

1 Like

I assume that’s for me. I’m not on here for hook ups or anything of the sort. We briefly were in a swingers site and that’s constantly what we got, even in forum subjects which which weren’t sex related. We keep our contacts close.