Finding it hard to orgasm

I don't know what it is because I've tried everything but recently I've found it reeeally hard to come... any tips?

I find a combination of a good strong vibritor and a 'cyberflicker' egg on the clit a great combo. Also if you have not tried the O my clitoral gel apply for your free sample - it doesn't work for everyone but when it does then it really works!

Good luck!

Try relaxing, give yourself time ,and don't get too stressed because that will certainly dampen your ability.

i can sympathise.. i've tried pretty much everything aswell and still no reaction! and when I feel like theres a chance I could be anywhere near close.. my males aching/out of action from trying for such a long time!

JuicyJosie liked a vibe so much it brought her multiple orgasms, so maybe it could start you off...

http://www.orgasmarmy.com/MessageBoard.aspx?toplevelID=15&threadID=123

Or maybe the Expanded Orgasm Book?

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?id=5259

My advice is:

1) Don't try too hard. Personally, I find that if I'm too focused on having an orgasm it becomes almost impossible and if it does happen it's not all that great.

2) It's a matter of finding out what works for *you*. Personally, I need strong clitoral stimulation, preferably combined with either anal or vaginal penetration.

Everyone's different, but experimentation and patience are the keys. :)

Good luck!

You must relax and let it come to you. Before you can come in the body you have to be able to come in the mind. Take the pressure of yourself and stop caring about it and it just might start to happen.
Hope you succeed S bst

Sorry just read your profile and it does occur that maybe you aren't as gay as you think you are. Have you thought of trying a real man to find out? No offence meant (trying to be helpful)

I too, seemed like forever before I had my first orgasm nearly 2 years ago. Ever since I've had maybe 10-15 while riding on top. Must be whenever he hits my g-spot and I ride away, she's please. But I am open to any sugguestions or replies that anyone may have. By the way, where do you go for the free samples. I was reading some posts and am interested in trying anything new to enhance my sexual experience.

Miss Kitty wrote:

I find a combination of a good strong vibritor and a 'cyberflicker' egg on the clit a great combo. Also if you have not tried the O my clitoral gel apply for your free sample - it doesn't work for everyone but when it does then it really works!

Good luck!

I know this was posted a long time ago but can you still get the free sample? I've just tried the flower balm and it's amazing!!!!

ooo freebies! From where?

Try to relax and concentrate on whats going on and enjoying it rather than thinking about orgasming as i find if you think about it too much you wont get there. Good luck x

*Emma* wrote:

ooo freebies! From where?

Try to relax and concentrate on whats going on and enjoying it rather than thinking about orgasming as i find if you think about it too much you wont get there. Good luck x

http://www.magicfreebiesuk.co.uk/index.php

Just lots of free stuff... not the stuff someone else mentioned sorry!

Crumbs, Alone4ever, you sound like a tantric guru.

I truly believe orgasms exist on a spectrum. It can be easy for the majority of us to get that quick fix, no muss no fuss number, but it's much harder to chase that more elusive, holy-cow-I-just-had-a-vision, kind of orgasm.

I think this thread got neglecte because the topic is very broad and there are many threads that dissect how to get to orgasm heaven in many different ways.

I really like your image of sexual energy as a bomb, Alone4ever. I sometimes get similar 'build-up' images in my head. You know those strength testers you get at fair grounds where you whack a platform with a hammer and a marker climbs up a chart? That's kind of how some of my orgasm journeys feel. Sometimes the marker slides back down but if I catch it quickly I can 'whack' it back up there. A kind of 3 steps forward, 1 step back affair. Then eventually I reach the target and the lights go beserk and I win a cuddly toy. Awesome.

You take on eneergy reminds me of surfing a bit, Alone4ever, and I find those really satisfying orgasms do kind of feel like a balancing act some times. Disciplined and tricky to master but so worth the pay off.

Tigerlilies wrote:

You know those strength testers you get at fair grounds where you whack a platform with a hammer and a marker climbs up a chart? That's kind of how some of my orgasm journeys feel. Sometimes the marker slides back down but if I catch it quickly I can 'whack' it back up there. A kind of 3 steps forward, 1 step back affair. Then eventually I reach the target and the lights go berserk and I win a cuddly toy. Awesome.

Best nonsensical description of orgasm ever! Better than winning a coconut any hows!

Ding Ding Ding!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0PamtXZO70

WandA wrote:

Tigerlilies wrote:

You know those strength testers you get at fair grounds where you whack a platform with a hammer and a marker climbs up a chart? That's kind of how some of my orgasm journeys feel. Sometimes the marker slides back down but if I catch it quickly I can 'whack' it back up there. A kind of 3 steps forward, 1 step back affair. Then eventually I reach the target and the lights go berserk and I win a cuddly toy. Awesome.

Best nonsensical description of orgasm ever! Better than winning a coconut any hows!

Ding Ding Ding!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0PamtXZO70

Oh my goodnes, you've given me an epiphany. Disco my very well be the soundtrack to certain kinds of orgasm.

Other kinds are better twinned with harmonising choirs in beautiful, Italian Cathedrals.

Loves huni wrote:

Hiya i was thinking of posting my own thread on this but i'll comment here instead...

Im getting quite concerned recently and ive got two theories, im wondering if anyone can help....

basically me and my partner have been together almost 11months and i've been living with him for about the past 3 months.. we still have sex regularly but every now and again we have a no sex phase for a few weeks, anyway there was a point where i could orgasm anything up to 12 times in one day! (it was fantastic!) but now im starting to struggle a lot more than usual to even have one :s

My theories..

1). i've recently started using a vibrator and had a little "alone time" which im worried is going to ruin my sex life with my partner as im concerned i may be getting used to the vibrations and maybe now this is the only thing that can bring me to orgasm? :S i really hope not!

2). ive just started on some new tablets and on the common side effects section it does mention women may have trouble reaching orgasm :| (i know i did consider just not taking them because of this side effect but i do have to give them a good go before i can knock them) however because i have managed it by myself im thinking this may not be the case

or maybe its a mixture of both?

Any tips/advice? any would be very much apprechiated!!

thankyou x

Hiya!

Difficulty orgasming could be a result of stress so if there's things going on in your life that are causing you to feel pressured or unhappy etc. I'd definately recommend trying to make some changes so you feel more relaxed and happy generally.

I'd maybe have a chat with your GP to see if they can find you some different medicine that does the same job but without that particular side effect.

If vibrations get you off during masturbation I'd say bring them in to your couple's play with some toys:

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14504

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14042

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14876

Hope this vaguely helps!

xxKPxx

vibrations do not dull sensitivity perminantly either, so i wouldnt worry on that note either

Loves huni wrote:

thankyou! i was getting worried that if i started to use it more (once i get it replaced for blowing up on me!) that i may just not be able to orgasm with my oh anymore, but i think i just need to relax again ive got so much stress atm i feel like its gonna kill me! :/ but hopefully it'll pass ive tried planning a romantic night in with cvandles etc but whta ever i plan always goes tits up somehow and i end up getting upset by it so i guess ill just keep trying and i may take your advice kittypurry and bring the toys we have into out play, ive used one a bit on him before and hes used it on me once or twice maybe if we use them more it may relax me.. i hope so!! :(

I find it helps to have that pressure removed by using toys! My OH has accepted that I struggle to come with fingers, tongues etc. so sometimes need the help of a toy and they are always handy when I need a quick release....I *can* come without them, it just takes so long and such precision that I feel I can relax more if I use a toy!

Ax

Loves huni wrote:

im glad im not alone i start to get really stressed if i come come after a while especially if hes goin down on me and it just wont happen i start to feel really selfish and paranoid i think i may introduce sex toys more, infact i may have myself alitlle love honey shopping spree and then have to give everything a bit of a "try" :) thanks for all the help x

Well that's just it - and the more you worry, the less likely it is to happen! It's nice to have toys to fall back on if you're struggling, and it's perfectly normal to take time to get there!

Remember to reassure your partner that it's not him, and that it's normal for women (men can be worriers like us women sometimes )

Axx