This is my first post and I hope its ok to ask this!
Me and my partner are planning on trying anal sex for the first time soon. Ive been playing with smaller plugs to start getting ready. My partner is keen to try but get freaked out easily if anything goes “wrong” (as he percieves it… ) so I’m trying to prepare as much as possible so it doesnt hurt me and put him off trying.
One thing I’m unclear about with butt plugs is, would you recommend getting used to a plug the same width/circumference as his penis? Or larger? And would the discover lube work for “all sizes”? He’s quite big and if a different lube would help I’d rather know… I’m reluctant to use “numbing” types in case I dont pick up on something being painful…
Any other hints would be great!
Thank you for reading x
Use a decent size plug, but take it slow on the day. Patience is key, and relaxing…
It is worth remembering that shit happens(!)… an unfortunate part of anal… be relaxed and have fun, if things go wrong it can become a laugh. It’s all natural.
Lube, use lots. Numbing lube can help, but if you’ve got comfortable enough with plugs I wouldn’t use… it will also numb him and can reduce the good sensations for you as well…
Thank you Baddod… I’m not worried too much about the whole “shit happens” aspect although maybe I should get a douche?
Ive read mixed stuff about them…
I would recommend using a dildo in your anus first as the in and out motion can feel very strange at first. Also keep the life close by sometimes you need to reapply.
My best advice to you is to read “The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women” by Tristan Taormino. The author has a very down to earth point of view so it’s not all clinical but still very informative. It’s a great book for both men and women, and she answers every question you can think of in the book, plus some you didn’t think of! I cannot say enough good things about this book! It really taught me a lot and answered most all of my questions.
With lube, once you think you’ve applied enough - use more. Once you think you for sure have too much, that’s the bare minimum.
My wife prefers to be very aroused/warmed up before anal, so we will often start with some oral, add a plug (sometimes swapping for a larger at intervals to get warmed up), and PIV before switching to anal. Especially when we were starting out with anal the stretching with plug (or fingers, but nails must be trimmed) was essential. Now we can pretty easily jump straight to anal without any warm up if she’s turned on enough.
Shit happens. We have regular anal sex now and occasionally shit happens. Most of the time it doesn’t. If we aren’t mature enough to handle a little cleanup here and there, probably shouldn’t be having anal. That said, if you want to do a basic anal water douche it’s probably not going to hurt anything, unlike vaginal douches that really can mess you up.
As the receiver, you must make sure your partner will put you first - he’s going to listen when you say slow, pause, or stop. It will not be fun for anyone without trust and absolute cooperation.
Slow and steady with plenty of lube, we started our anal sexlife about 15 years ago, took my OH about 3 months of anal stretching with graduating plugs before she felt ready to try for the first time, she actually stretched to a plug that was girthier than me in the belief that more than making the initial insertion easier it would make the sex more comfortable, which I’m glad to say it did,
she nearly always inserts a plug before sex whether we’re having anal or not as now anal is a huge part of our life, we’ve even found like when had anal sex last night my OH didnt have to do any pre-stretching. Made her orgasm even stronger!
Thank you everyone for all the replies… i get confused by some people saying “oh it shouldnt hurt at all” but like… i dont know how thats possible at least the first few times…
@Moop79, I think what they’re trying to say is get your anal stretching right, don’t rush and use the right amount of lube it shouldn’t hurt you, there might be a bit of discomfort at first because its a new sensation you won’t have felt before, if you feel pain just stop, carry on your stretching exercises and try again when you think you’re ready.
Had a nice little session last night with a small plug and then a vibrating plug both from LH. I didnt think the discover lube would make as much difference as it does but previously was using durex “feel” and its definitely not as good. Aiming to work up to the LH basics medium butt plug and then try a dildo… its lots of fun isnt it…
If anyone is still reading should you build up the frequency of how often you do anal play? Like… is it ok to use plug every night? Or should you go slower?
It really depends what stage you’re at in terms of the plugs you are using.
I wouldn’t have thought that frequent use of a small to medium plug would do you any harm if you’ve spent some time building up to those sizes but I wouldn’t be happy using my bigger sizes (9.5" circumference) every day.
On the other hand I do make sure that I use them a couple of times a week to keep my muscles relaxed otherwise, if I leave it too long, my muscles close up and I have to build back up again with smaller plugs until I can take the larger ones again.
When I first star having anal more frequently I would use a medium size plug a few times a week or have a ride on a dildo. Now as I have become more experienced I don’t really need to do anything bar being really turned on, and use lots of lube. My OH is just under average in terms of size and is always very gentle when he fist puts it in.
