We share some quite intimate details on here of what we get up to alone or with partners, and we describe things that we perhaps wouldn’t over tea with grandma. Toys we have, toys we want, sex acts we’ve tried, fantasies, kinks, and everything else. And I think a part of what fosters such a good atmosphere for sharing here is the feeling of anonymity - that you can reveal your kinks and turn ons without simultaneously outing yourself to family/friends/co-workers/etc. For some anonymity will be more important than others (perhaps because of their job, for example), whereas some of you won’t mind putting face shots up as a profile pic.
How much you share is entirely up to you, and there are a few features and settings that you can make use of to obscure your identity depending on what you want to share, and how anonymous you feel you want to be:
The Forum Rules - Most importantly, the Forum Rules are really strict about revealing, or asking for any personal contact info. They already stress this quite heavily, but this isn’t a hook-up/contact site, so sharing addresses, phone numbers, emails, etc is a definite no-no.
Username - Most people like to choose a username that’s not connected to their actual name, so they feel they can chat more freely about sensitive subjects and have less chance of being identified. Some people do use their real name as their username (sometimes even with a date of birth too…), but if you have, and anonymity becomes more important to you later, then you can ask Customer Care to change it.
Profile Picture - You can have a generic ‘letter’ avatar, or you can upload a picture of your own. As long as it abides by the forum rules, the scope is quite broad. Some people like putting their face in there, others go for the more revealing but potentially less identifying option of a lingerie shot. And others go for something else entirely, and choose a cartoon or something abstract. Unlike usernames, you can swop out your avatar whenever you fancy.
Profile Info - There are quite a few fields in the Preferences/Profile where you can add more information about yourself. These are entirely optional, and can be left blank if desired. If you want to include a longer blurb in the About section, there are a couple of tips in the Tip Topic to stop it from stealing the paragraph spacing.
Hide Profile and Usercard - Everyone with a forum account has a Summary page that collects up all your stats, and groups all of your account activity together in one place - but these are only viewable by other logged-in members rather than the whole internet.
It’s a forum profile at heart, so people can see what you’ve posted, what you’ve Liked, topics you’ve created, when you last posted etc, as well as the info you’ve added to your profile page.
But there is also the option to hide this from logged-in members too by ticking the “Hide my public profile and presence features” on your Profile/Interfaces page (don’t forget to Save Changes ). Checking that box will also hide your usercard pop-out:
User List and Search - Even if your profile is Hidden, you will still have a visible entry in the User List, and all your posts are searchable by putting eg. @Ian_Chimp in the Search.
So everything you post is pretty easy to find. But you can edit your posts using the pencil icon at the bottom of the message (or even withdraw them completely using the little dustbin icon) if you change your mind about what you’ve written.
When you first join you have a 24 hour edit window, which increases to 30 days when you get to Trust Level 2, so you can snip out anything you have second thoughts about during that time. An edit generally creates an edit history (the little red pencil count in the top right corner), but the edit history is only visible to you and staff members. And if you choose to use the dustbin instead your post will be changed to ‘post deleted by author’, and will disappear after 24 hours (unless you change your mind before the timer is up and fish it back out of the trash again )
#your-photos - Getting to Trust Level 2 also means you can upload photos to the #your-photos topics too (cars, underwear shots, a squirrel you saw…). These are also only visible to logged-in members. If anonymity is important, be mindful of any identifying bits of info you may scoop up in the background, as well as any tattoos or distinguishing marks, etc. While the photo posts need moderator approval before going live, they’re still regular forum posts and can be deleted at any time using the dustbin icon.
Other members can download your photos from the Lingerie Photo Topic (or any #your-photos topic), so that’s something to bear in mind if it’s a potential concern.
#members-only - There is also the #members-only category for topics that you don’t want to appear in search engine results. Obviously, with a forum of this nature, most subjects we discuss could be described as ‘sensitive and personal’ , but this is for those conversations where you worry that you may be revealing more than you are comfortable with on the open boards.
Delete Account - and last but not least, if you ever want to leave the forum completely you can request for your account to be deleted. There are a couple of options, but you can read more about that in Delete Account
So, with all that in mind, what are people’s opinions? How anonymous do you feel, and how important is that to you?
It’s up to the individual how much they reveal. I guess if you have a job that it’s best you reveal nothing, it’s best to keep things as secret as possible. First names are ok, surnames probably not. If someone you know recognised you here, then they ought not judge you.
I am in agreement I think we should keep people at arms length it’s not for hook ups and I would hope that as adults that we would all not judge or attack or bad mouth anything or anyone in the group, the people who do should be ousted ( my opinion) I would hope that if people try to keep as much info as safe and secure as possible especially their own info! We will all go through some really strange shit in the coming months with COVID 19 do we need to add to this ? Some people will be scared fragile and will need some support however remote but maybe the only contact or release for them so let’s be careful and mindful we are not adding to others worries. Again this is only my opinion ! Let’s be mindful of other as much as we can be safe and take care all of you plz
When I joined the username i have was fairly unique so it felt relatively safe, but Ive used it elsewhere (it is tricky to be constantly coming up with something different) so suspect that someone who was very very determined might find me somewhere else. However Im not sure i care
It is difficult to reveal nothing if you want to engage with people, share experiences and advise.
Sometimes I think I reveal too much. Sometimes I’ve gone back and deleted or edited posts.
I think people would have to be pretty creepy to use my posts for anything other than what they are posted for - if I had a problem I would report to Lovehoney first, then the police.
I feel fine with the anonymity. I don’t share this side of my life with the majority of people in my ‘real’ life but there are those that know.
If anyone did miraculously manage to find me, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, we’re all adults enjoying an adult forum with a multitude of topics, games etc.
I agree with @MsR that it’s hard to engage without revealing aspects of your life, but it’s down to the individual as to how much they disclose/engage
I feel anonymous enough to share general things, but keep the more specific things about me to myself. I don’t really care if people know I go on here - but I guess it’s more who knows if that makes sense? Like if a creeper recognised me in real life or something.
My face is on here, but it’s covered in grease paint and a wig to make things less obvious. I edit my tattoo out of photos, too.
I feel pretty anonymous on here especially being in the states, thought admittedly it’s not a big deal for me. I’m fairly open about what I’m into and should anyone recognize me it just be something we have in common.
A bit like some other people i probably share a bit too much but try to keep it to stuff that could effectively be anyone, like knowing my cats names won’t ID me (lots of people will have cats with the same names) and they’re not part of any of my security questions. I just try to keep stuff ambiguous, like i’ve said i’m at uni but nothing about where exactly, stuff like that (that’s also part of why i keep my face out of pics and scribble over most of the background). When it’s more specific like related to mental health issues or advice i just don’t give excess detail
We feel totally anonymous on here, we don’t mention specifics from our daily life, but we will talk about the things that we get up to in our sex life, and we would never do that to people who actually knew us or could recognise us. Our family are quite prudish, so the things we do would most likely shock them… saying that, who’s to say that they’re not on here already anonymously .
All in all we have no issues with the site as a place to chat safely and anonymously about the things we enjoy.
I don’t worry about stuff I post, my family have obviously seen some love honey adverts late at night, past 12am but they aren’t aware it has a community.
Plus they’re are millions of of people online called Emma, so no proof it’s me unless I was posting pic of my face which I never do, not even on social media anyway.
Think this thread will be super helpful for new members of the forum - it’s the type of questions/answers I wanted when I first joined, and took me a while to get fully involved.
I personally choose to be anonymous. A few of my close friends who I trust know about the things I talk about on here anyway, but that’s my own choice and sometimes the topics that are discussed need a no judgement audience, which I feel Lovehoney provide (which is fabulous).
I therefore choose to not share specific details about myself or face/identifiable photos, but don’t feel it hinders my ability to engage with the forum completely. I think one of the best things about the forum is that people can choose however much they share, and I imagine for those who don’t discuss this kind of stuff with friends etc it will be an amazing outlet
I feel this too , you don’t have to go overboard but just sharing even a tiny snippet of information about yourself might help others relate to you a bit better when it comes to giving advice.
Overall I feel fairly anonymous on here but if anyone did manage to recognise me then it wouldn’t be the of the world. It’s really all down to the individual to reveal as much or as little as they’re comfortable with.
I never ever feel anonymous enough. Though that’s nothing to do with the forum, it’s more to do with internet existence.
So, even though I do share a small amount I imagine I’m writing under my real name in front of people who know me. That does impact the depth of detail I go into. Sometimes I refrain from talking about subjects and topics that interest me, but I don’t feel like I’m missing out.
Good point about using the same username. I’ve mentioned a Tarot forum on here and if I Google EDITED BY MOD the home page for it appears near the top of the list as it includes me as a recently active user and last poster in some sections. Not that there’s anything on there I’m worried about.
First rule of fight club being a member of online forums and suchlike: NEVER use the same username on different platforms!
This basic principle is especially hard to get across to yer millennials and post-millennials, whose entire sense of self-worth is predicated on the idea of “Look at MEEEE - I’m on social media!”
When I worked as a mod on another forum where personal security was paramount, I lost count of the number of times I had to offer emergency username changes or account deletions to distraught teenagers who, for the first time in their lives, were having to come to terms with the alien notion of NOT sharing every frickin’ detail of their daily life with the whole world. Nnnnnnggg!!
Anonymity on this forum is super important for me. As are the rules and moderation that protect the forum‘s users.
In real life I‘m guarded about subjects like sex, politics and religion because these filters are important to save others‘ discomfort, embarrassment, misunderstanding, judgement, etc.
I don‘t feel ashamed about my sexual preferences, I just don‘t want to be judged by others on this basis.
Still, I’ve learned to relax about the prospect of having my details leaked in an Ashley Madison type leak. This just isn’t a huge worry for me.
Firstly, I‘m not cheating on anyone to be on here.
The Ashley Madison leak also, from what I understand was motivated by the alleged dishonest practices of the company, who it is alleged had an enormous imbalance of male to female subscribers, and misled consumers and investors on this point.
Lovehoney on the other hand is a company with ethics I can defend, and overwhelmingly supportive, kind, courteous behaviour within its‘ forum.
I love being able to talk without the usual filters, and would be comfortable with explaining myself if my identity were discovered.
Toys we have, toys we want, sex acts we’ve tried, fantasies, kinks, and everything else. And I think a part of what fosters such a good atmosphere for sharing here is the feeling of anonymity - that you can reveal your kinks and turn ons without simultaneously outing yourself to family/friends/co-workers/etc. For some anonymity will be more important than others (perhaps because of their job, for example), whereas some of you won’t mind putting face shots up as a profile pic. 
.