Here is my situation: I am currently a college student and I am at school half the week and at home half the week with my girlfriend. I am a straight guy in a heterosexual relationship. My girlfriend has asked before if she could finger me because she knows it can be pleasurable and I was hesitant because it seems "gay" (I dont know how else to explain it) but I did it. I didnt particularly care for it, I guess that isn't my thing. However, I do enjoy anal when it involves larger objects, because I enjoy the feeling of stretching and all that, but I guess I don't care about the prostate stimulation as much. Anyway, I recently bought a big inflatable butt plug and I love it and want to buy more toys but when I graduate from school at the end of this year I wont be able to keep any toys or get any more. I currently use the toy at my school and had it delivered there. If I go home I wont be able to keep anything hidden from her. So basically I am deciding if I should just tell her and then I would be able to continue using these toys. She is very understanding in general and I think it would be ok but at the same time she has no idea that I like this and she probably thinks that I actually hate anal play completely. So if I tell her that I have a big butt plug she might be kindof shocked and it could be an awkward situation, I don't know what she would think. I believe that it is normal for straight men to enjoy this sortof thing (maybe?) but I just don't know if I should tell her or how I should tell her. Sorry for the long message but I hope I can get some feedback or suggestions or support on this. Thanks.
She was openminded enough to try fingering you so anal play doesn't seem to freak her out too much and she's already aware that enjoying anal doesn't make you gay. It's something that's pleasurable to you so she might be curious to watch, otherwise if she isn't comfortable with it then just tell her you will only do it when you're alone. It might seem a bit scary to her at first but just explain it to her like you have to us.
hi
my oh likes anal but when initally started it he never said he like it so we didnt go there again this was when it was fairly early day tho r i kinda new he did tho but i didnt want to embarrass him tho so i never said anything
a year or so later when he was a work he texted me an admitted he liked it to which i said i knew an ok when asked if id ever consider wearing a strap on
as you said shes open minded i just talk to her about it
I probably will talk to her. Right now I am pretty sure she has no idea because the fingering thing I didn't really care for and I told her that so she probably thinks that I dont like any anal. I would definitely use them alone, I think I would be pretty embarrassed using them infront of her and I dont have plans for a strap on either. My only fear is that it would be hard to explain and ease into, she might just be shocked and I hope it wouldnt make her feel "creeped out" or anything. I guess I will just need to think of a way of explaining it slowly.
You could always tell her that since the time she slipped a finger in youve been expeirmenting with anal to try and become more adjusted to the idea incase she wanted to do somthing similare again, and uve come to teh realisation tht u rather enjoy having ur ass strecthed open rather than penetrated.
Im the opostie of you i dont like the streching feeling i prefer the "full" feeling of a toy, its all just preference really
WeeSteve wrote:
You could always tell her that since the time she slipped a finger in youve been expeirmenting with anal to try and become more adjusted to the idea incase she wanted to do somthing similare again, and uve come to teh realisation tht u rather enjoy having ur ass strecthed open rather than penetrated.
I agree with this. I don't see why you would have to get rid of any toys and not buy any more though :/ if she isn't into it, then solo play is still a good enough reason to keep them :/
Well I would only be using them alone, but if I didn't tell her about this then I couldn't really keep them a secret or keep them hidden so I would have to get rid of them. But if I tell her then I won't have to do that.
Maybe browse some toys on Lovehoney together and when you get to the men's section casually bring up the topic of anal toys and asks what she thinks of plugs, etc. She will probably ask for your opinion in return and you can tell her you are quite curious about them, and if you feel upto it admit that you have experimented a bit already and would like to try more.
someperson wrote:
Well I would only be using them alone, but if I didn't tell her about this then I couldn't really keep them a secret or keep them hidden so I would have to get rid of them. But if I tell her then I won't have to do that.
I personally wouldn't find this an issue in a relationship. If my partner (get me and my optimism!haha) wanted to use toys to masturbate, that would be entirely upto him, it wouldn't make a difference what kind of toys and how he liked pleasuring himself. I think it's abit weird that you're only considering telling her so you don't have to hide them...buuuut I'm single, what would i know :D
Well I just would rather tell her about it and warn her than have her find a big butt plug in the closet one day and be all shocked and confused. Of course it is also important to tell her just because she should know everything about me anyway.