I am just wondering how many of you who are in a relationship have a girlie or lads night out. Or do you do everything together with your partner?
The reason for asking is that my Mrs met an old primary school friend and swapped phone numbers etc. However because I suggested I fancy a night out with the guys if she decided to go on a girlie night out , she has now gone cold on the idea. Apart from the odd night out at the wargames club we havnt gone out on separate things for quite some time .
I go out with a close friend every few months or so just to the local pub for a couple of drinks and a catch up ,my hubby on the other hand isn't at all bothered about having an evening out with any of his mates.
I'm just wondering and forgive me if I'm totally wrong about this , if the reason your Mrs has suddenly gone off the idea of going on a girlie night since you mentioned a guys night out is because she's maybe feeling a little insecure about you being on the receiving end of any possible female attention .
I'm sure your wife trusts you completely but if it's her nature to be a little jealous it can be hard to get past that . It's just from your previous posts unwanted female attention seems to be something that winds her up a bit and maybe she's willing to sacrifice an evening out with her friend so you'll do the same ?
I do think it's good for couples to spends a little time apart occasionally as it give you something new to talk about with each other.
I almost always go out without my OH on nights out with my girlfriends. He comes with us when they bring their OH's. I enjoy spending time alone with my friends when I go out. My OH also goes out on nights out with his guy firends without me minding. In my opinion, couples should be able to be separated for a bit. I could only imagine this being good for a relationship.
wildflower wrote:
I go out with a close friend every few months or so just to the local pub for a couple of drinks and a catch up ,my hubby on the other hand isn't at all bothered about having an evening out with any of his mates.
I'm just wondering and forgive me if I'm totally wrong about this , if the reason your Mrs has suddenly gone off the idea of going on a girlie night since you mentioned a guys night out is because she's maybe feeling a little insecure about you being on the receiving end of any possible female attention .
I'm sure your wife trusts you completely but if it's her nature to be a little jealous it can be hard to get past that . It's just from your previous posts unwanted female attention seems to be something that winds her up a bit and maybe she's willing to sacrifice an evening out with her friend so you'll do the same ?
I do think it's good for couples to spends a little time apart occasionally as it give you something new to talk about with each other.
You could be right but also the other guy I would be going out with has also been in a relaltionship for over 11 years. So he isnt going to be intersted either in other ladies . The venue we were looking at is a sports pub and obviously its going to be male dominated anyway with boxing on the big screen .I think its also something down to the fact that she hasnt been out without me for over 20 years and feels a little hesitent about going. Unfortuantely I cant say anything as she may think I am pushing her down that route for other intentions .
OH often goes on lads nights out. I never do. I'm anti social and don't really like spending much time with most people or drinking or loud music or cramped sweaty places. I really am a party pooper.
Not all people need to go out with other people, it shouldn't stop you doing so if you'd like to. I get alone time to watch what I want on TV while he goes out, it's win win
I'm inclined to agree with wildflower, perhaps she's feeling a wee bit insecure about the unprovoked female attention you've been receiving as late? Also, you've lost lots of weight, are really into taking pride in your appearance etc so what could be going through her head imho and doesn't mean it's true at all. She may be thinking that you're too good for her and that with your lifestyle change you'll find somebody better and run off with them.
I say this because it's a feeling both myself and mr slinky have experienced in the past. Of course it's not rational at all but when we get fears over our soulmate rationale ceases to exist.
I could be way off here just a thought. It's worth speaking to your good lady and asking her why she's not so keen. I'd tread very carefully here though as nobody likes to admit their insecurities.
Addressing the question here. It's good for couples to spend time apart. My hubbys not into going out with friends anymore but if he was there'd be no issue. We all need time to ourselves from time to time it only strengthens the relationship 💖😙xx
Yes I can see where you're coming from on this . It's difficult when you've been everywhere socially as a couple for so many years , sounds like she just needs to get out there and become more confident but that's easier said than done .
I agree with not pushing her too hard as that could backfire on you and she might wonder why you're so keen on her going .
Bit of a tricky one .
I do think couples need time apart sometimes, whether it's a night out with friends or a night to themselves. It's healthy. For me, I've always been quite satisfyed with my own company and I need that time apart or I get very frustrated and bitchy, which is not fun for either of us.
Maybe as a compromise on this occasion said friend of yours could come round for a drink or two at your house whilst she goes out? That way you both see friends, but she isn't letting her insecurities run away with her and ruin her evening. It sounds to me as though the female attention you've been getting is bothering her more than you'd maybe thought and the idea of you going out without her could give her ideas about women being braver with their advances?
Mysteron,
In all honesty I would say this is because of the female attention you have been receiving. Tread very very carefully with it though.. as she may wonder why you are so keen to go out. Hope you are doing ok x
THanks for your input guys
I think its something I am going to have to play be "ear" so to speak and await her next move before I make mine !
I must admit this attention I am getting is beginnning to bet rather monotenous . I cant appear to be able to go anywhere without someomes eys following me around . I didn't get this much attention in my 20s . it is getting to her a little bit
It really would get to me too, to be honest.mysteron wrote:
THanks for your input guys
I think its something I am going to have to play be "ear" so to speak and await her next move before I make mine !
I must admit this attention I am getting is beginnning to bet rather monotenous . I cant appear to be able to go anywhere without someomes eys following me around . I didn't get this much attention in my 20s . it is getting to her a little bit
sugarboobies2232 wrote:
Mysteron,
In all honesty I would say this is because of the female attention you have been receiving. Tread very very carefully with it though.. as she may wonder why you are so keen to go out. Hope you are doing ok x
Nice to see you posting again .
Actually I am not keen to go out without her thats just the point . With my weekends consisting of Friday,Sat and Sunday nights due to our sick mothers , I just dont want to be staying in . So if she makes arrangements for a Saturday night then I need to fill that void as I would not be happy staying in on my jolly lonesome on a Saturday night .
NatandToms idea of having your mate round to yours for the evening while she goes out sounds like a good compromise and would mean you wouldn't just be sat in on your own.
wildflower wrote:
NatandToms idea of having your mate round to yours for the evening while she goes out sounds like a good compromise and would mean you wouldn't just be sat in on your own.
Nats idea is good. The only downside of that is becasue we have 2 sickly mothers in tow at the moment and servicing their needs, apart from essential washing up and laundry cleaning our own jobs have gotten so behind and the house is a tip at the moment. So I am not sure I would want to invite anyone around whilst the house is in that state. Its something that isnt going to get sorted out anytime soon unless more external help is brought in to help with our mothers.
I often go out with friends without O. H. If their partners come mine comes too. He however will always ask me if its ok to go out with his friends. I don't have an issue with him going out. I think its healthy a bit of away / me time.
Why don't you compromise. Go with your O. H for an hour so she's happily settled and feels supported as its been a long time of her not independently socialising . You can then go off and meet your friend.
I don't think is anything wrong about going out with your friends from time to time. On the other hand, I believe it's good for a couple spend a little time away as long as they trust each other. My OH goes out every 2-3 months with his mates and they've a lot of fun and I don't see any problem with that. The only thing that annoys me a bit is the fact that his friends are more outgoing and go out more often than my friends. Most of the girls work shifts and there's always a problem with them being too tired when they've time, so unfortunately I go out out less often than my hubby. He doesn't mind when I go out and sometimes we even give us girls a lift.
Heads she wins tails I lose.
Just spent a night in whilst she is still out with her new friends.
Oh well perhaps next time