The short story is simple - I’m giving up watching porn when masturbating. I don’t think it’s healthy for me because it makes me feel so low in mood afterwards and I seem to have come close to being dependent on it to orgasm.
The longer story is a bit more complicated. Until recently, due to a combination of an abusive previous “relationship”, lack of confidence and finding porn before I had sex with a loving partner, I struggle to orgasm without using porn or by using what I consider to be quite violent fantasies. I can’t stay in the moment when I have sex with my partner because I get nervous and can’t get turned on. Recently we’ve spent more time touching each other without the intention of having PIV or orgasming (although I usually can’t help it and finish him off anyway!). I’ve finally been able to relax and enjoy the sensations, I’ve let him touch me and kiss me down below (yes it’s taken 16 years!) and I can now say that I like being in the moment a lot more than being in my fantasy world. I haven’t orgasmed from this yet but I’m happier than I was, I feel more loved and hopefully the orgasms will come with time.
I just wanted to share my happiness and I hope you won’t mind if I check in here occassionally to keep me on track.
Interesting that you say you couldn’t find your end without it before hand… my husband uses porn every time he has self pleasure and tells me he can’t without it…
Years back I had a huge thing about porn and didn’t want him using it and though he told me he had stopped he hadn’t at all. I’ve learnt to accept it as part of his life and my own now though it does worry me that he’s so dependent on it.
We used it occasionally during our session’s at the start of our relationship, but it was hubby that wanted to stop using it. He didn’t want to become dependent on it, being the only way that he can get off. He said he didn’t want our sex life to go that way, the only for him to get off is using porn. He said it wouldn’t be fair on me, and didn’t want it to effect our sex life.
Well done, this sounds like a massive step for you
I have found that I use porn as a way to discover new things to try rather than to turn me on. Although I did watch one video a few weeks ago that really worked for me. Mostly of I’m going to use ‘visual aids’, I watch videos of my sexual partner and I and that really works for me.
I hope you get crazy intense orgasms soon and in the meantime enjoy the intimacy.
@Kitty-Cat01 . Porn is fine if thrown in to the mix of your sexual repertoire. If it becomes the predominant aspect it stops being fun.
You recognised and addressed that, so all credit to you. It certainly sounds as thought it has left you in a better place.
That sounds great @Kitty-Cat01. I’m all in favour of relaxing and enjoying the sensations in one’s own body rather than being dependent on anything else.
