Happy Pride Month everyone! 
Iāve always been an ally and am extremely proud of everyone! 
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Sending you big hugs 
i know how much it sucks. Fell for a friend at uni who was very seriously involved with another friend.
If its any consolation the feeling did fade over time for me, even with seeing him daily.
i kept telling myself their happiness and our friendship were more important to me, and that saying anything would only make everyone (me included) miserable.
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Happy pride indeedā¦
I consider myself straight - but as you only even see my feminine side, you know that Iām a part of this community too.
I love feeling pretty!
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Thank you. Your thoughts and advice are welcome. You have said things that I do think about a lot. I have zero expectations of her ever returning my feelings but I kind of crave the emotional honesty, if that makes sense?
I do worry that my feelings have come about from how incredibly supportive sheās been to me through extremely difficult times and how generally isolated I have been for so long. The past few years have been particularly shitty for me and she is basically the one bright spot I have had. And I am very aware of how unhealthy that is but between covid, social anxiety and living with homophobic and controlling family, pursuing romance, sex or friendship elsewhere isnāt exactly an option.
I think after everything that happened with coming out to my parents, I have this constant fear of being āfound outā for something and losing people. Iām incredibly open with her and she has never judged me and only ever been supportive and understanding, but with this thereās that kind of āif she knewā¦ā. That thought has become incredibly hard for me to deal with because itās something I always asked myself about coming out to mum and sadly the answer was worse than Iād feared.
I canāt help but wonder if itās better to be honest and lose that closeness than to live in the constant state of doubt. āAll it would take to lose her is for her to find out about thisā. I already have to suppress so much of myself so much of the time that part of what I value in our friendship is how emotionally honest I can be with her. At the same time, I love her dearly so the thought of upsetting her or causing stress in her life for selfish reasons makes me feel terrible.
Also, Iām a terrible lier and fear sheāll pick up on it regardless, or if we get intoxicated next time we meet Iāll blurt out something stupid.
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@Queerantine Iām going to play devils advocate here.
If she is the supportive understanding friend you believe her to be, then if you go about this the correct way, then she will understand. Having someone " a friend" say they have feelings for you is not the end of the world, and doesnāt have to be the end of the friendship. Only if the person who has those feelings for you gets all weird about the rejection does it become a problem. Ive been there, and Iām still her friend, even if she does feel a bit angry with me for rejecting her, and even though she made a hash of letting me know.
If you tell your friend from the get go that you already know that she will not reciprocate your feelings, and how bad you feel for having them, but that not being honest with her is killing you, as much as the knowledge that she canāt ever feel that way for you. And that you fear in the end she would catch on to how you feel, if only in a " are they having feelings for me ? " kind of way. And ruin the friendship via that route.
If you feel itās affecting you so bad that you are really suffering over it, then I personally would have the conversation with her. She may be uncomfortable, even in the extreme, but only for a short while. Itās you with the emotional pain that will go on and on if you cannot shut it down, and it may all come out in an uncontrolled way, and thatās not a path I would like to takeā¦ Sometimes itās very hard to do that, because your mind holds on to the hope, itās human nature.
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@Queerantine - Thank you for explaining your predicament in greater detail. Iām absolutely sure that if I were as horribly isolated as you are, I too would be falling in love with the one and only person who was there to provide light in my darkness.
I totally get the logic of what youāre saying re. fessing up to her about your feelings. As @anon62893628 says, if you handle it right, it may go well and not affect your friendship too much.
But what if it doesnāt go well? Telling her is a gamble, and I canāt get away from the fact that if she doesnāt react well, you could go from having one precious queer life-line friend to NONE - total isolation - and that thought scares me.
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Just wanted to put something on here that I adore each and everyone of you.
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Thank you and @anon62893628 for your thoughts. It feels like a bit of a lose/lose situation for me. The fear of losing her and having no one again is very scary, but the fear, guilt and shame that come with hiding this is also hard to deal with and I could end up losing her either way.
Iām not going to say anything to her at the moment because I know June is set to be a stressful month for her. I canāt imagine my feelings changing anytime soon, but another month of stewing on it might help me swing one way or the other.
I think it may be something I need to discuss with her eventually regardless of what may happen. Not in a love confession kind of way, but an honest discussion of Complicated Feelings. I think she understands that emotions and feelings can be messy, especially for someone in my situation and I donāt think sheād abandon me for it, but it needs to be the right time.
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HAppy pride month everyone! In reality I think rainbows are for life, not just pride so hereās a pretty rainbow I made this week.
https://lovehoneyforum.com/t/images-to-share-in-topics/259586/143?u=glitterismyfavouritecolour
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Looks Lovely 
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Happy pride month everyone and for those who know thanks for letting me share with you.
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Does anyone else get people ask you why you would āchooseā to be like that. I canāt get them to understand that it isnāt a choose itās just the way I am made. Itās so annoyingly condescending.
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Not so much these days (maybe they look at my grey hair and wrinkles and think itās a waste of time now 
) but Iāve heard it a few times over the years. I usually reply with āā¦and when did you choose to be straight?ā - which either results in a laugh of acknowledgement, or in them saying āDonāt be daft, I didnāt choose it.ā And I say āExactly: neither did I.ā
Iām not sure I see it as condescending, though. Itās just that theyāve grown up steeped in heteronormativity (long word!) and concepts of ānormalā vs āabnormalā and have never been required to question those assumptions. I do what I can to open their eyes. Sometimes it works. 
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Update: I got very intoxicated and horny the other night and almost sent her a message saying sheās an awesome friend but I really want to dom the hell out of her.
Luckily I did not send it. Weāre pretty open about sex so I donāt think sheād be offended but oh boy. I need to make sure I donāt do anything stupid when Iām not sober 
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@Queerantine Itās always a bit difficult when it comes to best friends, my best friend is female and my confidant, sheās the only person who knows about my bisexuality and my bisexual past, sheās both mine and my Misses friend for nearly 30 years, when she split up from her partner who was the part of our very close foursome we became very close and good friends, I was there when she needed her friends most.
It did raise eyebrows how close we were but the only person who wasnāt worried was my OH who knew she could trust us both.
Now like you I love my best friend dearly, only my Wife I love more, I love her company, I love our chats and love the fact sheās my confidant and I can rely on her at anytime, I have really strong feelings for her but non of them are attraction or sexual, she knows this as Iāve told her but she knows itās nothing more because she knows what I like and she knows she is not it, I like the boy look but with big boobs and sheās very pretty but with no boobs!
Because of how sheās been treated by men in her recent past she has become a very hard woman by her own admission and will never admit her feelings for me, I totally understand this but I know they are much the same as mine.
I suppose my long winded point is are you sure your just not very close to your friend and your confusing it for sexual attracted or are you confidant you are attracted to her? Also as you know she is bisexual is this clouding your judgement a bit?
If you are sure you are attracted to her and sheās a very good friend maybe you could sit down and explain how you feel, a good friend will understand and maybe it could be for the better.
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Oh, thereās no question I am physically attracted to her 
Emotionally things are a little more complicated but I donāt think thereās any way for me to unravel all those complicating factors.
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Let go!, do something stupid when youāre not sober, if it doesnāt work out , blame it on the booze.
Thereās only one life
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Happy pride month share them rainbows and all the love to my fellow girl power lesbians out there .
Ive been in a lesbian relationship now 4 years
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So updateā¦
My friend really needs a new flatmate. And I desperately need a place but am having hell finding one (see the rant thread for details). Considering myā¦ situation, Iām not sure living with her would be a good idea? It could be wonderful living with someone I trust and care about, but what if she gets sick of me or picks up on my crush and takes it badly?
On the other hand, itās legitimately impossible for it to be worse than living here is and at least if I lived there a few months I could get a reference and stuff for another place.
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@Queerantine - oooft, hun, that is definitely a ābetween a rock and a hard placeā dilemma. Crikeyā¦
I totally agree that you need to get the hell out of the family home and away from your homophobic mother ā¦but moving in with someone you have a crush on? Wheeesht!
On balance (just my opinion, mind) Iād say FLY THAT TOXIC COOP NOW!!! OK so youāve got feelings for your friend. Thatās something youāll just have to deal with - and who knows, maybe the reality of actually having to live with her will take the shine off that crush?
Go for it, hun. Complicated as it may be, itās freedom!
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