Happy single or scared of more heartache?

Off-Topic Chat
1

I've been feeling sad today, possibly dwelling on things too much but I really wanted to get something off my chest.

Earlier this year I split with my partner of 6 years, my decision, we were like friends there was no excitement and I decided that I would prefer to be single with the chance of excitement than miserable and trapped.

Now just a month after splitting I met someone, they swooped in, wooed me, promised me the world, was passionate and an incredible turn on, I'm not talking looks but he was so arousing and kinky, I found it easy to be open and filthy with him and that side was perfect. However we live 30 miles apart - not the greatest distance but he has responsibilities and we just never had the time, after 5 weeks of not being able to see each other he ended it saying the stress of not being able to see me was too much and that he didn't see he would ever have the time. Now the thing is I understand and I know that even though I was clinging on to the relationship in the long run I thought it may have not worked and I couldn't have dealt with not being able to see him regularly. Annoyingly I wish we could have at least got the chance to play out some of the fantasies we discussed.

I've felt sad all week but okay, I thought it was because I'd lost him but it isn't that. I've been talking to a friend about dating and I know in my profile I've said I'm happy being single but it dawned on me today that it's more that I'm afraid of heartache again. I was all prepared to do my own thing and be single this year but now I feel that there is more of a fear aspect to it all. It's leaving me feeling quite vulnerable and not in a good way, I know 33 isn't that old but I do feel a bit left on the shelf.

I know that some people suffer much more heartache than this but I just feel cheated in some way. I feel a bit reserved and concerned. How do you get over something like this? The worst thing is it feels like it was just the icing on the cake rather than the sole thing to make me feel like this. I just feel rejected.

I hope you don't mind me getting this off my chest.

2

Do your own thing and be single for a year or longer if someone comes along they come along, I am happy being single but one day I would like to meet someone and then I think of the bad relationships and wonder if I want to do it all again I'm definitely afraid of more heartache but we shouldn't let it run our lives, be happy and single and I'm sure you will find someone unexpectedly.

3

Thank you, you're right. It's funny, I was always confident single, I've never felt the need to go from one relationship to another even after years of being in a couple I was ready to do my own thing then two months of dating and I feel like this. It's just rubbish isn't it.

You're right, we shouldn't relationships don't define us anyway. It's just hard remembering the hurt, especially if you've been certain things are fine - how can we miss the signals? Some days are just worse than others. I craved my own time when stuck in the last long term relationship.