Hi all! I know this may sound a bit of a mad, naive question - but if u don't ask, u'll never know!? Are 'harnesses' and 'strap-ons' just used by women?! Or, if a man didn't want to penetrate u (for whatever reason at the time), could they use one on you? This is slightly embarrassing asking this, but I am both 'clueless and curious' on this subject! and would also like to know what they are like for women using them on OH (M or F). Also, what do a lot of men enjoy about 'pegging'? which I've heard so much about, but not tried with the OH. Thank u. 😊😯
Some strap-ons are designed to be usable by a man, usually with a hollow dildo that is larger than a mans penis. There are also a few that are designed so that a man can double penetrate a woman. As for why pegging for men? It feels good and the power dynamics can be erotic and fun.
We have been into pegging for nearly 20 years (since shortly after the Carol Queen “Bend over Boyfriend” video gave the whole idea a big push). I can say that, without doubt, some of my best, most intense, prolonged (to say nothing of noisy!) orgasms have come from being pegged. Not something to be missed.
However, it was quite a while before we discovered the fun to be had by my wearing the strapon and using it on my wife.
It came about because, with my having occasional ED, we realised that a 100% reliable 'erection' could be had with a strapon and this became our backup system. However, having 'tested' the backup a few times it became obvious that we both really got off on the whole thing and it has become an extremely regular thing for us.
From our point of view the strapon comes only slightly below the wheel in humanity's all time best inventions.
Thank u 'KingGrthy' and 'Gyrator53', really appreciate both comments and you've both been really helpful. I have been 'enlightened' as I didn't know if men really used these sex toys on the OH (the OH being M or F, may I add). I presume with the strap-on, there is some kind of 'cradle' so ur nuts don't get squashed?!!.
During times of stress, I know with myself and my hubby, we both have ED (sexual dysfunction, with me as I find it extremely difficult to orgasm myself sometimes!) problems. I don't believe there is anything 2b ashamed of about this, in fact I'm so glad others can talk about it - I especially don't feel alone now in this issue, it happens with couples more often than you think. I am so pleased 'Gyrator53' has said about the strap on being used by men for erection purposes (I actually didn't know this!!) - so again on here, I've learned something valuable. Thank u. 😉
It's really interesting what u both said and glad I know now and can look into it a bit more. Bit of a 'newbie' with 'sexploration', so don't really know the full 'in's and outs' of pegging (so to speak!) from a male (or even female) perspective. I've 'delicately' brought the subject up with my hubby, but he's not sure if he would enjoy it (don't think anyone has physically explored this with him b4). Don't want to sound crude, but he occasionally has issues with 'piles' and is also worried about this and mess and stuff.
I have explored 'that area' a little with him via. touch and I have to admit 'orally' (which I personally enjoy performing on him). I do think he enjoys the oral part and as long as he has a shower beforehand and takes care with hygiene (and myself, the same), I don't feel it's much different to other oral sex and he seems to like it! So, it's a start! If you or anyone have more details on pegging, would love to discuss more on here! Thank u both so much and have a lovely day! 😊😀😯😇
It is a delicate subject for a bloke to talk about, I’m sure everyone’s different but in my case it’s the fear of what the OH thinks about it.
The wife and I have explored anal successfully with her, using both myself and toys so I know she’s okay with the whole idea of anal, while not overly concerned with the mess of it she knows it’s a risk. Now we have explored anal play with me, fingers butt plugs and a bullet. But we have not yet ventured further than that. I am really intrigued by the thought of a prostate orgasm, using the booty buddy I feel I’ve come close to knowing what it is and if I’m right it could be explosive. Not sure of pegging just yet but I’d like to explore the avenue further with a bigger toy.
We’ve recently and only briefly discussed going further but she’s hinted at I trying on my own first but the subject got brushed off and we did nothing about it. My fear still lies with whether she is actually comfortable with all of it.
if I’m honest I feel like I’m uncertain of being too open with her about it just in case she’s weirded out, and I believe she’s doing the same and not letting on any enthusiasm just in case I’m weirded out 😂
I am sure the solution is to sit down and have an open discussion about all our wants and needs but I think we both struggle to admit our curiosities. Hopefully our next game of Monogamy will finally bring up the topic for airing out, we really find this game helps us to talk and explore things we otherwise think twice about saying 😊
perhaps in your case this is much the same? Both secretly wanting to go for it, but unsure on the others reaction? Tricky thing these brains of ours 🤔
I used to get piles occasionally, probably desk bound job to blame. Since I’ve been indulging in anal play more regularly though I haven’t had any in over a year. Anal play is basically a workout for your bum muscles and of course all the blood supply that supports them gets a workout and massage at the same time. A common misconception is that going for big anal toys loosens you bum up but in fact it just makes the muscles stronger, I know I can squeeze an object a lot harder than I used to be able to. I certainly don’t reccomend playing while one has piles but at least for me it seems to be an effective preventive measure.
KingGrthy wrote:
I used to get piles occasionally, probably desk bound job to blame. Since I’ve been indulging in anal play more regularly though I haven’t had any in over a year. Anal play is basically a workout for your bum muscles and of course all the blood supply that supports them gets a workout and massage at the same time. A common misconception is that going for big anal toys loosens you bum up but in fact it just makes the muscles stronger, I know I can squeeze an object a lot harder than I used to be able to. I certainly don’t reccomend playing while one has piles but at least for me it seems to be an effective preventive measure.
I can vouch for all of this. I used suffer occasionally with piles, but since discovering anal play, I've had far fewer, if any, problems. The only time it comes back at all is when I have to lay off the anal play for a while for other reasons (time, privacy etc.). I certainly feel that when I'm actively using anal toys, my bum feels healthier than ever.
I can also vouch for anal play curing piles. I suffered for years but since we got into pegging almost 20 years ago I have had no issue at all. There is (or was) a procedure for curing piles called Lord's dilation and this was effectively putting the subject to sleep and shoving a large butt-plug up there.
Lets face it, anal sex sounds like loads more fun (and is)
Emerald269 wrote:
If you or anyone have more details on pegging, would love to discuss more on here! Thank u both so much and have a lovely day! 😊😀😯😇
There is a lot to learn about pegging and you will find lots of info on this forum but let me just mention some things to consider:-
Butt plugs for anal training. I suggest getting a graded set so he can gradually learn to be comfortable with something in their for a reasonable length of time without instantly thinking of needing the loo. Also, inserting a butt plug briefly just before pegging is a good way to ease oneself for receiving a dildo (one also needs to learn to be held fully open for the duration - something the dildo does that the butt plug with its narrow neck does not do.
Lube. No such thing as too much when pegging.
Anal douche. Some people (including me) like to be totally clean for the even (can do without the tension that a possible accident adds to things.)
Start small. The first time I was pegged I thought I had been impaled on a small submarine!
Don't expect the massive orgasm first time. It takes time to become relaxed with the whole thing and start to concentrate on the really great sensations. To start with the sensations are all too unusual.
Communication. Make sure things proceed only as fast as the receiver wants. Its very easy to tense up if something is inserted too fast and that's when it hurts. Done right it does not hurt at all.
Gyrator53 wrote:
Emerald269 wrote:
If you or anyone have more details on pegging, would love to discuss more on here! Thank u both so much and have a lovely day! 😊😀😯😇
There is a lot to learn about pegging and you will find lots of info on this forum but let me just mention some things to consider:-
Butt plugs for anal training. I suggest getting a graded set so he can gradually learn to be comfortable with something in their for a reasonable length of time without instantly thinking of needing the loo. Also, inserting a butt plug briefly just before pegging is a good way to ease oneself for receiving a dildo (one also needs to learn to be held fully open for the duration - something the dildo does that the butt plug with its narrow neck does not do.
Lube. No such thing as too much when pegging.
Anal douche. Some people (including me) like to be totally clean for the even (can do without the tension that a possible accident adds to things.)
Start small. The first time I was pegged I thought I had been impaled on a small submarine!
Don't expect the massive orgasm first time. It takes time to become relaxed with the whole thing and start to concentrate on the really great sensations. To start with the sensations are all too unusual.
Communication. Make sure things proceed only as fast as the receiver wants. Its very easy to tense up if something is inserted too fast and that's when it hurts. Done right it does not hurt at all.
Emerald says;
Thanks for this information, great stuff! I have never used an anal douche, but it's reassuring to know that you can make urself fully clean in there before sex. My hubby will probably be more 'up for' doing anal on me if he knows I've used a douche! This is a really good recommendation.
I think I'll have to find a way of talking 2 hubby about using butt plugs on him. I love the idea of bringing it up during a sex game (as 'Horneehubby' mentioned). Sometimes it's difficult to talk confidently to OH about these subjects, especially when u can't predict their reaction!!?
I've got a 'mini' butt plug and also a medium to move onto when more experienced. I'm a way away from having a dildo up there, but am intrigued by glass dildo's and would love to try. I'm worried that the hardness and non-flexibility of the glass will be harsh inside me, whatever part it is inserted into. Does thrusting with glass dildo hurt if you are quite sensitive down there - vaginally or anally?
Thanks again. 😉
Emarld269
You a right, you never know the reaction when you broach something like this but go forwarned. Do a bit of research so you sound like you know what you are on about. Both men and women have senstive bums and both can be capable of enjoying it. Its not that messy but you can always take precautions.
Mention using a butt plug on him when you are having sex, something small to start with. offer to wear one yourself. Show him these forums!
Emerald269 wrote:
me, whatever part it is inserted into. Does thrusting with glass dildo hurt if you are quite sensitive down there - vaginally or anally?
I have used some stainless steel toys and had no issues with them. Obviously, as they have no 'give' they feel like they are slightly bigger than say a silicone one. Perhaps the main thing is that, because they don't bend they give a lot of side pressure if you try going in at an angle - can feel nice!
As for butt plugs they are something best experimented with when you have plenty of time. In trying to increase what you can take its good to lie down on your side, have loads of lube and just push in moderately with your knees drawn fairly well up. Breath in and tense your anus so as to push the plug out and then exhale while slightly pushing down as if "going" (some people describe this as "breathing out through your bum" which sounded whacky when I first heard it but actually it's a good description of what it feels like.
Eventually you will find that a plug you didn't think would go in at all is on the brink of going in. I guess a session a day for about an hour each time will see a significant change in 3 or 4 days. It's not that you are really stretching things it's just that you are learning to relax a muscle that isn't under your direct control.
Final thing - you asked about harnesses for men. I have two - an old leather one that I have had maybe 10 years and a SpareParts Deuce:-
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26580
The deuce is very good but I find the velcro waist-band creaks a but under tension which is a bit off-putting. Any 'two-strap' harness will generally be OK but the thong types obviously tend to cut dangling bit off!
Thank u 'Gyrator53', some really kind and helpful advice here. I'm so pleased to know that it does take a bit of practice to get used to new sensations such as anal. It's really good of u to state the best positions for practicing techniques and different 'mediums' of butt plugs and dildo's, and of course most importantly, lots of lube. I found reading ur post very informative and interesting, so thank you so much! Thanks for the links and explaining what harnesses u have, again very useful. Also, u stated about not actually 'stretching' things down there and that was one of the things I was concerned about. I guess as long as I keep everything toned, I will stay firm in that area! (much the same as using kegels to tone up the vagina).
Thanks again and have a nice evening! 😀
'illtakethehighroad', thanks for ur input. I like the ideas you have suggested about introducing this experience with my OH and of course doing research and showing him the forum posts. Everyone has helped so much on here! Thank you. 😊