I started off masturbating with the shower head and then I bought my first toy about two years ago (A small love egg type vibrator). I used to masturbate with it maybe once a week until we went into the first lockdown where I started using it everyday out or pure boredom!
Since then I have been masturbating everyday and with new editions to my toy collection including a magic wand I have been using much more powerful toys.
I have been finding that more and more it’s taking me longer and longer to finish. I’m not sure what could be causing this; maybe i’m masturbating too much, maybe I’m not horny enough, or maybe I have slightly desensitised myself. I have gone back and used that egg vibrator recently and now it does nothing for me (I used to hold it on my clit and could only last a minute or two, now it takes over 10 minutes!)
Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated as I do want to continue using my toys as I loved them so much but I do want to be able to enjoy them to the fullest and get the most out of them without feeling like it’s not doing much.
You’re going to want to edit this or it’ll get taken down. Just don’t specify ages, any reference to sexual acts and minors aren’t allowed (even if you are the minor in question) (The rest is completely fine i think and I’m sure you’ll be able to get some good advice about it)
Orgasms are as much mental as they are physical and when you start thinking about the time you are taking you stop focusing on the pleasure and then it does take you longer to orgasm.
Being turned on before starting can help and reduce the time it takes.
You can rely on a certain type of sex act or toy or power level and it will make you feel like you can’t orgasm any other way. It is reversible, but takes a little time. Basically you just need to mix up your masturbation techniques. Alternate your toys, use your fingers or the shower head or grinding against something.
Sometimes with toys, particularly first toys, they feel fantastic because it is such a new sensation. It almost forces the orgasm because your body doesn’t quite know what’s happening. As you explore different toys you find more what actually works for you, you may find the older toys in your collection don’t work as well as you remember. It isn’t quite that you are desensitised, more that you got over the initial reaction.
The only other thing I’d say is not to worry about how long it takes to orgasm. If you are enjoying the sensation, that’s all that matters. I get the “just need a quick release” type orgasm, but if you are masturbating because you are bored, why not just take the time? Keep the toys on low, tease and edge yourself, test out different positioning and patterns and forget the clock.
I’m really enjoying taking longer and longer to finish, if at all. I generally leave the head of my penis till last and start with a less sensitive area, hold a vibrator against my underwear, relax and concentrate on feeling the more gentle sensations, let the energy build up gradually, try to identify the differences between the various toys.
Might I suggest that you vary the toys or the vibrations and patterns you use when you masturbate so that you don’t get used to and dependent on one particular method. My wife will choose different toys on different days and change the speeds and patterns she uses to orgasm during any particular session. She has now developed amazing orgasm control and can come quickly or hold back for ages using any of the toys we have.
We’ve had similar experiences with a wand. Taking a break to explore other ways to enjoy and build anticipation helped & a few weeks without wandplay & it was as powerful as ever.
Thankyou for all of your comments and suggestions!
@Calie a lot of the time I am not really turned on and use masturbation as a way to turn me on. I am going to try and mix things up experimenting with different positions and switching between all my different toys. I have only been focusing on clit stimulations lately and haven’t used a dildo in while. I may try that again!
@Melody1 I currently am staying with my parents so can’t fully enjoy the experience as I’m constantly worried by parents will walk in. I do go back up to uni in March so when I go back I will be able to enjoy with out any distractions or fear of being walked in on (At uni the doors lock and no-one really bothers each other, if they want something they will text you )
@Serpentwand I do enjoy edging myself too. I feel that I usually end up with a much more powerful orgasm at the end. Hopefully I will be able to do this when I go back to uni.
@rockstar all of my vibration toys have different patterns but I tend to just use the single vibration modes. It’s probs a good idea for me to use some of the different patterns even if its just to tease myself as I find when using them after about 20 seconds I get so horny that I just want it to be full power so I can cum.
@unifex yeah I think I’m going to take a break from it and only use it when I’m with partners
@GoGirl12 Yeah I am deffo going to try masturbating less, it has become almost a ritual for me at night before I go to sleep. I have never been the sort of person to watch porn or read eroticas but I think I will give it a try.
I see you’ve gotten alot of answers, but I personally get desensitized after a few days of use with a strong vibration. Kinda like using a lawnmower and you can stop feeling your hands sometimes, if that makes any sense?
But anywho, like stated above with stimulating and rotation of toys that can do various speeds/patterns or thrusting should help. I find it’s easier if internal action takes place. Perhaps experiment during this time
I actually have the satisfier pro which I bough a couple months ago and it is hands down one of my fav toys, I do have to be careful tho as it does work pretty fast and then afterwards I am very sensitive, even when putting my underwear back on. Would deffo recommend it to anyone looking for a new type of clit stimulations. xx
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