Thanks Cazz. I would have never found that link again! Since my advice on the deep throating is in the other thread, I shall give advice on the time it takes him to orgasm.
First, a few questions. Is it only during blowjobs that he takes a long time, or does he go for hours no matter what stimulation you give? Also, have you spoke to him to find out if he is purposely holding back, or if he just can't tip over? Lastly, does he masturbate a lot?
So why I asked those three questions:
1) Some guys think that to be amazing in bed, they must last for hours on end. They believe this is studly and "What women want" (Some do, most don't as you have experienced, it gets painful! Not just for blowjobs, but for sex too.) If he is holding it back purposefully, you can solve all your problems right now and ask him to not do that. If you think he may take offense to your asking, just explain to him that some women LIKE it when their guy orgasms quick. It is the ultimate compliment and turn on, to know they lost control around you and were so aroused.
2) Masturbating often CAN cause two problems. (Not always, but it is quite common) The first problem is death drip and becoming accustomed to the feel of his hand. This is very similar to the female equivelent of being unable to orgasm from fingers or oral sex, if they get too accustomed to using powerful vibrators. The same can happen with men. They get used to the harder squeezing and more intensity that their hand provides and then they cannot quite reach orgasm from softer sensations, like oral. The second problem that can happen is just not being quite as horny. I mean, there must be some truth in the age old advice given to men: "Masturbate before a date, this way, when you have sex, you will last longer"
Depending on what the problem is, it can be solved in different ways. If it is the first one, where he is purposely holding back, to be the stud, then you can either have an open discussion with him, explaining that holding back might be sexy for some women, but you really get turned on by the idea that he loses control around you. Being completely controlled in bed is not a massive turn on for me. I once dated a guy who could go for hours and cum on cue when he decided. I was thoroughly bored. Some of us women want it to be spontanteous and want our guys to just relax and go with it. Letting us blow their minds and letting us have the honour of taking their control away. If yu can put this across to him in some way that he won't take offense to, hopefully he won't try to hold it for hours.
If it is the second issue, he will probably need to stop masturbating. Yup! He will need to train his body to get used to gentler sensations. I and others gave lots of advice on this, in this thread here:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/880492-how-to-please-a-hard-to-please-man/#p880538
There is also a third option that is causing it. Pressure or stress. Eg: Performance anxiety. If this is a reasonably new relationship, or if he is quite an insecure person regarding his bedroom skills, it is possible that he is working himself up with anxiety to be good in bed, that he is just not relaxing enough. This causes him to take a long time. If it is this one, then reassurance, time and understanding + communication should help
The final reason for this happening is that he just naturally takes this long. As a female, I take, on average, 20 minutes to reach orgasm. When I was on medication I took longer.(About 30 mins) I have to be EXCEPTIONALLY horny to be able to reach orgasm any quicker than 20 minutes. That is just my standard. While most men tend to be much quicker than us females, there are still some men out there who can have a standard of 20 mins, 30 mins or even an hour. You will know if this is the case, if he ALWAYS takes 30 mins, no matter what the stimulation is, even when he masturbates. (This is the one that will give you the most clues to his average)
How to solve achy jaw? Two ways! First of all, keep giving blowjobs. I am in a D/s relationship and part of our dynamic involves a lot of tease and denial. This means I actually CHOOSE to give him blowjobs that can sometimes last up to two hours. I can only do this by A) Doing it a lot (I notice if I have a long break from it, my jaw hurts the next time, whereas if I do it regular, I have no pain. I guess its like training a muscle) secondly, and most importantly, I take my time. There is no way I could give a 2 hour blowjob if I was bobbing up and down speedily. I would be knackered. I prefer giving long, slow, sensual blow jobs. When I first met my partner and used this techniue on him, he could not orgasm and sometimes he even went soft! He had got used to needing more stimulation, so I had to go faster if I wanted him to orgasm and often I felt like he was pushing, or forcing himself to orgasm. (He was not relaxed) and that kinda sucked (pun lol) I cannot pin point what changed, I think he just got more comfortable in bed with me, more relaxed and over time, he broke that need for intense, hard stimulation. Now I can get him to the edge of orgasm without barely moving. Just a teasing blow job. What I am trying to say is, it takes a while to get rid of the need for intense hand jobs to finish and it takes a while to learn to relax.
A lot of our ability to be able to orgasm, is in the mind. People who have premature ejaculation say that it is brought on more by worry and thinking about it (Mind) I have had mental blocks that have stopped me reaching orgasm (mind) there are men who can focus on something else, to control their orgasms (mind)
Which leads me to believe that things can change, if the mind is in a different head space. If he is not worrying, controlling it, thinking about it, feeling pressure and all the other reasons our orgasms can be effected.
Anyway, gunna stop now....this is another essay, but I hope it helps somehow. x Good luck xx
