Hi
The last time I gave my boyfriend oral sex it lasted forever, he eventually got there, but ever since I have been really reluctant to do it again, through fear I'm gonna get it wrong!!! he hasn't asked or suggested it either!! I want to take the lead but I'm scared to, I'm very self conscious anyway, but the longer I leave it the worse it's gonna get!!
I need some advice on how to take the lead with this and stop being so worried about it!!
He could just not be a fan of oral sex in general. Contrary to what some people would have you believe, not all men are gagging for blowjobs. Some men also find it incredibly hard to orgasm as the sensation isn't exactly what they need to get off.
In your last thread you pretty much identified exactly why it took so long for your partner to orgasm; you changed up your technique just as something you had been doing would have tipped him over the edge. The easy solution to this is either 1. get him to communicate, have him tell you when something is getting him close so you don't change what you're doing (literally just gasping 'don't stop' will work) or 2. try a simpler blow job in general, so you're not trying out every technique in one go but just one or two things over and over so even if he fails to communicate again chances are you won't switch out what you're doing at the wrong time.
You could also take the pressure off both of you by making oral sex part of your foreplay, not the main event. There's no rule that says a good blow job has to result in him orgasming through just the oral sex, having a little oral then moving on to your regular sexual activities would lessen the anxiety to perform for both of you and allow you to build your confidence as you're giving him oral but without the pressure to make him orgasm.
So really, I guess my advice for taking the lead would be next time you're in the mood to have sex give him just enough oral sex to get him hard/wet then sit on him and have sex as normal :)
Great advice lovebird :)
For me bjs are usually the main event just foreplay, if he's taking a while either have him help out or give him a handjob while sucking his tip too :) works well for us
Lovebirds_x wrote:
He could just not be a fan of oral sex in general. Contrary to what some people would have you believe, not all men are gagging for blowjobs. Some men also find it incredibly hard to orgasm as the sensation isn't exactly what they need to get off.
In your last thread you pretty much identified exactly why it took so long for your partner to orgasm; you changed up your technique just as something you had been doing would have tipped him over the edge. The easy solution to this is either 1. get him to communicate, have him tell you when something is getting him close so you don't change what you're doing (literally just gasping 'don't stop' will work) or 2. try a simpler blow job in general, so you're not trying out every technique in one go but just one or two things over and over so even if he fails to communicate again chances are you won't switch out what you're doing at the wrong time.
You could also take the pressure off both of you by making oral sex part of your foreplay, not the main event. There's no rule that says a good blow job has to result in him orgasming through just the oral sex, having a little oral then moving on to your regular sexual activities would lessen the anxiety to perform for both of you and allow you to build your confidence as you're giving him oral but without the pressure to make him orgasm.
So really, I guess my advice for taking the lead would be next time you're in the mood to have sex give him just enough oral sex to get him hard/wet then sit on him and have sex as normal :)
+1 I agree with what Lovebirds has said.
When my Mrs started doing BJs on me and like yourself she wasn't confident she slipped a blindfold on me. This way I couldn't see her looking worriedor fumbling about and also wearing a blindfold intesifies all the touches.
If you want to try this ,talk to your guy first and make sure he's OK about it. Blindfolds are easily improvised as well from everyday things such as scarves etc.
I did this at first too, except we didnt have a blindfold so I throw a pillow at him lol, but it made me much more comfortable :)
I did the blind fold thing last time....I like the idea of incorporating it into the whole thing, which IV done before number pus occasions BUT that last time just put me off it at all because I was just so scared about getting it wrong!!!
Dont wprry about doing things wrong if he doesnt the way your doing things im sure he'll tell you, if you really worried just ask him what works for him as him to help you etc :) and just slowly experiment with movements my bf particularly loves me to give him a hand job or while his doing it himself to lick, suck etc his tip n play with his balls while his close x
JTrent1985 wrote:
I did the blind fold thing last time....I like the idea of incorporating it into the whole thing, which IV done before number pus occasions BUT that last time just put me off it at all because I was just so scared about getting it wrong!!!
Well that is the whole idea of using the blindfold so he can't see you which should give you more confidence. Why not keep asking, say something like " does that feel good?" or "how does that feel" Obviously you wil have to stop to ask the questions which could also add an element of tease as well .You will probably sense at the point he is about to ejaculate , curling toes stiffening of body are key clues. at that point withdraw and ask the questions and tease. Teasing will give you more confidence as well and keep you in control .
I am pretty sure he will enjoy everyone of your delicate touches .
Give it a go ! Stop worrying ! :)
Also just to add. If its the taste of having his member in your mouth isn't quite to your liking and this is putting you off a little , don't forget you can get flavoured waterbased lubes from Lovehoney .
I like spreading strawberry flavoured lube over my Mrs when giving her oral to counteract the bitter coffee taste and smell ( big coffee drinker ) .Of course I don't tell her its for that reason .
Strawbeery lube is nice actually, I also reviewed the jo peppermint arousal gel for lovehoney and thats strong n tasty but please dont put to much on as I think it could become over powering, little goes a long way!
The senses are important in blowjobs I feel. Good eye contact from the female, get it wet and sloppy and make some noise, don't forget to use your hands as well and communicate in between licks/sucks/strokes. Show him you love doing it as much as he enjoys receiving and you will blow the top off it in no time 
I spend lots of time on the head of the penis licking and using my lips to gently suck it. It's nice also to have your balls played with and I personally like my bum hole tickled and when I'm really turned on I like it fingered.
I also take a longer time to orgasm through oral than with actual sex I love watching someone give my cock the treatment. I hope this rambling helps.
For me the position makes a massive difference. With the Mrs between my legs it feels great, but it's hard for me to cum, yet in the 69 position she can make me come in no time. She doesn't do anything different it's just that the position puts the pressure on all the right spots.
But to back up what others have said, work it with the hand too and play with the balls. Also, dressing sexy makes a massive difference for me.
It's all just a learning curve, just cos you don't make him blow his load in 2 min doesn't mean it's not driving him wild. Sometimes things feel amazing but just not in a way that makes you wanna cum, and in some ways that's better as it lasts longer!
I have to say by far the easier pest way of getting back your confidence is to use oral as a tease.
For example, he gets up to make a coffee, you brush against him, bend over and flash your knickers, then just a little blow job to get him really hard, then pinch his bottom and run off upstairs, he will be in hot pursuit!
I read in a book where the female lead character said "The true way to a man's heart is not through his stomach but with his cock in your mouth and your finger up his arse."
Suck it and see 
With my OH it depends which room we're in, if I give him oral in the bedroom he won't cum however if we're downstairs on the couch then he cums every time! The turn on for him is because my couch is by the window and people walk past the window so the naughty factor is what does it for him, we've also had full sex on the couch and again he's cum 😀
My wife will only kiss ( nearest to blow job that she's got ) when I have a condom on. This reduces the sensitivity. I often struggle to come with this, however if she kneels up so I can play with her cunt then wow. . I feel her juices flow, and I play with the swan s vibrator on her clit. She's not keen on vibrators, but wow it turns me on, i then have to decide to come or make love . . its great
Though
I think for you, feeling your desire or juices, or porn on the tv will help your partner explode . .
As for me. . I'd love to know how to persuade her that the idea of blow jobs is not so disgusting.
Regards
Angus
Also, I wouldn't get hung up on 'completion' - I love receiving oral, but for me it's not really the right sort of stimulation to get me to orgasm so it's really just a great part of foreplay.
I absolutely love the wife giving me a blow job. However this always leads to sex, i get far too horny while this is happening and would not be able to wait for her to finish me off that way. Each person is different !!