Help! How do you keep up?

Off-Topic Chat
1

I'm new here and really enjoying browsing posts and am starting to post myself - but how the hell do you keep up with everything? I have no idea who's replied to my responses, if I've had a reply to my thread, people have added me (thank you), but I can't see a way to message them (so what's the point of adding a friend?!). I live and breathe on another social media platform so I don't want to make comparrisions, but I am frustrated that I can't interact in a way in which I am accustomed.

Am I missing something? Is there a way to switch on notifications so I am aware at least when someone has replied to me? I have seen there is a track on my account of where I have posted - am I just being lazy and spoilt by other sites?!

2

LH is just a bit more restrictive, it wasnt always so and problems arose. Because of the nature of the site and the type of attention it garners, PM's are intentionally disallowed to avoid it becoming a hookup site and worse.

If you want to see if anyone has replied you can go through your account profile and look up your recent threads or just browse the forum to see recent posts you havent read yet, there is no direct notification system, but then the forum doesnt move that fast compared to some others I visit so its not too bad. 

It is less social than LH but ultimately we are mostly here to discuss toys and sex, not build relationships etc. . .

3

That's absolutely fine and clarifies my thoughts as to how the forums work! Thank you. I'm not looking to build relationships but was confused as to why I could be friended but not messaged. I've already gained a lot of advice and hints and tricks while just reading, but while I've been browsing have gotten the distinct impression some members know each other well and I wondered whether that was through messaging.

4

I normally go onto my profile page and then click through the posts I commented on last :)

5

Elsie-Jay wrote:

That's absolutely fine and clarifies my thoughts as to how the forums work! Thank you. I'm not looking to build relationships but was confused as to why I could be friended but not messaged. I've already gained a lot of advice and hints and tricks while just reading, but while I've been browsing have gotten the distinct impression some members know each other well and I wondered whether that was through messaging.

Typical, just noticed Typo in my post, smh.

Anyway, regarding the friend thing, I also kind of wonder at the point of it tbh. I’m not aware of any benefit.

6

I used to wonder about that too, but if you’re friends with someone they appear in your friends list on your profile and it’s a quick way to find them. It’s useful if you like the way someone reviews, and saves you having to search for their profile. You can go to your account, click on their profile and check for any new reviews they’ve written.

But there’s no way of personal messaging, that needs to be done on a different platform.

Hope that helps!

8

Elsie-Jay,

I know what you mean. I am regular member, although I did take some breaks over the years. Its hard for me, since I normally dont have much time, apart from evenings - I dont go on LH at work, not even during my lunch break, and I have other hobbies as well.

It is easier now, since I have to spend most of my day inside, since I am fighting for my eye and I am on sick leave. I still find it harder at times, because I dont want to spend too much time in front of my laptop. And when I am in front of it, I often use it to study Spanish - once I win over this crappy eye infection and recover, I plan to go back to Costa Rica and be able to speak more than I did the last time I was there!

As result, I generally do not post in the fast going topics and focus more on discussing certain topic and advice threats. But yes, it is hard, especially if you like to discuss something with someone and you need to keep track of it. Going on my profile and selecting the last message is the easiest way to do it.

But yes, lot of people are not regular posters and many give up, because they have other obligations, friends, family and hobbies...

9

I often multitask (albeit, poorly) so I have the forum open in my browser when I'm doing other things. So I keep an eye on threads of interest. I'm not sure I keep up, but once I post in each thread I don't post there again. I accept I may have missed replies and comments directed at me - however, the community is such a lovely bunch of folk I know I'll catch up with them in other threads at a later date.

10

I take a look when I’m in bed.

11

Alicia4Ever wrote:

Elsie-Jay wrote:

That's absolutely fine and clarifies my thoughts as to how the forums work! Thank you. I'm not looking to build relationships but was confused as to why I could be friended but not messaged. I've already gained a lot of advice and hints and tricks while just reading, but while I've been browsing have gotten the distinct impression some members know each other well and I wondered whether that was through messaging.

There is not much in the way of conversation on the threads, but you can end up responding to other posters several times on some threads, so after a while it does kind of seem like you know each other to newcomers, but the main way people tend to end up getting to know each other a bit, is through the "rant" thread. if you have a read at it you will see why.

https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/1527023-get-it-all-out-thread-warning-rants-will/page-198/

Also if you ask for help, like now, people will respond, and you can make a connection with someone who goes out of their way to help you, you can end up replying to each other several times, as they ask for more info, so they can better help you. At that such times one or the other clicks the request a friend.

But you also get many people who come on and just friend request people they have not had any kind of post responses from; to which I don't respond, as it makes me feel uncomfortable.

So it takes a bit of time to get to know regular posters, many people come on and post a few times and are never heard from again, there are not many regular posters. and every so often a number of regulars just stop posting, for one reason or another; most of the time you never get to know why they stopped.

I don't post as often as I used to, as many of my "friends" have gone, or post infrequently; that and I'm going through a bit of a tough time personally, as a trans woman.

Alicia4Ever wrote:

Elsie-Jay wrote:

That's absolutely fine and clarifies my thoughts as to how the forums work! Thank you. I'm not looking to build relationships but was confused as to why I

There is not much in the way of conversation on the threads, but you can end up responding to other posters several times on some threads, so after a while it does kind of seem like you know each other to newcomers, but the main way people tend to end up getting to know each other a bit, is through the "rant" thread. if you have a read at it you will see why.

https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/1527023-get-it-all-out-thread-warning-rants-will/page-198/

Also if you ask for help, like now, people will respond, and you can make a connection with someone who goes out of their way to help you, you can end up replying to each other several times, as they ask for more info, so they can better help you. At that such times one or the other clicks the request a friend.

But you also get many people who come on and just friend request people they have not had any kind of post responses from; to which I don't respond, as it makes me feel uncomfortable.

So it takes a bit of time to get to know regular posters, many people come on and post a few times and are never heard from again, there are not many regular posters. and every so often a number of regulars just stop posting, for one reason or another; most of the time you never get to know why they stopped.

I don't post as often as I used to, as many of my "friends" have gone, or post infrequently; that and I'm going through a bit of a tough time personally, as a trans woman.

I too don't like new people immediately friend requesting me, I look at their profile number of posts whether they've joined years ago and not posted anything, reviewed anything etc