my SO and i have been talking and found out we both really want more dirty talk in the bedroom but both feel awkward about it as we feel silly when we do it and dont know what to say can anyone help us please
It's only been recently that I have managed to talk about sex openly, massive thank you to LoveHoney for that, when it comes to talking dirty I just can't. Like you say it feels a bit silly and awkward. We did try maybe 8 or so years ago, we got blind drunk thinking it would help. From what we remember he called me his b****, I cried and went to bed while he slept on the couch. We were mortified in the morning. So maybe DON'T try it that way, ease into it gently. Do you send dirty messages? It could be a good starting point.
Dirty talk is wonderful! ;-) many, many years ago (more than I care to think about actually!) I worked on a chatline and absolutely loved it. I've always been lucky enough to have grilfreinds and lovers who like to express themselves. Once the initial barrier about what is acceptable between two people as "dirty talk" then it can be sensational.
Is there anyhting sexier than whispering into someones ear something that you know will turn them on an vice versa?
And of course in the modern age with text, whatsapp etc it can go further, a little naughhty whatsapping when apart can set the scene for some fabulous sex when you get to each other in the flesh! ;-)
I am now an addicted whatsapper! ;-) things have certainly moved on since the 0898 monstrous phone bill days ;-)
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Cx
It's tough if you don't feel confident doing it I think there are some other threads about talking dirty that might help.
It's definitely a confidence thing.maybe start with texting or email or writing letter to your oh.tell them what you would like or like to do to them.
If it's something you would like,take your time it will come as your confidence grows.
Dirty talk is wonderful! ;-) many, many years ago (more than I care to think about actually!) I worked on a chatline and absolutely loved it. I've always been lucky enough to have grilfreinds and lovers who like to express themselves. Once the initial barrier about what is acceptable between two people as "dirty talk" then it can be sensational.
Is there anyhting sexier than whispering into someones ear something that you know will turn them on an vice versa?
And of course in the modern age with text, whatsapp etc it can go further, a little naughhty whatsapping when apart can set the scene for some fabulous sex when you get to each other in the flesh! ;-)
I am now an addicted whatsapper! ;-) things have certainly moved on since the 0898 monstrous phone bill days ;-)
Apologies to admin for the initial posting of this , I wasnt sure what you could or could not post,
thanks
Cx
RosyCheek wrote:
It's only been recently that I have managed to talk about sex openly, massive thank you to LoveHoney for that, when it comes to talking dirty I just can't. Like you say it feels a bit silly and awkward. We did try maybe 8 or so years ago, we got blind drunk thinking it would help. From what we remember he called me his b****, I cried and went to bed while he slept on the couch. We were mortified in the morning. So maybe DON'T try it that way, ease into it gently. Do you send dirty messages? It could be a good starting point.
we do indeed send text to each other when we feel roudy when were apart but it rarely goes into what we want to do to eachother just letting eachother know as a tease, but will definatly try this more often and hopefully start bringing it into the bedroom, hopefully as you said this will make us more confident in doing it in person
thank you so much for the advice guys it really does help :)
It is a difficult thing to do if you don't feel confident or silly doing so, I am the same, I can't do it during sex as I get embarrased or say something that I don't think is dirty enough. I found starting out with a text or suggestive photo with a caption is a good way to ease into it, at first you feel silly but the reaction from your OH does help build your confidence to do it and it might help you build up to do it over the phone or in person, it did for me anyway.
If you want to do it i person, I agree with CharlieDickens, whispering something into your OH ear is a good place to start, I've done it a few times and haven't felt as silly. I hope this helps in some way ^_^
I know it does sound a little like stating the bleedin' obvious, ;-) ;-) but at the end of it all sme people are more comfortable than others doing it.
But if you can articulate your feelings into words and share that then it does add another facet to a nice and sexy relationship
Cx
I've done this in the past but my current partner feels too awkward to do it. When I started doing it before I was in a long distance relationship that involved a lot of sexting and phone sex. A few things I found useful:
1. Discuss terms you are happy with using and terms that are a no no. Obviously I can't write all the smutty words and swears on here, but it's good to discuss with your partner what they are comfortable with and what you are comfortable with so you don't inavertantly upset or turn off the other person (e.g. I had a partner who hated the word "arse" haha).
2. If you're trying to encourge someone to feel comforable talking dirty, it's easier for them if you ask them questions (e.g. "what does that feel like?" , "do you like it when I do X"), it will feel a lot more natureal to them than demanding "talk dirty to me!"
3. If you're the one who would like to talk dirty but feels self conscious, start off during foreplay by simiply describing what is happening to you and how it feels. It's a really simple way to ease into it in a situation where you feel turned on already. Then you can move on to expressing what you would like to do / be done to you and situations, and take it elsewhere.
Hope this is helpful, have fun! :)