I've always been put off by the thought of anal. I've tried it once with my ex partner but hated the sensation, but it was just a one off "let's do it" thing, which involved no build up. My current partner and I are starting off with it, as he's never tried it before either and fingers feel really nice, and help me reach orgasm much quicker as I struggle because of past experiences. The only problem is, as soon as it comes to anal sex, it hurts like hell! It's like past a few inches he reaches a wall that just makes me howl with pain, no matter how slowly he goes.
I can cope with most things but when it comes to his dick I just can't hack it! Any advice? he's feeling a little down about the fact we can't have anal sex and can only use small toys or fingers.
Yeah you certainly need to work up to a penis very slowly. This could take weeks months even so you both just have to be patient. Also use plenty of anal lube. You will get there eventually.
I think lots of people will tell you to build up to it, start small (you say you've already done fingers), then try plugs, there are plenty of beginers sets you can try that have plugs building up in size.
Also Relaxation and lube are key.
You can also get tunnels, not used one myself but that might be a good stepping stone, as it could protect you from the prodding
This is on offer at the moment so you get 50% off.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22287
Use plenty of good quality anal lubricant, this will provide a cushioning effect and make it more comfortable for you. You can wear these around the house, some people even wear them out shopping or at work! Or you can just use them during sex, so you still get the sensation that you're looking for, until you've stretched a bit and can work up to anal sex.
I think this will be the best option for you, there's plenty of other training sets that you can get so have a look around and see what you like.
I provided the link above because it's cheap, good quality and on offer, but this set also looks really good! http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28565
And I love the colour of this little set http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=27192
I hope that helps :)
Im suprised nobody has said to try this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14522
My wife had a lot of trouble too at 1st, work up in size slowly (over a matter of weeks) & try to relax a lil bit. A massage using http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26221 (about 40 minutes) will help you relax. The oil is edible too so licking it off is quite nice :)
Butt plugs are ok for the more practiced/experienced, but if you're having trouble they may be too 'girthy'. Have you tried http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2041 gently with the nobbly end until you get used to it, then try the other end slowly & gently & don't insert more than you're comfy with.
Best advice I have take it nice and slow , lube lube lube , start off small and dont get eyes bigger than your belly .
LH have a great buyers guide -http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/
I started off with http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13085
Then got a butt plug so you are used to slipping something inside you - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053 or you could buy a kit and work your way up - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3539
I then got a douche - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=952 dead easy to use and simple and makes you clean esp when your using bigger toys as I worked my way up to an anal dildo to get to used to the fact that he will be inside me - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16726
Then I brought http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17072 to fill what it will be like,
Honestly try it slow if you enjoy it you enjoy it its not for everyone, dont put any pressure on yourself slow and lube it taken me about 6 months to work my way up, just taken it at my own pace.
How does he feel about anal? If you can be working on getting a strapon the size of your man's penis in him, you can share the process. It's not gay but there are lots of nerve endings in there, so it can be really good for both of you.
And yes, lube, lube and more lube!