Hi just after some advice. I'm heterosexual and in a committed relationship. We're both open about our wants ect and I have mentioned before that I'd like to have gay sex as I want to try is and find women really stimulating. It's not been mentioned for a while now but it's something I really want now but I don't quite know how to broach the subject with my partner or how I'd go about finding a nice person ect to see how the friendship ect develops. All my friends are quite anti gay so introductions could be hard and I'm Not sure I'd want them knowing.
Do you want gay sex with just you and another woman or a threesome with your OH? What about swingers websites? Rather than making friends with someone and then asking her for sex?
To be honest I'd rather it just be me and a girl than a threesome. I think a threesome is totally different and although I'd like to try it someday I really want sec with a girl. That's why I'm a bit dubious about telling my oh as I think he might assume I want a threesome.
Hi there, I have found an old thread which may be useful to have a read through :) xx
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/486774-bi-curious/
I'd be careful, since you say it hasn't been mentioned for a while perhaps your partner wasn't so keen for you to go off with someone else? Being open about your desires and allowing your partner to sleep with someone else are totally different, and often you don't realise how damaging it is until after it actually happens. Is it really worth the potential after effects to your current relationship to explore this curiosity? Just think; if you told him you wanted to have sex with another man and him to have nothing to do with it, would he be ok with that? Just because it is a woman you'd like to sleep with doesn't make a difference. It is still sleeping with another person, and pushing him out of it may make him feel insecure.
I may be on the wrong page here but just putting it out there! Not trying to be preachy, it's just something that I've seen happen before and it's ruined relationships.
Just talk to him about it, what's the worst thing that can happen? Then you can worry about how to go about finding someone :)
I'd say if you're seriously considering going 'off-piste' then you need to discuss this with your OH!
Cheating's cheating, no matter what the genital arrangement is.
Totally agree with lovebirds, a threesome is a couple experimenting with their fantasies, by raising this with your OH he may feel as though he's not enough. I'm bi and when I told my OH his first question was whether or not I'd want to have a relationship with a woman and him, this is because of past experiences with a bi woman who wanted exactly that, it made him feel pushed out and inadequate.
I have a friend through twitter who allows his wife to do this regularly though, if you have twitter I could give you his name?
Also, if he asked you to let him go sleep with another woman how would you feel?
Hmm... Same kind of situation here. Nearly married to my bloke, but i defiantly am interested in trying with a women, just once, I feel like I'm missing out on something at the moment! Is this bad?!
My OH is bi had her gay experiences with her best friend before we got together and even though they are still best mates she says that the experimental part of her life is done now we're together, I'm quite happy with that and find it quite a turn on to know she's bi but that doesn't mean I'd be happy if she asked me if they could sex again as I'd feel she wasn't happy with us, also if I found out they'd slept together with out me knowing I would definitely class that as cheating.
Just be careful how you go about and ask yourself why you need to do it if you are in a good solid relationship.
It could go both ways though, I'd be quite happy for my OH to have sex with a woman (but not a romantic relationship).
Just talk to him and see where he stands.
Lovebirds_x wrote:
I'd be careful, since you say it hasn't been mentioned for a while perhaps your partner wasn't so keen for you to go off with someone else? Being open about your desires and allowing your partner to sleep with someone else are totally different, and often you don't realise how damaging it is until after it actually happens. Is it really worth the potential after effects to your current relationship to explore this curiosity? Just think; if you told him you wanted to have sex with another man and him to have nothing to do with it, would he be ok with that? Just because it is a woman you'd like to sleep with doesn't make a difference. It is still sleeping with another person, and pushing him out of it may make him feel insecure.
I may be on the wrong page here but just putting it out there! Not trying to be preachy, it's just something that I've seen happen before and it's ruined relationships.
Just talk to him about it, what's the worst thing that can happen? Then you can worry about how to go about finding someone :)
Totally agree and that's what I'm a little worried about, I'd be upset if it was an outright no but I'd prefer it to if he said it was ok and he wasn't. It's a difficult one...
We both said we'd like to have a threesome one day but I dunno I feel like I'd like to try having sex with a girl first before having an audience ect lol
A man saying he'd like a threesome is completely different to allowing you to have sex with someone else. You know him better than us but I really don't think it's a good thing to ask, you could end up really hurting him.
I don't know about other guys but I wouldn't be happy at all about it, in fact I'd say it'd warrant a permanent split from my point of view.
I know if my man asked to sleep with another man or woman, especially if he'd already chosen who
1. It'd break my heart
2. I'd have to leave him
there are so many other alternatives, like a threesome, or a doll, or a toy, and he's just jumped straight to sleeping with someone else?
me and my OH do have very straight morals in terms of what is classed as cheating, for us, even considering and wanting to sleep with someone else is cheating, but every relationship is different
FreeSingle&ReadyToTingle wrote:
Lovebirds_x wrote:
I'd be careful, since you say it hasn't been mentioned for a while perhaps your partner wasn't so keen for you to go off with someone else? Being open about your desires and allowing your partner to sleep with someone else are totally different, and often you don't realise how damaging it is until after it actually happens. Is it really worth the potential after effects to your current relationship to explore this curiosity? Just think; if you told him you wanted to have sex with another man and him to have nothing to do with it, would he be ok with that? Just because it is a woman you'd like to sleep with doesn't make a difference. It is still sleeping with another person, and pushing him out of it may make him feel insecure.
I may be on the wrong page here but just putting it out there! Not trying to be preachy, it's just something that I've seen happen before and it's ruined relationships.
Just talk to him about it, what's the worst thing that can happen? Then you can worry about how to go about finding someone :)
Totally agree and that's what I'm a little worried about, I'd be upset if it was an outright no but I'd prefer it to if he said it was ok and he wasn't. It's a difficult one...
We both said we'd like to have a threesome one day but I dunno I feel like I'd like to try having sex with a girl first before having an audience ect lol
You may find yourself having to accept that serious relationship=experimenting days are over!
If you haven't already had the conversation, I would give some more thought to the threesome route (bearing in mind it still has the potential for a lot of jealousy). You could always think of a playful situation to talk over with him, where (all pre-planned of course!) he comes home to find you in bed with a strange (obviously pre-arranged) woman, at which point he gets to join in. You can incorperate various fantasies into the situation (voyeurism, two girls on one dick, double penetration etc etc), but ultimately it means you get a little time to play alone with the girl before he gets in on the action. I'd also suggest letting him have as much control as you with picking your play mate.
However, if he isn't into the idea of threesome I wouldn't push him to let you do it on your own anyway. I know it seems new and exciting, but sex with a girl is still just sex!
From our/my experience this is how we got into swinging.. We'd always joked about a threesome with another man and he expressed quite a lot that he would like to see it so when he was away one weekend he brought it up again.
At first i was a little put off but when he came home we both looked into it, planned and talked lots and then took the pludge so to speak. I'm not going to sugar coat it, the very first time we did it it was incredibly difficult, i felt guilty after and he felt jealous but 3 years later we've had some mind blowing experiences with other couples, females and males. We are even stronger now than before we started and the love we have for each other especially afterwards is like nothing else.
Only you know how he's going to react and what your relationship can take but if you do decide, really think about it as a couple beforehand and talk lots and lots. From what you've said about the threesome talking he could be quite open to it, i really wouldn't suggest doing it on your own though i think you have to include him in some way to make him feel part of this whether this from letting him just watch the both of you but from what youv'e said about him getting upset about hearing your feelings makes me think again.. Good luck
from angem as a girl tell him your intentions and you will explain in detail your experience it would turn my hammersin on and he would prove he was better at arrousing me almost a challenge id definetly enjoy him trying trouble is he would probably want to watch
do want you want but b honest
allmost forgot welcome to my freinds list
If its something you are both happy with then do it set your bounder's and enjoy. We do and love it the whole swinging thing xx
If he's OK with it, give it a try, it's probably easier for him knowing it's with a girl rather than another bloke.
My wife! reckons I would like gay male sex, she's probably right, but I could not do the kissing on the lips part, only sex, not that, that will ever happen, I think.