I sometimes get it into my head that I need to leave my hubby, it's been popping in and out for years. I thought things were picking up recently. I even felt like the first love you have with someone but he is going backover again and I don't want to get to the stage of hating him again.
Since we got back into sex, we were both a lot happier, calmer, he was like me to start with wanting it all the time but I suppose it has been dwindling down with him and he is changing. Snapping at the slightest thing even if there is nothing wrong. He even turned down sex because he had just made two cuppas and didn't want it going cold, couldn't even tempt him. wow he prefers his tea. Well if he doesn't want sex so be it. I can always get more toys, it;s just his attitude. Would be good if he could say something nice to me. but he never does.
I'm at a loss at what to do anymore, I can't afford to leave him but for my own sanity I don't want to be with him when he is like this. .We have been married for 29yr and never been with anyone else. I would prefer to keep going with him. Though temptation is lingering.
I feel tired and I'm not eating properly and feel so down at the moment.
His uncle has just died, so I don;t want to put anything extra on him but I need to do something. I just don't know what to do.
.so sorry everyone, I thought if I got it off my chest I might feel a bit better.
I know where you are coming from and I am in that situation right now. We have made a decision now that we both agree on. If you want a chat or just to talk things over then feel free. I have added you as friend.
29 years is a long time, is a weekend away a possibility ? All the so called experts seem to agree that a change of scenery and atmosphere is conducive to good communication. Getting away just for two nights forgetting about work or other stressful things might just help you both to remember just why you have invested 29 yrs in each other.
I've been considering leaving my boyfriend of 5 years- I can understand how much of a mess your head must be in now.
My situation isn't really anything like yours- my boyfriend is very loving and hasn't done anything wrong, its more of a personal thing of me feeling like I've drifted away from him. I've decided to stay and wait til the new year before I do someting I might regret.
Do you have kids that live with you, or any serious commitments like that?
Stay strong, don't lose your head :) Whatever you decide, I hope everything turns out for the best xx
Hubby and I very rarely have matched sex drives, one of us pretty much always ends up being frustrated (currently me). I once went through a really bad patch where he'd be well up for it and I wouldn't. I refused to have sex with him a lot and wouldn't even give him a hand job. For about a year we only did it once a month. I was just so run down, tired and didn't feel at all sexy. I've told him that if I'm ever like that again to slap me! I don't ever want to go back to that place.
I think all the advice you've been given so far is brilliant. It's only been 3 months since my girlfriend (whom I believed was my soulmate) left me. We fit together perfectly in every single way, emotionally, personality, sexually.... it was beyound amazing. But one day she just told me that she didn't feel the same way about me anymore. She still loved me, and would miss me but she couldn't be with me. Yup.... it hurt like hell, and still does tbh. But you know.... whats most important is that she's happy. And if I couldn't make her happy anymore, for whatever reason, then she deserves to be with someone who does, and so do I. Life is to short for us to waste.
So I suggest you have a chat with your husband and tell him exactly how you feel. The whole truth and see if you can work it out. If you can't.... then as much as it may hurt, it may be best to part company for both your sakes. You both deserve to be happy at the end of the day. Now.... my advice may be completley wrong, but I hope it helps. I really hope things work out for you both. x x
I remember you mentioned that your hubby suffered from ED which makes me wonder if he is under too much stress to function normally. I went through a time where sex was the last thing I wanted or could have managed - I just wanted to work and dig myself out of a huge hole the company was in - we had a big contract that looked like it was going totally tits up and the customer was going to sue the hell out of us - I didn't want to talk to my wife about it as there was no point in us both worrying if we were going to loose everything. It wasn't until afterwards I could explain why I had been in such a bad mood.
But just a contradiction, 29 years is a long time, you should try to hold onto that and sort out your problems. (You NEED to just talk to him, tell him how you feel, and be nice!!)
However, long as 29 years is, the rest of your life is even longer to live unhappy xxxxx
Thank you all for the replies, it wasn't all about sex there were other issues, we had a good talk last night and again when I came in from work and hopefully it will help things along. We are both under stress def, just I think sometimes it builds up until it has no where to go.
Hope things will go in the right direction, we are going to try harder, both of us.
Thank you all for the replies, it wasn't all about sex there were other issues, we had a good talk last night and again when I came in from work and hopefully it will help things along. We are both under stress def, just I think sometimes it builds up until it has no where to go.
Hope things will go in the right direction, we are going to try harder, both of us.
FAB news! I really hope you had a brilliant evening! Wishing you both all the best and lots of fun for the future! x x
Thank you, all the advice is very much appreciated.
Think we need to have some time to ourselves, our house is only tiny and there are five adults, us two and our son and daughters, so there is always someone about. Hubby has a weekend off in a couple of weeks,(He's off every two weeks) I have a float day to take, so providing I can get it then we may be able to go some where. (I work every Saturday)
So sorry for you, it is hard and I just don't know what to say to help, relationships take some keeping going at times. I hope things can be sorted out for you, who knows what lies ahead.
Well the idea of a weekend away is scuppered, if we manage to get another car he is going fishing, oh well.
I'm sure you will find someone Jimi, might well be worth the wait.
Yup.... it hurt like hell, and still does tbh. But you know.... whats most important is that she's happy. And if I couldn't make her happy anymore, for whatever reason, then she deserves to be with someone who does, and so do I. Life is to short for us to waste.