We dabble in anal play for me, she has no interest! Won’t even try it so I respect that. She know I really enjoy her playing with my P spot and we occasionally play but it’s more of a spur of the moment thing.
Anyways I’ve become more and more curious with the thought of her pegging me as of late, think it’s more the kink of it but it’s all I can think about.
So my question is how the hell do I broach this with her, like I said she’s ok with playing with me, but it’s quite a big step to ask her to don a strap on and fuck me!
Had thought of starting small and using a small dildo but just really not sure how to ask for what I want!!
Any advice or experience would be greatly welcomed
You need to talk to her when you both have time to have a proper conversation, not hurried over breakfast before running off to work, and certainly not during (or just before) sex.
Explain to her how much you enjoy her playing with your prostate and that you would like to experience this more and see how she feels about it. You suggest that she uses a toy on you (not with a strap on) and go from there. You could also use the opportunity to find out if there is anything she would like to try (not in a "you do my thing, I'll do yours" kind of way, but more of an opening up and talking about your sex life kind of way).
You need to temper your expectations though. Firstly, you may have been thinking about this a lot, but she hasn't, she made need some time to think. Secondly, she may just not like the idea, and the more you push, the less she is going to want to try it.
That’s great advice, we have a very healthy sex life I feel and I certainly make sure we both have a great time when we have sex, we’ve been together 19 years now since we were 17, so sometimes and I don’t know why but it feels awkward asking for something new! Especially when it comes to my prostate! Took a while to ask but she enjoys doing it to please me now!
All of what Kelly said as she said it so well. Being open and honest whilst remaining respectful is always the best policy when it comes to broaching a subject of trying something new and of course don't exoect but be prepared for her not to be as keen as you are. Best of luck.
As a woman who was recently asked to start pegging, my partner was really sweet in the way he asked me. We were out for a walk and he said he'd like to talk about some stuff. Then he said he really enjoyed bum play - I think he started out by saying he felt a bit like a bum bandit 😊 and he wanted me to know how much he liked having his bum played with, and how he'd love me to penetrate him. I said I'd need to think about it, and he let it go at that. A couple of days later, I was spontaneously fantasising about having a strap on and really fucking him. So do give her time to think, and let it percolate a while. So far, I've used my bullet in him, which was amazing - and I'm totally surprised by how much of a turn on it is for me, I've just never been interested before. We haven't managed to find a strap on that's slim enough and long enough - but we're still looking. And it's fun to browse sites together trying to find the right thing. So take it gently, give her lots of space (and do be prepared for her not to go for it too). And good luck. Please feel free to show her these posts too - it might help
We recently started experimenting with pegging, but it came about organically for us, using a vibe on his was spur of the moment and I was amazed by how much we both loved it. Relax and just ask, not during sex where it might make her feel pressured, but give her time to think about it. We went with a strapless strap on, which gives us both pleasure rather than straight to a harness which felt like too much to begin with, now I'm saving for the harness suspender shorts which feel a little more feminine to me. Good luck!
Hey, some really excellent advice already but adding my two cents. Honesty is the best policy and I know it may seem nervy but If you don’t ask you won’t ever get what you want. I think gran has said the best way to discuss this with your partner, simply have a calm discussion and let her know how you feel about butt play just don’t push it all too much. Let your partner go away and have a think about it. Let them make up their mind and see if they feel ready to go into the world of pegging. It’s a big jump from a finger up the bum, as the whole aspect of reversing the role and she is penetrating you instead of the other way around, it can be a bit of a turn off for some. But in most instances I know one or two of my ex partners have absolutely loved the thrill of taking control and found it fun and sexy, so if she’s already playing with your butt I should think she will be pretty open to taking things further.
If you haven’t used a dildo or any other toys like a plug etc, I would suggest maybe using one of these first and letting her try this out, then when you get comfortable move on to pegging. Just don’t push things and it’s great that you have a healthy and happy sex life so keep it up.
I don't know if you can post links here but try and search for 'verry sexy pegging' on your site of choice. This is the video I showed my wife after discussing my interest in trying it.
What we liked about it is that it's not scary dom style it's very much presented as a couple goofing around. It's still sexy as hell but is less threatening than a lot of the other material.
Explaining why you want to try it is only part of it. The other part is explaining why you want your wife to do the doing.
Sounds like you have the starting point. It's something you have done alone and find a turn on and pleasurable. What you would like to do next is to explore those sensations with her so she can be part of that exploration with you.
Like the other posters have said if your wife is still not interested then don't pressure.
There's already some great advice posted here, so I'll just share my experiences.
I'm female, love anal play on my partners and have introduced it to many male partners through the years. A few said no directly, most were skeptical and we gave it a try when they were ready. Some loved it from the first go, for others it took a few tries, while some really hated it.
Bottom line, no matter how you approach her, it may or may not work. In case it doesn't, that doesn't mean she doesn't love you, isn't attracted enough to you or doesn't care to pleasure you. We are different people with different likes, dislikes and limits.
When we have a small sexual incompatibility with a partner, we try to find alternatives that work. If he won't let me peg him, I might have him lie on his stomach and I'll ride his ass until I cum, for example.
I really hope it will work out for you though! Pegging and being pegged is one of the best things during sex for me!
I think honesty is the best policy if you both love one and other judging someone you love is hard enough! Personally if my man asked me... I would try if we both agreed it would affect the relationship or felt uncomfortable mutually agree it isn’t for both of you and find someone new too try :)
This is exactly what I’m dealing with! I am really enjoying the anal play (mostly with myself) but I am very interested in having my wife try it on me. I’ve even bought the strap on already. Thanks everyone for the advice! Sounds like i just need to keep talking to her about it and hopefully she will give it a try. And maybe even enjoy it...
So Update, we talked, was the best thing to do as per everyones advice, she's keen to do it but wants to build up to it, so agreed to buy the toy and just use that for now, then build up to the harness!!! very happy camper here....
Good news! I'm so pleased you talked it through together and she's up for trying. I still feel I need him to guide me in getting the angle right, and not hurting him, but the practice is fun. We laugh a lot too, trying to get a good position, which is great. A cushion under his bum really helps (he's 6'4" and I'm 4'11" so it can be a challenge!) or having him kneeling on the side of the bed. We still haven't found a strapless that's slim enough for him, but another things come to hand (😃) Have fun! Relax and laugh together. It's good fun. I hope she gets into the role reversal - that can be fun, and challenging, and insightful too.