The "Compatibility" thread had me thinking about learning together in the bedroom. I found this old closed thread from before I joined the forum and I thought I'd re-open it here (as Part 2!) so that I can share my experience and invite others to do the same:
I'm 47 and my wife is 43. We've been married for nearly twenty years now, but it's taken us more than ten years of that to discover our respective true selves in the bedroom (or elsewhere!) and start having some real fun. It certainly wasn't the case that what went before was bad -- just that we had no idea what we were missing.
We were both virgins on our wedding night. My wife knew nothing about sexual technique and hadn't even played with herself. She had been brought up to be a "good girl" and had been told that her role as a good wife was to lie on her back, open her legs, and cheerfully accept what I gave her, even though it might be uncomfortable. I knew a bit more, but I hadn't been able to put it into practice. Perhaps surprisingly, our wedding night sex was a great success. The mood and the occasion certainly made it very special.
We carried on for a long time with this simple mode of penetrative sex. I wanted to try other ideas but my wife didn't seem keen and said that what we did was fine for her. A barrier between us was that my wife claimed not to have any fantasies at all, whereas I had lots of them but didn't tell my wife about them because I knew she'd regard them as filthy.
Eventually, things had to change. One evening, in a fit of frustrated horniness, I put on a stern expression and told my wife in a firm tone of voice exactly what I was about to do to her and that, if she didn't want me to do it, then she'd better say right away. My wife's eyes widened but she didn't object.
What followed was the start of a very enjoyable process of peeling away my wife's "good girl" external veneer to expose a very hot and sexy "bad girl" hidden underneath who just needed to be given permission to come out and play. As we did so, I revealed much more of my naughty side to her. Now my wife knows that I have a filthy mind but she can't complain because I know that she enjoys hearing about it and even putting some of it into practice.
So... we've come a very long way together! I'd love to be able to persuade my wife to do more -- hopefully that's just a question of time and confidence. Annoyingly, our greatest difficulty these days is finding the quality time together to enjoy this side of ourselves.
I hope that's of interest! Over to you...