How to ask my Husband to have a MMF threesome with another man?

Hello everyone! The title says it all, I am a happily married 39yo housewife and have been married to my husband for 12 years now, I started pegging him with a strap on about a year ago and I really enjoy doing it and he really enjoys receiving it, at least the orgasms that he gets from pegging. I know pegging doesn’t mean he is gay but about a month ago I started fantasizing about watching him with another man. The first few times I fantasied about this was while we were in the middle of me pegging him, but in the last week I have started imagining this while I have been masturbating alone.

So I have a few questions, first of all should this just remain my fantasy? For some reason I am really nervous about asking him about this, we have a great relationship with great communication but I really do not want to potentially hurt him by him thinking he is gay or that I want to be with a gay man? And I don’t really want a threesome as in this other guy doing anything with me, I just really want to watch my husband getting it from another guy, and most of all its the cum I just want another guy to cum inside my husband the thought of that drives me wild. Looking forward to your responses, especially from you females and males that have actually done this.

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Hi,

My wife also would like to watch me getting penetrated by another guy, just as much as much I would love seeing her go down on another woman.

Because my wife often plays with my rear with toys, fingers etc. I got really curious about what the real deal would feel like, besides getting penetrated I also would love to give a BJ.

so it is a bit of the other way around for us. Because I had the fantasy I just told it to my wife and she gets turned on by it. I still consider myself straight but bi-curious. Would love to experience it one day, I would rather regret the things I have done than regret I the thing I haven’t

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Your hubby is lucky to have such an open and adventurous wife! That said, introducing a new person and having a same sex experience would be a bold step and can see why you’re hesitant.

How about exploring some mmf porn with some bi scenes with him, maybe during a pegging session. Then subsequently mentioning how much it turns you on followed by sharing your fantasy (but without necessarily proposing fulfilling it just yet) and how aroused it gets you.

Given how much you both enjoy the pegging it shouldn’t be a complete surprise if you have this type of fantasy so you shouldn’t be scared of his reaction even if ultimately he’s not up for fulfilling your fantasy. You only live once and nothing ventured nothing gained.

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Sharing a fantasy and pursuing it as reality are worlds apart and definitely can only move forward with communication.

You can find lots of places to read up on best practices for talking about fantasies (bring it up outside the bedroom in comfortable/safe spaces; couch it as “I was reading an story/article about XYZ… what do you think?,” suggesting you read erotica or watch a video together that feature the fantasized act, etc).

But whether you take steps to make it a reality is even greater, and being something that brings another person into the act is more significant and everyone must be 100% on-board because it cannot be undone. I know for our relationship, we’ll never include another person as we’re skeptical of the consequences and don’t really want to open that Pandora’s Box for our relationship.

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@SamanthaH, as others have alluded to, hubby is very lucky to have such a wonderful and adventurous wife, and one who is clearly thinking this through.

Again, as others have said, you might want to socialise the idea of introducing another man or even bi porn to gauge his reaction… but even then, he may put up an initial wall of denial for fear of upsetting you…

… but a denial could also be genuine. Please be aware that just because a man loves being pegging, it does not automatically mean he has bi sexual tendencies, it could be he loves ‘bum fun’ as part of your fun together.

I have but only rarely met a couple, and had some lovely fun - both ways, but then again I am perhaps very different to what you are wanting, I think?

R xx

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Uhm I think it’s quite common for women to get turned on by this thought :sweat_smile: it’s certainly not the first time I hear of it. I myself enjoy an occasional fantasy of men having sex, I enjoy watching Uhm gay men porn :sweat_smile:
I fully intend for my boyfriend to have this with another man with me watching. :rofl:

He’s had sex with men before, but he doesn’t consider himself even bi (this confuses me but each to their own lol). So he can probably be open to the idea. I’m also not particularly interested in the other man having sex with me, it’s specifically me and said other man doing things to my boyfriend that excites me.

The way I’m doing it is that I drop hints now and then. I even know which man in question it’s gonna be, cause he’s had sex with my boyfriend before and we’re all friends lol
Eventually I’ll sit down and have a more serious conversation about it, but at that point BF will be ‘warmed up’ to the thought I hope. :))

I guess as others have suggested it might be worth testing the waters gently rather than outright asking, however some may lean towards just asking.
It depends on the intricacies your relationship is built - for me, my husband is open to me discussing any fantasies and we haven’t come across any that we aren’t mutually interested in so far.
The first time I actually ever talked to him about one, I actually said it was in a dream, because I was scared of his reaction and we had never opened up that kind of line of communication before. It went down well that way, but now as time has gone on I am way more comfortable just saying it!
It’s all down to individuals.
If I asked him exactly your fantasy as you’ve described, I know he will say no, because I already have an idea of his boundaries and he has an idea of mine as well, and I am content with the notion that fantasies are sometimes better staying that way, for many reasons.
I know he has absolutely no interest in adding anyone in, especially not of the same sex so there would be no point in me even bringing it up, for example.
All this to say I probably lean towards gauging his reaction to things over time dropping hints or saying you had a dream.
Or you could get the spicer app, I’m pretty sure there’s a whole heap of swinging/poly/three/foursome type questions and you can see what he swipes (yes, maybe, or no) (that’s also how I know where we stand on some of the things we never knew were a thing when we first started exploring)

Edited to add: you can also add your own questions on spicer anonymously :wink: that’s one way to find out lol

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U kno I maybe different then most ppl , all my life hate guessing other people mind, I like all cards on table … don’t get me wrong I luv building things up as whole ride leading to that place it’s worth more then few sec of finishing.
I can do everything with women literally…. And if I trying new things … always use 3strike rule….
Some things because the way we been raised or time we was born can make some ppl fearful or even unable to enjoy them self.
I don’t have that problem coz I am hedonistic junky that getting addicted from everything in that life ….
But but I find up from my own experience that for some things u need grow mentally , sometimes speed of two ppl in relationship (starting from base) will not match.
Having comfort of knowing ur other half in that way ….is open minded person, will save you .alots of pain

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