Hi all I was wondering if I could get some advice. The thought of anal play and sex has always fascinated me, im not quite sure why, but have never tried it with a partner. I love my fiancé, she is a kind loveing woman and I am lucky enough to be able to spend the ret of my life with her, I would love to be able to experiment with her, but don't quite know how to bring it up. I know that she's tried it once ages ago with a differebt BF and that it hurt, and hurting her would be the last thing on my mind. How can move bring up the subject? would it be better of it we started with a finger then, a but plug/dildo? Any advice would be much appreciated.
Hi DrGiz - The best advice I can give is to take is extremely slowly and use lots of lube. It is always best to start with a finger - my Husband uses a glove when he does this so that afterwards you just turn it inside out and you have no worries about mess etc. We use these:-
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=10680
We also use a relaxing anal spray which I find invaluable. The great thing about this spray is that you really don’t loose any sensation at all - and there are no long-term effects. Nothing gets looser, so to speak - it just helps things to relax and not burn. I personally use 3 sprays, but the bottle does suggest using between 2-3 sprays - it depends on how you feel. Just try a couple of sprays and wait for about 5 minutes:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28767
It may take several sessions before you are able to penetrate fully - just take as long as you need and build up very slowly. Just get used to playing with your fingers for a couple of sessions and enjoy those sensations before you try again - you can try to build up to 2 fingers then 3 fingers - making sure you use lots of lube - this is essential - I use Sliquid Sassy as it does not contain any chemical nasties - but there are lots of anal lubes on LH to choose from:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=11373
Also using a small butt plug would also help to get used to the feelings and enhance playtime - I have this one and it is a great one for a beginner:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21767
I have also added a couple of Lovehoney Guide links which I think will be helpful:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/buyers-guide/an-overview-of-anal-sex-toys/
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/buyers-guide/
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/buyers-guide/anal-sex-toys-beginners-guide/
I hope this all helps and good luck :) xx
I couldn't add anything else!
All of the above is really spot on. But I must say its wonderful you've come for advice to make sure it's something you both will enjoy.
Good luck :)
DrGiz wrote:
Hi all I was wondering if I could get some advice. The thought of anal play and sex has always fascinated me, im not quite sure why, but have never tried it with a partner. I love my fiancé, she is a kind loveing woman and I am lucky enough to be able to spend the ret of my life with her, I would love to be able to experiment with her, but don't quite know how to bring it up. I know that she's tried it once ages ago with a differebt BF and that it hurt, and hurting her would be the last thing on my mind. How can move bring up the subject? would it be better of it we started with a finger then, a but plug/dildo? Any advice would be much appreciated.
Had something similar with my wife. We tried earlier in our relationship and she didn't like it especially as I am big. She said it was enjoyable for her but she would try and do it for me.
Like you I didn't want to hurt her and what was the point if she didn't enjoy it. Anyway over the years she did enjoy turning me on by allow me to come over her bum, bit by bit she would show it of more then hold it open for me to see and come on. Then we found if I was horny enough and she was well lubed I could come just by rubbing my self against and over her anus. This she did enjoy and it turned her on.
On one occasion when it was taking me a little longer than normal and she had orgasmed just before .I noticed that she must of been very relaxed as her bum was opening up I changed my angle offered the tip of my cock up. I didn't push she backed onto me I stayed still and it went in.
From then on we have been able to have anal, not often and my Wife initiates. Communication, communication. My wife still says it does nothing for her other than knowing how much she is turning me on, but it doesn't hurt at all any more. It has brought us even closer to get her.
Thanks for the great advice it really helps. I've looked at the Cox beginner butt plug and I think it suffers from what most beginner butt plugs suffer from, namely it looks horrible! What are your thoughts on the Ass Berry http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15379 is this too big for a beginner plug?
DrGiz wrote:
Thanks for the great advice it really helps. I've looked at the Cox beginner butt plug and I think it suffers from what most beginner butt plugs suffer from, namely it looks horrible! What are your thoughts on the Ass Berry http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15379 is this too big for a beginner plug?
That is a bit big and likely to scare you, definatly recomment what Scrops has said about this plug - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21767 start off small dont get to greedy have eyes bigger than your butt hole enjoy it
It's a hard subject to just bring up sometimes. To test the water, try stroking and or/gently probin her bum hole with a finger next time your in the middle of a good shag. Her reaction may pleasantly surprise you.