Hi, firstly I will apologise if this has already been covered.
I am currently in a strong and happy marriage and have a good sex life, but we have both agreed that to add an extra bit of spice that we would both get to know a FWB.
After looking for a little while my wife has found someone, however I am struggling - I thought I had met someone on line but it turned out that the website was a scam site.
I am now a bit worried about being burned again and would appreciate any advice given as to where I should start looking.
Fab is a good site but like any online contact site thereās plenty of ways to go wrong. Look for verified users and make sure thereās plenty of chat both online, on the phone and eventually face to face before any physical activity takes place. Itāll always be easier for women to find a suitable applicant purely based on the number of men using sites. I managed to find several FWBs over the years on there - and eventually married the last.
Dating (whatever your circumstances) can be super fun but there is always going to be the possibility of being played etc, so you do have to be ready for it and spot the red flags etc.
Iām not sure on your age or location, but Iāve found Feeld is quite a good app and people are pretty straight forward about what they are looking for. You get quite a lot of couples on there and you can link your profiles so people can see you both too if you wanted. Chat on the app first and then make sure you do phone calls/video calls to check itās actually the person youāre talking to. Definitely just be honest about what youāre looking for and your situation, and donāt try and rush it, just go with what feels right
I donāt have anything to add in addition to the above really, other than what was mentioned about the FWB being dominated by males, subsequently when I was looking for similar years ago it was a difficult experience.
Fab was mentioned, and of course there are other more dating aligned sites such as Plenty of Fish you can set up profiles specifically looking for FWB.
Ladies could set up a profile and have 100ās of emails in no time (granted, a whole different set of challenges in terms of filtering through those), for men it is far more of a slog to get that initial connection with a human on the other end.
Fab is OK. Mostly older guys on there though, a few couples and fewer single woman who, as above, probs get inundated by guys. Thereās fabguys just for dudes too. There are a lot of timewasters on both sites but if you put the effort in you can find some worthwhile hooks ups.
If you are lucky you might even get dinner and breakfast the next morning
Iām obviously not in the position or want to be of using these site.
From a womans point of view, would it not be safer to use a normal dating site, take it step at a time and if they feel comfortable, move to a physical relationship ( FWB or more ). I may be a bit straight laced and over cautious , but I do worry for women, as there are predators out thereā¦ Iād always advocate extreme caution.
I think there are plenty of dodgy people on dating sites too. Itās probably best for everyone, regardless of gender, to be savvy enough to navigate them safely.
And I think what site you use may depend on what your version of ānormalā is. Not all sites are set up with the same goals in mind.
The worldās an odd place, isnāt it? As a bi guy, I like cock ā¦IN CONTEXT. And of course I understand that not everybody thinks the way I do - but Iāve never understood the mindset so many men seem to have that goes āFlash 'em a nice fat close-up of my dick and Iāll be beating 'em off with a shovel.ā Likewise, on gay male dating sites/apps, you get bombarded with in-yer-face close-ups of assholes. Urrgghhh.
I dunno, maybe Iām just old-fashioned, but whatever happened to hooking up with a PERSON?
Think there is no 100% safe site to try as you have to be extra careful these days on whatever you do and wherever you look thereās bound to be an abundance of fake, flaky or scam people who will feed on your trust
Things happen when you least expect them to.
You are definitely right to let things just happen.
Last thing you want is a bad experience. @Ian_Chimp is right ,there are dodgy people in lots of sites Iād imagine.
Once lockdown eases and people can get back to going out socialising with friends , Iām sure plenty of opportunities will present themselves.
Yep, have to say, I really do not get the whole obsession with guys and the dick pics thing. Funniest thing is I donāt actually think I have met or spoke to a female that has any time for it.
Each to their own and all that, and thankfully I have a great OH who I love, so I am well away from that scene now. The days of looking for hook-ups as a single male were quite miserable, an awful lot of effort to just be seen as a person - and then of course friend zoned because of it
I think whatever the site, thereās a whole set of challenges presented for everyone.
though thatās better for engaging with a kinky community than specifically dating
Not all sites are set up with the same goals in mind.
Likewise, on gay male dating sites/apps, you get bombarded with in-yer-face close-ups of assholes. Urrgghhh.
