Irritating habits during sex

I was led to start this new thread by a comment in this thread:

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/314638-what-has-made-you-laugh-during-sex/page-4/

Lady Lillith wrote:

My OH gets what we call 'the verbals' where he talks about random things. It can be anything from gravity to something funny he remembered at university that day. Unfortunately he gets the verbals during sex...

What irritating (but forgiveable) habits do you or your OH have during sex?

My wife tends to raise trivial (to me) practicalities at inopportune moments -- for example:

  • Stopping to fold and tidy up the clothes that I've just helped to remove from her
  • Worrying about the possibility of leaving a wet patch once we've got going
  • Telling me off for stroking and messing up her hair which she's just washed

Then again, my wife would claim that I have these bad habits:

  • Leaving untidy piles of clothes strewn around the place
  • Not stopping to get a towel which would have prevented a wet patch
  • Messing up her hair which she had washed in preparation for work the next day

We've tried various forms of punishment such as spanking each other, but these don't seem to be successful in preventing these habits. If anything, we seem to be getting worse. External Media

I ramble - about all sorts....the most bizarre things pop into my head during sex and I have to say them out loud (then realise how annoying it must be - and down right offensive when he's working really hard to relax me) it's just because I find it really difficult to switch my brain off.

The most annoying thing I do though, and the most embarrassing, is falling asleep. I have chronic fatigue and I take medication to help me sleep properly (well I take it as a pain modifier but one of the side effects is drowsiness and it gives me a reasonable night's sleep rather than the 4 hours sleep I get without) couple both with the fact that I'm also chronically sleep deprived (because reasonable is still no where near enough) then it's inevitable that when I climb in to bed exhausted and lay down to suck cock, relax, finally unwind and switch off - well it's inevitable that pretty regularly (usually when I pause with his cock in my mouth but still, to rest my jaw when it aches) doze off. Problem is he always knows because my jaw starts to tighten. It really is a big issue and I'm really working on it but if you've never experienced eyes so heavy it literally hurts to keep them open, and a body so achey and tired that you've not control on what you're doing let alone what state you're in, then it's hard to understand how hard it is to stay awake (and how little control I have over it - I can feel really alert and still go so I can't really predict it).

But I'm working on it, and lately I seem to have improved :D

And he tries his best not to get upset and tries to understand!

On to the more light hearted stuff ()

I also hate wet patches (but so does he so it's good - we keep a towel by the bed)

I hate lube on my hands - and really complain when it's my turn to lube him up for penetration!

When he's on top and comes inside me, I absent mindedly jab my thumbs into his hips (to make him pull out really quick so I can pull a towel under me before we get a wet patch!

He's generally not very irritating during sex - in fact he rarely annoys me ever.

Adx

Alicia D'amore wrote:

The most annoying thing I do though, and the most embarrassing, is falling asleep. I have chronic fatigue and I take medication to help me sleep properly (well I take it as a pain modifier but one of the side effects is drowsiness and it gives me a reasonable night's sleep rather than the 4 hours sleep I get without) couple both with the fact that I'm also chronically sleep deprived (because reasonable is still no where near enough) then it's inevitable that when I climb in to bed exhausted and lay down to suck cock, relax, finally unwind and switch off - well it's inevitable that pretty regularly (usually when I pause with his cock in my mouth but still, to rest my jaw when it aches) doze off.

Awww... I think that's really sweet! I understand that it must be frustrating for your OH, but it's also a compliment that you feel so relaxed, comfortable and safe with him that you doze off. My wife often does the same when I give her a sensuous massage, so I have to moderate my expectations if we do this as foreplay.

Thinking about it, I seem to have a soporific effect on other people -- babies, animals and even female friends have been known to curl up next to me and nod off. I'm not sure how to take that, but I'll choose to assume that it's because I'm a reassuring and comfortable presence.

Alicia D'amore wrote:

He's generally not very irritating during sex - in fact he rarely annoys me ever.

Awww! What a lovely thing to say! External Media

(Please excuse me -- I'm feeling in a cuddly and loved-up mood at the moment)

Alicia D'amore wrote:

I also hate wet patches (but so does he so it's good - we keep a towel by the bed)

So do we, but it's still a faff to find it and deploy once we're in the mood if we've forgotten to do it beforehand. We certainly both need it, though! I'm surprised how little this seems to get mentioned by people -- maybe we're all embarrassed because we've been convinced by movies that it should be possible to have lengthy lovemaking sessions on satin sheets without leaving a single mark.

Cuddly Hubby wrote:

Alicia D'amore wrote:

The most annoying thing I do though, and the most embarrassing, is falling asleep. I have chronic fatigue and I take medication to help me sleep properly (well I take it as a pain modifier but one of the side effects is drowsiness and it gives me a reasonable night's sleep rather than the 4 hours sleep I get without) couple both with the fact that I'm also chronically sleep deprived (because reasonable is still no where near enough) then it's inevitable that when I climb in to bed exhausted and lay down to suck cock, relax, finally unwind and switch off - well it's inevitable that pretty regularly (usually when I pause with his cock in my mouth but still, to rest my jaw when it aches) doze off.

Awww... I think that's really sweet! I understand that it must be frustrating for your OH, but it's also a compliment that you feel so relaxed, comfortable and safe with him that you doze off. My wife often does the same when I give her a sensuous massage, so I have to moderate my expectations if we do this as foreplay.

He used to find it sweet when we were long distance and I dozed off on the phone - in fact he used to keep talking to me whilst I slept....now he get's a little offended by it and can't help feeling a little negative so we try to avoid the situation as best we can now...increased day time sex when I'm slightly less likely to doze off.

I'm sure keeping a towel by the bed/baby wiping before and after sex and leakage of come from the lady post-sex has come up in a thread before (there may even be one dedicated to it - though I've no idea of the name) but generally, it's not mentioned outside of this forum (which is pretty different to "typical" conversations on sex! It's a shame really because it seems to be such a normal behaviour and it'd make sense for people to be comfortable with it - I guess some people don't like to admit that sex can be messy sometimes (always?!).

Me - sometimes I only swallow after sex because I can't be bothered with the need to sit up on my knees with a towel between my legs for a while before sleeping after sex! I'd find it hard to believe other people don't have to do this!

Adx

i have no complaints about my wife at all half of you are lucky to have a partner, if trivial things upset you in bed,but obviously they are not trivial in your minds,so apologies to you all before you start on me !!!Just enjoy yourselves!!!

I've been trying to think about this since yesterday but couldn't really come up with anything - only because our irritating habits tend to be mirrored by each other!

Specifically, I'm thinking about the lack of fluidity between us whilst having sex (not the lack of fluids before someone else says it!!) - having a 10 sec break to get lube out of a box or (previously) pratting about putting a condom on. Little breaks right in the middle of your build-up. It never seems to be spontaneous and free-flowing. One of us will talk and say something, then the other replies and it's not always romantic LOL

I'm not explaining very well, but I guess in answer to your question I can't really think of any irritating habits but together we have an irritating habit. Make sense?

lickmadick wrote:

i have no complaints about my wife at all half of you are lucky to have a partner, if trivial things upset you in bed,but obviously they are not trivial in your minds,so apologies to you all before you start on me !!!Just enjoy yourselves!!!

When I started the thread, I was trying to be light-hearted and tongue-in-cheek. I wasn't referring to big unresolved issues between partners, but rather little quirks that might be irritating but are completely forgiveable/forgiven.

I'd hoped that this was obvious from my opening post but, on reflection, perhaps it wasn't. Sorry about that! External Media

lickmadick wrote:

i have no complaints about my wife at all half of you are lucky to have a partner, if trivial things upset you in bed,but obviously they are not trivial in your minds,so apologies to you all before you start on me !!!Just enjoy yourselves!!!

I don't think the spirit of the thread is to genuinely complain lmd - just little quirks and habits we all have that can be irritating, or cute, or funny - I don't think anyone would be genuinely gutted that their OH didn't come leaking on the bed etc.

Adx

Cuddly Hubby wrote:

lickmadick wrote:

i have no complaints about my wife at all half of you are lucky to have a partner, if trivial things upset you in bed,but obviously they are not trivial in your minds,so apologies to you all before you start on me !!!Just enjoy yourselves!!!

When I started the thread, I was trying to be light-hearted and tongue-in-cheek. I wasn't referring to big unresolved issues between partners, but rather little quirks that might be irritating but are completely forgiveable/forgiven.

I'd hoped that this was obvious from my opening post but, on reflection, perhaps it wasn't. Sorry about that! External Media

It ws clear to me - don't worry about it!

Adx

oh well have it your way them i'm irritated that my missus doesn't swing from the chandeliers anymore

Alicia D'amore wrote:

lickmadick wrote:

i have no complaints about my wife at all half of you are lucky to have a partner, if trivial things upset you in bed,but obviously they are not trivial in your minds,so apologies to you all before you start on me !!!Just enjoy yourselves!!!

I don't think the spirit of the thread is to genuinely complain lmd - just little quirks and habits we all have that can be irritating, or cute, or funny - I don't think anyone would be genuinely gutted that their OH didn't come leaking on the bed etc.

Adx

Whilst I don't make a big deal about this I do always have a towel on stand-by just in case - not very romantic either but you try running to the loo with stuff dripping down your leg (once gravity has taken effect)!

I got that it was tongue-in-cheek too - don't worry!

Dirty Red Angel wrote:

Alicia D'amore wrote:

lickmadick wrote:

i have no complaints about my wife at all half of you are lucky to have a partner, if trivial things upset you in bed,but obviously they are not trivial in your minds,so apologies to you all before you start on me !!!Just enjoy yourselves!!!

I don't think the spirit of the thread is to genuinely complain lmd - just little quirks and habits we all have that can be irritating, or cute, or funny - I don't think anyone would be genuinely gutted that their OH didn't come leaking on the bed etc.

Adx

Whilst I don't make a big deal about this I do always have a towel on stand-by just in case - not very romantic either but you try running to the loo with stuff dripping down your leg (once gravity has taken effect)!

I got that it was tongue-in-cheek too - don't worry!

We have a towel and baby wipes next to the bed...always. On the rare occasion it's missing, I have to swallow to avoid the mess :P

Adx

1 Like

i don't think my OH does anything in particular that i can think of.

i get very cold feet and sometimes keep my socks on in bed which he doesn't like! but i think i have only done that about two or three times in the last 2 1/2 years!

I have hard problems switching my brain off during sex, especially at busy times, but luckily never said anything loud! not sure my OH would appreciate my latest theory for an essay during sex Luckily happens only when I am really really busy.

I think my habit of falling asleep after an orgasm must be seriously annoying because my OH usually is up for a cuddle and sometimes second round (and yes I am the girl and he is the guy in the relationship lol).

He does not have any really annoying habbits.

Dirty Red Angel wrote:

Specifically, I'm thinking about the lack of fluidity between us whilst having sex (not the lack of fluids before someone else says it!!) - having a 10 sec break to get lube out of a box or (previously) pratting about putting a condom on. Little breaks right in the middle of your build-up. It never seems to be spontaneous and free-flowing. One of us will talk and say something, then the other replies and it's not always romantic LOL

I think I know what you mean. I get the same irritation when I have to pause in mid-flow for any reason (e.g. to turn up the radio, to take a swig of water, to search for fresh batteries). The ideal in my head is that sex should be a smooth, flowing and well-oiled production, accompanied by sweeping orchestral music and a light, steady summer breeze -- as it would be in the movies. It feels like a let-down when the reality is necessarily more disjointed.

katmiaow wrote:

i get very cold feet and sometimes keep my socks on in bed which he doesn't like! but i think i have only done that about two or three times in the last 2 1/2 years!

You may be missing an opportunity here! I find conventional socks very unsexy, but some other types can be hot! It may just be a particular kink of mine, but I get turned on by seeing my wife wearing stripey knee-high socks, and I'll often ask her to leave them on during sex (which is also convenient for her on a cold night).

Laveila wrote:

I think my habit of falling asleep after an orgasm must be seriously annoying because my OH usually is up for a cuddle and sometimes second round (and yes I am the girl and he is the guy in the relationship lol).

There's a stereotype that men are the ones who fall asleep immediately after sex and deny women the cuddle that they crave, but it's not justified in my experience -- and, it seems, in yours. It's more often my wife who nods off to sleep afterwards, whereas I'm happy to tiptoe around and clear up before cuddling back up to her. I quite like it, actually -- it feels like a bit of a compliment -- but then again I've never been up for a second round.

Cuddly Hubby wrote:


Laveila wrote:

I think my habit of falling asleep after an orgasm must be seriously annoying because my OH usually is up for a cuddle and sometimes second round (and yes I am the girl and he is the guy in the relationship lol).

There's a stereotype that men are the ones who fall asleep immediately after sex and deny women the cuddle that they crave, but it's not justified in my experience -- and, it seems, in yours. It's more often my wife who nods off to sleep afterwards, whereas I'm happy to tiptoe around and clear up before cuddling back up to her. I quite like it, actually -- it feels like a bit of a compliment -- but then again I've never been up for a second round.

Well, I think it depends on a person rather than sex. and also in my case intensity of the orgasm. If mild I am less likely to fall asleep, but with an intense I do. If I get up immediately I can actually usually stay awake, but even after some time alone if I dont, I am asleep within few minutes.

He is External Media SO I think me falling asleep may be annoying him a bit sometimes.

I have my own irritating habit that I don't let show but it annoys me that I do it. I get the verbals, but in mental form. As soon as we start having sex, my mind completely wanders onto completely random and unrelated topics - what I'm going to do later on, how tidy my room is, books I've read, and everything but the awesome sex I'm having. I tell myself off about thinking all this stuff, and then my mind wanders off onto why I do it, I wonder if he does it too etc etc. There's no helping me!

I must also say that as soon as sex is over, I'd be out like a light if my OH let me. He's always wide awake, and I tell him not to let me fall asleep! I don't see him terribly often so I hate to waste it sleeping, but I just can't help myself. A power nap is alright, but I've fallen asleep before and woken up an hour or too later, and it feels such a waste of my time with him.

If only hour or two! My record is 4 in the middle of Sunday afternoon

Laveila wrote:

If only hour or two! My record is 4 in the middle of Sunday afternoon External Media External Media

I'd probably be able to manage that on a tired day if my OH didn't eventually and inevitably get bored of watching me sleep!

Ecksvie wrote:

Laveila wrote:

If only hour or two! My record is 4 in the middle of Sunday afternoon External Media External Media

I'd probably be able to manage that on a tired day if my OH didn't eventually and inevitably get bored of watching me sleep!

lol I was alone or I would not manage that as well, they do like waking us, dont they?