My partner had a Vasectomy nearly 4 months ago, he was unfortunate to have some problems which resulted in him being hospitalized.
He said he feels an awful lot of pain when getting hard and now its it hard to get hard, Is this normal for the first few times and pain subsides?
Any help or advise would be great as the doctors are useless.
I never had a issue like this would definitely advise him to seak medical advice. I did have a infection after but it didnt cause me any pain just discomfort.
Hope he gets it sorted sounds painfull
I am well aware that vasectomies can unfortunately result in some issues. Whilst 90% of them (don’t quote me on stats) are successful without problems, there are quite a few that result in either post op swelling, post op pain, or they simply don’t work!
My partner was sadly part of that 10% and had extreme pain post op due to swelling and what I would call “a Friday afternoon job”. Needless to say he went to his GP who sent him back to the hospital to speak to the consultants.
After several visits he eventually got the help he needed and these days (touch wood - no pun intended) all is well.
I would suggest ringing your GP, contacting the consultant who carried out the procedure and trying to get him as much advise and help as possible.
This isn’t normal, no - especially not four months post op.
There was no issues when my husband had it done. Week or so discomfort/ restrictions but then pretty much back to normal.
Certainly no pain / erecting pain or issues.
Would suggest you speak to your doctor / medical advice for peace of mind and also check everything is ok.
The only issue I had was that I was far more sensitive/delicate than I was expecting. No constant pain, but I didn’t like being touched or sudden movements. Not sure where he had it done, but mine was through the NHS. I was given a help line straight to a nurse which I used a couple of times. They were helpful and reassuring. I would give them a call if it’s an option.
So sorry to hear that he / you have had issues after the op ! No advice to provide you as when I had mine it was ok no problems soo sorry hope it gets back to normal
This don’t sound like it should be happening as the procedure isn’t meant to leave him with long term discomfort… I’d look at getting some medical advice on this from a nurse if easier to get an appointment with
Time for some doctor intervention
I have been through pain after vasectomy it is horrible and lasted for years so I feel for you
I honestly had no issues what so ever.
This has to be investigated by the doctor.
There should be no need so suffer any discomfort or anxiety from erection issues.
I had a vasectomy in August 2021, ever since then I have a constant numb/ache in one of the knackers, when I ejaculate either solo or with the wife, I have a pain as soon as eruption happens. Around a 6/7 out of 10.
Had an ultrasound which showed nothing wrong, had various visits to the doctors who again, can’t find anything.
Doctor is talking about maybe the pain will go if vasectomy is reversed!
I have mentioned the reason behind my vasectomy. And if a reversal is going to fix the problem then ok. But I’m not going through a lot of trouble for nothing.
I had no issues other than soreness for a few weeks and a sperm granuloma forming in my scrotum, to which my doctor said, “you’ll just need to get used to that being there.”
That being said, I do have a friend who got snipped and was one of those cases with long term pain and other issues. He is of the very strong opinion that many medical professionals do not go over the potential risks well enough, at least here in the states. I hope your partner is able to get some treatment and recover.
Hes not said he had any injection post vasectomy.
I agree, we contacted them but they don’t want to know, we kind of going in loops.
Hes in alot of pain, he was due for the post test but due to the issues we had not been able to clear the bank! LOL
Oh no that’s not good
Poor chap hope it is not long term pain like I have had.
Hes still not gone to the doctors, i keep prompting him too, since all this our relationship has taken a nose dive, no chemistry no nothing. I feel very frustrated at the moment, am i being selfish feeling like that?
Some may of seen another post where at one point i was going to leave as been on a rollercoaster with him but now back to where we are in a shit place.
I apologize for the essay length of this post, and don’t simultaneously. It’s something that resonated with me that I’m very passionate about, and genuinely hope can help others see from a different angle. Because I’ve dealt with “it,”communication - or the lack there of, and its significance for a relationship, from both sides of the fence in the same relationship just in different circumstances.
I have no right nor intention to judge your relationship. And I don’t know the specifics so please don’t compare my hypothetical to your situation (other than hypothetically) as it’s not meant to be, but just a different perspective type thing.
If my GF had a partial hysterectomy (for whatever reason, presumably the reason your partner had a vasectomy), that was done years before I met her that caused us problems after? Well, She did, but the reasons were different and medically required, and the complications are that she’s easily bruised internally/deep bleeding/sometimes extremely painful intercourse with no regard to gentleness. And, that she can’t have any more children, but desperately wants to have mine and vice versa. I did not know this the first time the complications exhibited.
When I’ve bruised her too deeply and or made her bleed so profusely, I’m the one who got her to go get checked, especially the first time before I knew what was causing the problem. She didn’t want to go because she was afraid I would leave her if I found out (I later learned). I drove her to the ER when she kept insisting she was ok and “this just happens randomly.” I knew it didn’t randomly happen the way it was being exhibited and I was genuinely worried about her and I had only known her a week or so at most that first time.
Well. I have been frustrated by those complications. I have dealt with a rollercoaster (of her emotions about how she’s not good enough, “a normal woman,” etc comments), none of which are true to me, but are true to her nonetheless. And a rollercoaster of my own that really couldn’t be shown to her, or spoken, due to the emotionally traumatized state I found her in and helped remove her from. Because of the fear she had already hesitantly expressed to me, and the knowledge that my rollercoaster would just exacerbate that fear for her.
Maybe I’m lucky that she’s a woman and more emotionally able to speak than most men are. But, that didn’t come naturally to her, and came at a cost of years of teaching her it was ok to be emotionally open and vulnerable instead (because of her past.) Meaning essentially she had to be comforted into being emotionally open and vulnerable. Which I think is an accurate depiction of most men and maybe your partners?
In the beginning our emotional states were reversed by necessity due to her past and how she would internalize it all. (Like a man is known for doing more often than not). I had to be the one to show by example that without “it” - emotional openness, vulnerability and communication, that the relationship would just stagnate eventually and “fizzle,” regardless of how good the sex was. I had to express my fears and vulnerabilities first, to help her understand it was kind of not optional for a relationship to last without that, and that it was safe for her to do that as well, afterwards. (Like a woman is known for doing first, more often than not).
That time and effort and understanding paid off though. Because, years later, the relationship is more than just sex for us, even though it never really was in the beginning for me or for her. It just had to be communicated and safely expressed and heard for her to lose that fear/concept. Despite how clearly sex addict level of importance sex is to me. (And to her as well, and to any wondering yes, it’s a healthy and always there level of importance for her, that existed before her past that objectified her). She’s worth it to me, no matter what the cost. Including no sex.
If the situation were reversed? And I had a vasectomy that resulted in years of painful erections. (Before or after we had met)? I’m sure it would cause a lot of arguments. Frustrations. But perhaps mostly? Self directed guilt, blame and feelings of “not being a real man.” And all the other negative emotions those should and probably are causing your partner to feel, that have no implication about how he feels about you, (in my opinion/hypothetical).
I can assure you, that while I can become visibly aroused at the slightest provocation, when it’s appropriate. It’s also equally true that if I get “in my head,” the entire PlayBoy Mansion in one bedroom with me wouldn’t get the slightest reaction from me. It’s happened to us, in our relationship, where I got in my head for various reasons. Mostly due to stress and anxiety about how to help her or us through or out of various situations that aren’t really appropriate to discuss here.
Those moments of being “in my head?” Have caused her stress, anxiety, frustration, and even feelings of doubt with regard to my interest in her, which is absurd in our situation, because I’m utterly gaga over her. But I understand why. Maybe worst of all though, it caused her to revisit her “worthlessness.” Which honestly annoyed me to no end because she’s worth more than just her sexual capacity. In her mind, to this day, she still feels deep down like her purpose is to be a sexual object, regardless of what I’ve had to help deprogram her from believing, with regard to her marriage and the way she was treated. Knowing all of that, didn’t help the “in my head,” situation any is all I can say.
I don’t have painful erections from a vasectomy. But I understand the emotional pain both of you are likely going through as a result of this unfortunate situation. All I know, is if the hypothetical situation were reversed and she left me because of the situation that is your partners. Unfortunate and frustrating as it rightly can and reasonably should be. I would know deep down, that to her. I failed her, not because I wanted to. Not because I wasn’t still desirous of her in every way. Not because of realistically anything about her, but about my fears and anxieties and concerns instead. Because I couldn’t give her what she needed because of an operation. I wouldn’t consider it selfish, I would understand it even if I didn’t want to. But I would still feel even more worthless, “not a real man,” and insert other toxic masculinity statements here as a result.
But if I knew she was thinking of leaving me? I would make myself talk about it to keep it from happening.
So I submit to you one question(s). Does he have a clue you are thinking about leaving him, and/or does he have the capacity to openly discuss this with you?
Because if he does or doesn’t, and you’re feeling those understandable feelings, is he worth talking to before leaving, or are you past that point no matter what he feels because you’ve been emotionally blunted over time as a result of how this has made you feel?
There is no right or wrong answer. And you don’t have to answer here, so please don’t feel pressured to. (And further neither answer makes you selfish).
I have no right, nor does anyone else, to interfere nor intervene in your relationship. I’m just asking you, for you, to consider for your best interests.
Its FINALLY happened! 
After months and months and pain eased a bit a few days ago we finally was able to do the deed late last night/early morning this morning.
He said there was a little pain this morning but not like usual.