It's about time 🎉🎊

Sex Tips & Talk
1

So I've been talking to this lad on a dating app and Sunday we met up. For reasons I won't go into it was too packed for our liking so we had a little "date" just sat in his car by the boating lake having a chat. He previously mentioned his curiousity over my jiggle balls so I took them with me and showed him. After our little "date" I didn't think I'd hear from him (to be fair I was shocked he didn't stand me up like all other previous men have ever done and he was who he said he was too!) but he messaged me as soon as he had his tea which was waiting for him when he got in and I confessed that 1. I'd been horny sat with him 2. I was watching the odd little Twitter porn clip whilst he messaged his mate so teasingly he was like ohh you should've just started playing I would've joined in and then just slip the balls in I wouldn't have minded. Sunday we made a sex bet which got rearranged to today (I won) and we have spent since Sunday talking about having sex and well I've just with his permission of course booked us a room for Thursday 18th. It's not going to be particularly long and he keeps telling me he won't be that good either and will probably cum quickly as he hasn't had it in a while but that doesn't bother me.

Any ideas on thing I need to do or remember? We've already discussed a lot I feel. He knows I'm a virgin, I'm bring lube, he's bringing protection. Obviously thinking sexy underwear under my normal clothes thinking LH knickers and (REMOVED BY MODERATOR)  bra (haven't got anything that matches lol but is stockings and suspenders too far?)

Think I'm still in shock that Sunday went so well and the fact is he still wants to see me and go further despite the fact that I look like crap lol

2

From a resonably in my opinion inexperienced guy, modest 2 partners and that's how I intend it to stay.

Me and an Ex attempted to arrange something similar when were younger, it would have been both our first times and the pair of us put such a hype and buzz around the whole thing it actually became a bit of a lemon making things awkward and ultimately never happened, thinking back on it part of me as a guy wanted rid of the virgin stigma before I went to college but then I grew up and realised seriously who gives a F.

Don't overthink it make sure your comfortable and happy with the whole situation, don't be afraid to say stop! Especially if he has some experience he should be pandering to you ;) make him work for it worst case scenario you'll know if he's any good at looking after you sexually at this point, if he does all the right things I'm sure it will come naturally and you'll have fun..

I hope you love it, everyone on here it's safe to say is hooked in one way or another :P

3

Thank you and yeah we've already discussed a lot of things and still are now but I'm sure I'll enjoy it.

I'm sure he'll take good care of me and oh I know to say stop if needs be x

4

Umm... make sure it really (as in "REALLY!") is what you want, particularly on the emotional level. While physical harm is obviously difficult to cope with, psychological scars run much deeper... I suppose that in the case you feel, well, somewhat insecure and vulnerable, it may not be the wisest decision ever to simply "get rid of your V-card" without actually feeling safe and comfortable with the person you want to sleep with... A certain level of, well, "emotional closeness" might be... a bit better than simply arranging a sexual encounter through dirty Twitter (and one short meeting).

5

It's not through dirty Twitter and I see what you mean I feel perhaps there is a fair bit of closeness between us and emotional wellness too.

6

It's not through dirty Twitter and I see what you mean I feel perhaps there is a fair bit of closeness between us and emotional wellness too.

7

Glad to hear you had a successful date with the guy. I'm not surprised he still wants to see you. You are a lovely person ![](upload://ez5kOkpKXRZOxjavAURYmQxVTau.gif)

In terms of what to wear, the most important thing is that you feel comfortable. If suspenders will give you some confidence, wear them. If they will make you feel over-dressed or self-conscious, don't. Nice pants and a bra are more than enough though.

On to a few safety and wellbeing points:

Make sure someone knows where you are. Have your phone charged and with credit in case anything goes wrong or you just want to check in with a friend (afterwards you may well want to tell a friend all about it). Having sex for the first time can bring up a lot of emotions. Having a friend who can offer emotional support might be a good idea. You may just want to tell them how amazing it was but it might also be an anticlimax, or even negative, and a good friend is always helpful.

He's bringing protection, which is great and obviously very sensible, but, if possible, bring your own in case he forgets. If he does and you can't bring your own, do not listen if he claims to be STI-free or says he will pull out (not an effective method of contraception). I think you are far too sensible to do that, but I'm saying it in case anyone in a similar situation reads this post.

You say you have booked the room. Does this mean you have agreed to pay for it or will he be giving you half? If he doesn't give you half, will you be able to afford it? I hate to be negative but people can be dicks and you don't want to be left with a bill you can't afford.

What do you mean by "It's not going to be particularly long"? Do you mean you are just meeting for sex and won't be spending the night together? If that is what you mean, it sets off alarm bells for me. If you mean he is saying he won't last long, that's a completely different thing and it is probably just a sign he is a little lacking in confidence, which is totally normal.

Finally, like others have mentioned, you need to be sure you want to do this. I don't think losing your virginity to someone you don't love or aren't in a relationship with is a bad thing, but you do need to be sure. I lost my virginity to a guy I met in a club (not in the club, we met up about a week later) and I knew it was never going to be a relationship, but I was happy with that. I'm not trying to talk you out of it at all, you just need to be sure that if you never see him again, you'll be ok with that. Of course, there is no reason this would be a one time thing, but just being aware of the possibility is important.

If you are sure you want to do this, have fun!

8

In my honest opinion i'd wait, each to their own but sex on a second date? Spending time talking about sex isn't my idea of getting to know one another. x

9

I will keep this brief, there is a lot of good advice here already, and I don't want to sound patronising, but. . . .

I wouldn't do it. There are a lot of sitatuions and feelings that no amount of chatting will preparing you for. You might feel confident in saying what you want (and more importantly what you don't want) but when your face to face with someone it's a very different situation.

If you have looked round the forum there are a lot of posts from people who are in long term relationships asking for advice on how to introduce something different, or stop something that they are not happy with. I'm just saying it might be much harder than you think.

Make sure you let someone you trust (parent, very good friend) know exactly where you are going and when you will be back. Also agree an emergency word, (eg. Coffee) and if you text "coffee" to your friend that he or she will know you are in trouble and need help. It pays to be prepaired, you may have met this man but you don't know him. He could be very different when you get your clothes off, and as Briona said a bad experience could cause huge emotional problems for you.

That being said, he might be a perfect gentleman. He might be kind and caring. Please take your own protection, just in case.

I hope that if you go through with this that you have a good time, but I can't stress enough how important it is to keep yourself safe.

10

Think I'm probably going to be in the minority here but if it's what you BOTH want, then go for it. Just make sure you have the necessary protection, friend on stand by etc. It's all very well to say wait for the perfect guy, and I suppose in an ideal world we all would but he might turn out to be just that but and you'll never know if you don't try, so to speak. He sounds lovely, and I know you are. Why shouldn't you have a bit of fun if that's what you want ?

Yes losing your virginity, having sex etc is an emotional experience..... but surely that's a part of it. Everyone always says 'wait until you feel ready' but to be honest if I'd done that I'd be a 50 year old virgin ! Only you can know if this all feels right for you and him. If it dosent, don't do it. If it feels right, then enjoy yourselves. Just take things slowly and if at any point you feel the need to stop or slow down, say so. Also keep in mind that this may just be a bit of fun for him. If you're not prepared for that and you want something more then this needs to be discussed first xx

11

Thanks guys I will bring protection just in case he doesn't.

We've spoken more than just sex it's just lately we've been talking about sex more.

The rooms cheap so I can always pay full if needs be, we didn't really discuss payment but he did keep fretting over the price of the room and what date to make sure he had money so not sure but he might be paying half.

I'm already planning on letting my best friend know and giving her a safe word to come rescue me but he's already mentioned it that we won't pressure me and if I don't want to I don't have to.

I think you're right Terri JJ if I keep waiting for the right man I'll end up dying a virgin. I thought i had the right man and lost him before we had sex. This guy is brilliant too though bless him.

I'm kind of prepared for things like him never wanting to see me again. I always prepare negatively which sounds bad but it's true. Like our date I was prepared for him to stand me up or for him to be nothing like who he said he was but I got a lovely surprise when I saw him sat there waiting for me.

Hopefully he can be my FWB I'm not sure think we'll see how this first round goes then go from there but if it's the last time I kind of expected it.

12

This is my two penneth .

Yes I agree with most of the others . sex for me is a little to soon . But I know you quite well ,you are a strong willed lass and I know you have been waiting for this for some time . So no amount of advice from any of us is going to stop you ? Right ?

However I still think you need to play safe and cautious .

Safe Sex survival kit

1 @ Pack of condoms

1 @ pack of baby wipes

1 @ mobile phone to keep in contact with a friend and for emergencies .

For you to have a successful evening you MUST stay in control of the whole evening and take it slowly ..

Dress- Again cautious for me . By all means wear your best frilies . I wouldn't wear stockings on this occasion as I would want you to wear your normal pair of jeans and perhaps a nice top. Jeans will help you keep in control better and do everything on your terms .

It would be a good idea perhaps to have some alcoholic drinks to settle any nerves but not to get slewed .

To set the tone for the evening and to put him in his place , when you are ready gently remove his top but keep yours on for a while . If he tries to take your top just slap his hand gently and say something lke "Easy Tiger not just yet" Then remove your own or let him when you think its the right time .Listen to your body and heart here . In between you both should be exploring each others bodies ,caressing and kissing. Slowly undress each other as you go along. But whatever you do keep your knickers on for now . When he is down to his boxers gently remove them and at this point wipe your hands with the baby wipes ( to remove any body fluids both yours and his ) and then place the condom on him. If you trust him then let him by all means place his own condom on but make sure he also wipes his hands before placing it on. Only when the condom is on then its safe for you to remove your own knickers and perhaps then slip betwen the sheets .

If for any reason you don't feel comfortable enough for penatrative sex then don't go through with it. Do a hand job on him instead. If you havn't seen a naked guy before in the flesh then this whole thing could be quite scary but exciting at the same time but keep in control ,communicate and don't rush things .

On a last note I just sincerely hope that you want to lose your virginity here for the right reasons .

13

I am a bit torn on this. On instinct, I would be kind of tempted to say don't do it like this. But I would be a hypocrite as my experience is similar. I was a virgin and had a boyfriend who nagged me about it. We split. But then I realised I was ready and wanted to be over and done with. I was a UK legal aged teenager at the time. So I was prepared at all times. At a ball the opportunity kind of presented itself with a member of a group of friends. I knew him, but not that well (he was quite older than me). We ended up at his place after the ball and had sex. We resorted to the condom I had with me, as he wasn't at all prepared for that to happen then and there. It went all well. I was more than prepared to end the experience there. But it was him who wanted more and so for a while it became a relationship. I broke it off due to other reasons. And then for 3 years after we ended up together for a few months around the 'anniversary' of the deed. I never regretted how and when I lost my virginity. And you do sound ready Kirsty, and like someone who has thought it through. So what I'm trying to say is: being ready is the only requirement on your part. Having the perfect man or being madly in love or having had many "non sexual dates" beforehand with him or similar circumstances are not essential. If you are ready, go for it, and take it as it comes, without all the emotional drama surrounding it. Hope you'll have a good one.

14

Kirsty, please be careful on this one. It's great you have found a nice guy , but you need to be sure this is the right way.

I would get to know him a little first and if he likes you too then he will be happy to wait.

Take Care xx

15

Thanks guys we've been talking quite a while and not just sexually we talk about normal stuff but it came up after I told him how horny I was in the car after the first time we met.

Mysteron I think that sounds spot on the only thing is he's a little body concious so doesn't want his top taking off says it he never has his top off but doesn't mind if I stroke his chest under it (he says he's fat but he's truly not but doesn't like his tummy being touched so obviously I respect that and will just gently stroke his chest) I won't wear my stockings and suspenders he's actually asked if I'll wear an old pair of leggings so he can rip a hole in them and have sex with me through that and I'm wearing a vest top because I know he wants easy access to my boobs but he's only getting it when I say he can we won't be rushing straight into it and I know I don't have to do anything I don't want to he's not going to pressure me. We talked about naughty stuff on the first date before meeting up and he was like I'll never force you and he was right he was a good boy and didn't bring it up

16

Thats OK .

If you are wearing leggings then don't bother with the knickers otherwise they could just get in the way or accidently ripped. but still wear a pair of jeans intitally over the top with your leggings acting like tights .I would be tempted to make the "ripped hole " yourself prior to the meet as it may get "clumsy and fumbly" on the night.

It sounds like niether of you are getting totally naked which isn't a bad thing on such an ealry date .

Just think safe sex all the time and enjoy.

17

No I don't think we will be and yeah I might do I already told him I'm bringing spare clothes as he plans on ripping my leggings and in case he cums all over my stuff which he did warn may happen but yeah I might even if it's only a starting snip cut a little hole then let him tear the rest as big as he desires.

He's a little worried that he'll be bad or hell cum too soon but I keep soothing him telling him it'll be fine and as its my first time I'm hardly going to last a marathon. I just hope we go ahead and do it might even take a toy or two (I've already discussed I'm wearing my jiggle balls for his fancy and I'm bringing my mini wand to try on him and maybe something if I have the energy for fun afterwards when he's not there although I'm not expecting I'll have the energy)

I just don't see the point in waiting for the one. I had that guy and because of distance of 5 months passed with nothing even though we wanted to.

18

Kirsty92 wrote:

No I don't think we will be and yeah I might do I already told him I'm bringing spare clothes as he plans on ripping my leggings and in case he cums all over my stuff which he did warn may happen but yeah I might even if it's only a starting snip cut a little hole then let him tear the rest as big as he desires.

He's a little worried that he'll be bad or hell cum too soon but I keep soothing him telling him it'll be fine and as its my first time I'm hardly going to last a marathon. I just hope we go ahead and do it might even take a toy or two (I've already discussed I'm wearing my jiggle balls for his fancy and I'm bringing my mini wand to try on him and maybe something if I have the energy for fun afterwards when he's not there although I'm not expecting I'll have the energy)

I just don't see the point in waiting for the one. I had that guy and because of distance of 5 months passed with nothing even though we wanted to.

NO do the hole for him. My alarm bells are just ringing a little here as could resemble a rape scene with the ripping of clothes . Emotions will also be flowing etc. He'll end up making a mess of it as well probably. so its bst that you do it for him . Keep your jeans on as long as you can and only take them off if you feel comfortable. At any stage you feel uncomforable you must stop.

Make sure you keep your lady parts away from any of his body fluids including precum . Like wise he should take similar precautions .

19

Kirsty im saying this because i care, but it doesnt sound good!

The only time you have met was in his car, not in public which already sounds like risky behaviour. The meet up sounds awful. Youve paid for a room but you will be there longer than him? So is he literally turning up for a quickie and then going home?

I really feel like you could be horribly let down by expecting more than he is willing to give. Why will he be in such a rush to leave after kniwing that this will be your first time?

20

I'll put the hole in but I personally didn't mind the thought of him tearing my clothes kinda a kinky fantasy to be with a guy who wants you that badly he'll tear your clothes to get to them.

It was in a very public place but he's always been open about his anxiety I just didn't realise how crowded it would be down by me because mid winter it's not usually busy but we went to where it was very public we just didn't want to leave his car. To be fair to him it was absolutely heaving.

Im kind of expecting it not to be long but it's not just sex and leave we aren't gonna jump straight in and he's not just going to leave straight away he knows it's the first time he's just not gonna spend hours and hours with me which I'm not expecting either I've got things to do can't just disappear half the day and all the night