We have a very happy marriage two wonderful kids and a great sex life, but as we both approach our fifties we are having to consider this. My wife is an amazing woman is not prone to mood swings and her periods are normally very regular. Over the last 6 months they are less regular and vary in length. We have talked about it a few months ago but this last one has gone on for two weeks.
I try to be as considerate as I can and I don't like asking for a BJ or HJ as I don't think it is fair if she can't have anything. She doesn't like any sexual activity for herself when it's her TOM.
Like so many things it is difficult to to help or support when you don't understand what is happening to someone. I have read up on menopause but the information is so conflicting and can effect women in such different ways.
We are very physical kiss and cuddle a lot but this only makes me horny, just touching her makes me turned on. She hasn't turned me down or anything yet. But would love some views on this.
Hi GG,
I know this is not what your asking about but if your wife decides to go for hrt, please get her to stay away from Premarin. It is made from pregnant mares urine and the horses are kept it terrible conditions. There are plenty of synthetic alternatives available, just get her to ask her doctor.
I'm not really sure what to say about you getting turned on every time you touch her. Just I know when I have my period that hugs and kisses help get me through it!
I'm sure other members will be very helpful, (as always!) And give you great advice!
CH
It's a whole new world when one of you suddenly can't do what you have been used to.
I can see how you want things to be great for both of you, and that's fine, but while you don't want to become selfish, there's no harm and probably some good in breaking your rule a bit here.
With me, it's been the other way round so I've had time when I can't please Mrs. P. as I would like. For me, the problem was getting her to enjoy things that don't involve me having an orgasm. I really wasn't that upset that I couldn't do it properly, but I was finidng it hard that she wouldn't take 'yes' for an answer and let me pleasure her just for her sake.
It's quite likely your Mrs is feeling something like that - menopause and other bodily changes are a big bummer for women, but if you can explore new option together there are lots of ways of enjoying each other physically without having your dick doing all the work. Short-term, a hand-job or two isn't going to bust your relationship, and if the two of you are working together to find new ways of approaching sex - which may even be temporary depending on how it goes for your wife's menopause - then I don't think an occasional bit of one-sided satisfaction is bad. In fact, it has beneiftis in that it forces the non-orgasmic partner to focus entirely on the other's pleasure, which even later in life can be an education.
In short, I'd say try not to get too hung up about unfairness but be sure you're both talking things through and looking for new pleasures to enjoy together.
I decided not to have HRT; it solves the problems short term but you have to stop it some time and face the symptoms. The irregular periods bit lasted less than a year for me and then just stopped, wonderful. The mood swings lasted longer and the "flushing" still affects me sometimes 8 years on.
So, GG, it won't last forever.
I agree with MrP; that a bit of one sided-satisfaction is fine for a while, coupled with lots of hugs and kisses. Then focus on your wife (as I know you love to do!) when she is in the mood.
Good luck; sex after the menopause is fabulous.
Don't let her read your thread on the joys of tasting a woman's wetness. Menopause is difficult enough already.
I should have said " sex after the menopause is fabulous, but needs LUBE"
Thanks all I am not sure yet but it's a good chance it is. I wouldn't want her to have HRT of any sort but I guess that is her choice it's her body.
Hello Giant my wife has beeen going through for at 5 yrs she use to get a shot that helped but got tired of the shots and some worrries about ostiose i know not right spellling. Since she has not taken the shots the pms is real bad i wish she would take the shots also these shots were given for birth control which we dont need she had tubes tied but the pms is bad i about ready to leave no need to say anything to her just start a argument good luck giant
tinytheturtle wrote:
Hello Giant my wife has beeen going through for at 5 yrs she use to get a shot that helped but got tired of the shots and some worrries about ostiose i know not right spellling. Since she has not taken the shots the pms is real bad i wish she would take the shots also these shots were given for birth control which we dont need she had tubes tied but the pms is bad i about ready to leave no need to say anything to her just start a argument good luck giant
Hi 3t's , that's so sad sorry to hear this. We're you happy together sexually before the menopause? If you love your woman you most not give up. If you cannot discuss it write her a letter but try to be positive tell her you love her and just want her but you need the physical side too.
I guess I am lucky my wife will nearly allways do something for me, it just doesn't feel great asking that's all.
I am wondering if someone tried maybe some herbs to deal with some of the symptons? I am currently looking at herbs as I have menstruation problems, really bad ones, and I do not want hormones unless I really really have to. I am one of the womans, for whom it will likely cause more problems than it would solve.
I would expect some herbs may also bit help with menopause.
I am 47 Three years ago pmt was so bad I had to go back on antidepressants today I am still on them, they help also with the night sweats also have to have propanol for the migraines I have told no way am I to have hrt, and I haven't even started yet. Please keep reasuring your wife best pick up a cuddle.
kittencub wrote:
I am 47 Three years ago pmt was so bad I had to go back on antidepressants today I am still on them, they help also with the night sweats also have to have propanol for the migraines I have told no way am I to have hrt, and I haven't even started yet. Please keep reasuring your wife best pick up a cuddle.
Laveila wrote:
I am wondering if someone tried maybe some herbs to deal with some of the symptons? I am currently looking at herbs as I have menstruation problems, really bad ones, and I do not want hormones unless I really really have to. I am one of the womans, for whom it will likely cause more problems than it would solve.
I would expect some herbs may also bit help with menopause.
Thanks both , sorry for your own issues my OH isn't this bad yet, but I feel I should be ready and understand what is going on. My own mum had a torrid time ending in a hysterectomy.
Gentle giant wrote:
kittencub wrote:
I am 47 Three years ago pmt was so bad I had to go back on antidepressants today I am still on them, they help also with the night sweats also have to have propanol for the migraines I have told no way am I to have hrt, and I haven't even started yet. Please keep reasuring your wife best pick up a cuddle.
Laveila wrote:
I am wondering if someone tried maybe some herbs to deal with some of the symptons? I am currently looking at herbs as I have menstruation problems, really bad ones, and I do not want hormones unless I really really have to. I am one of the womans, for whom it will likely cause more problems than it would solve.
I would expect some herbs may also bit help with menopause.
Thanks both , sorry for your own issues my OH isn't this bad yet, but I feel I should be ready and understand what is going on. My own mum had a torrid time ending in a hysterectomy.
Thank you GG I'm doing OK now still have what I call hormonal days now and again I just go to bed and stay there, till it passes, headaches have improved a lot I daredn't come off the the tablets for that, period wise some OK like last time month before two weeks of pain and only one week of bleed so just seeing what happens now over the next few years.