Let's have a chat about our forum...Battle of the threads!

Inside Lovehoney
1

Hello all 

Some of you may have seen my recent post about the forum becoming saturated with the same discussions, if not this is what I said: 

I fear this thread has moved on to one like many others we have: 

Tea and Sympathy 

Rant alert 

Insomniacs Unite 

The truth and get it out thread 

Good morning,afternoon,evening 

These threads are also much the same and I am worried the forum is becoming saturated with the same discussions, in turn this is not allowing other member's to join in.

Please do have a look what you are going to post and if it may be best to have a discussion else where please do so. 

Please do think about the thread title and the topic it has turned to. One of our rules is to stay on topic and not to spam the forum. Now spamming can be considered repeating the same discussions in other areas of the community.

Plus I am sure you all don't want to be repeating the same topics ![cheeky|20x20](upload://5BDs2y1gm13l2R58ovmAMxyNM3f.gif "cheeky")

So I shall be looking at these threads soon in finer detail to see if maybe we can stop this repeatation. This may result in some closing down- sorry 

I have started going through these threads and decided it would be good to get some input form you guys. After all you use the threads more than me. I just have to read it all ![wink|20x20](upload://h7LJ67OOrR57VDYrj5ZEwwHAfLG.gif "wink")

So here are the threads under investigation due to one one one chat, off topic discussions and being of similar or in some cases the same content. 

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/1382541-rant-alert-2016/

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/1438446-tea-and-sympathy-thread/

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/1483456-insomniacs-unite/

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/1510864-the-truth-and-get-it-out-thread/

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/1205987-good-morning-evening-afternoon-part-twenty/page-473/

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/1363070-what-are-you-doing-right-now-pt2/page-159/

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/1363070-what-are-you-doing-right-now-pt2/page-159/ 

*Most of the posts that are of concern have now been hidden* 

It has also had a knock on effect to the froum becoming glitchy.The amount that has had to be edited, deleted ,hidden by myself and Jess has caused major link problems. You may have seen a few threads closed and re-started due to this issue.

Please comment below with the thread(s) you desperately wish to keep and the reason(s) why. From this we can think about how to use these threads to allow them to wotk for you without repetition or off topic discussions.

Sadly I can not change the forum so please no suggestions on that , this is soley to help more discussions happen far more openly. After all we are here to offer sexual advise too. I still wish for you all to chat about life and how you all are but I fear this is happening on most threads now. Moving away from what the OP was loooking for. 

I will make a final decision based on this all at the end of the week but your input would really help me understand how you would liek to see this work. 

So let the battle of threads commence... 

2

The good morning thread has to stay, it's the best place for friendly banter and general day to day comments, I for one would be gutted to see it go.

I would also say that the reant thread and the tea/sympathy thread are functionally different, as one is for venting anger/frustration, and the other is for more sickness/day to day gripes.

If I had to see one go, it would probably be the 'truth and get it out' as that one in my mind functions the same way as rant thread would if you simply put a 'no replies please, just venting' note at the end.

Hope my opinion makes sense.

3

+1 Shadow

That's the three treads I would like to keep most

4

Sxleksaker wrote:

+1 Shadow

That's the three treads I would like to keep most

+2

I would choose these ones too :) xx

5

Shadow Collector wrote:

I would also say that the reant thread and the tea/sympathy thread are functionally different, as one is for venting anger/frustration, and the other is for more sickness/day to day gripes.

That is what I thought too, but it seems they are used as both ranting and feeling unwell/ gripes etc. 

I think they have been desigend to be used in the way suggested but have not been sadly. So it could just need clarification on which is for what etc maybe.. 

6

Lovehoney - Leanne wrote:

That is what I thought too, but it seems they are used as both ranting and feeling unwell/ gripes etc.

I think they have been desigend to be used in the way suggested but have not been sadly. So it could just need clarification on which is for what etc maybe..

I'd agree with that summary... guess either one has to go or the purpose of both threads need to be reclarified.

7

I have to say the only ones out of that lot that I'd like to see stay is the ' truth and get it out ' thread simply because it's an area where you can say what's on your mind without wanting any kind of advice ..just to get something off your chest and maybe the ' Good/morning/afternoon/evening one but then I can see how easily it is for people to go off topic so to speak when using it .
I suppose my reasons for not being that bothered about the other threads us because I actually rarely use them ,I tend to mainly post ( with the exception of the ' get it off ' weight loss support one ) in relation to a specific question that someone asks if I feel I've got some advice to offer .
Hope that doesn't make me sound a bit unfriendly....I'm really not :)

8

Okay, I don't always use all of those thread often these days, but having used them in the past I'm still going to chime in, because I'm like that :p

I think I'd say the Good Morning thread and the rant thread should stay. The Good morning thread is so varied, pretty much anything can occur in there, so if you need tea and sympathy it can totally be offered up in there and quite often is.

I always found the what are you doing right now thread a bit random, because surely no matter what you write, what you are actually doing right at that moment is going on this forum, hence you abitility to post in the thread!

:)

9

Hmm. That's a tough one.

I like the good morning/afternoon/evening thread as it's one of the few threads you can simply pop in, leave a wee message and pop out again. Conversation tends to be light hearted, positive (or at least not as negative in nature as the rant thread), and in my opinion it's the easiest thread to just jump in and join in with without touching the game threads, which obviously don't offer anything in the way of conversation. I don't think there are any other threads where you can just post to say hello/post about nothing in particular, so I'd like this one to stay if possible!

The rant alert thread I'd like to see stick around too because it's good to have one place for heavier or more emotional posts. People who aren't in the mind set to deal with heavier stuff can avoid the thread, people who want to help out know where to go and people who want to rant can do so without worrying about dragging a thread down. It's a useful thread.

I think the tea and sympathy thread has a different function to the rant thread, it's easy to feel like your rant isn't as serious as someone elses and from what I gather that stops a lot of people posting, or makes them feel the need to apologise. How many times have you read a post starting 'I was going to rant but...' or 'I feel really bad/silly/selfish writing this after reading that but...'? I think it'd be good to have both stick around so people who feel their 'rants' are less serious or more of a whine than a rant have somewhere they can post without feeling the need to apologise for it. Plush like Shadow said, one is more angry and one is more sad/sick/general stress in nature. I am not sure rolling these two threads into one would work out well, considering someone felt the need to start a seperate thread in the first place, if that makes sense.

What are you doing right now has similar functionality to the good morning/afternoon thread and while the truth and get it out thread was a great idea, people can't help but give advice so there's no real point to it. Those are the two I'd drop, if we have to drop any.

Sorry for the long post, hopefully it makes sense at least lol

11

I agree with Lovebirds. I think what are you doing right now isn't a very useful thread, and you could easily say your plans for the day in the good morning thread. I checked out the insominiacs thread recently because I've developed insomnia but I found it to be much the same as tea and sympathy. I felt awkard to just jump in to talk about not being able to sleep when people are going through such tough times. It immediately made me want to offer emotional support and sympathy, but I feel like my advice wouldn't add much to the support people are already getting from thier friends on the forum. I often read tea and sympathy and feel the same way. Don't get me wrong, I think it is fantastic that people have developed such close support networks on this forum :) I just wish I was better at offering support. I know twitter mention has been completely shut down, and I completely understand why, but sometimes I think these close friendships and support would be better continued in private, where people can continue offering their mutual support and friendship to each other.

I like the the truth and get is out thread simply because I feel like I can post something that's weighing on my mind without feeling like I'm an awful person for not offering advise for all the other people who are suffering, and without the worry I'll just look like I'm after attention. I think like many members I overthink things, and this thread has remained quite open to just posting how you feel without any come back.

Hmm, this is going to be a really tough decision for you guys.

12

I would really miss the "truth and get it out thread". It functions completely differently to all the other threads mentioned. However, I do understand if it has to go, as it's not as popular as the others.

13

Also if any of you feel other threads are working on a similar scale please let us know.

Thank you for the comments so far.

It will be a tough choice but sadly one we need to make as it is becoming increasingly difficult to moderate with the same issues cropping up. Warnings , emails and posts have been made by myself and Jess and now we feel it's time to look at these threads in more detail with you all. 

14

I don't really use any of the threads mentioned.

I feel like the whole community has changed and is why I rarely post these days. I know we all have problems and there is some fantastic advice given, but I feel like I almost have to compare myself to others and think "how dare I be so depressed/low/anxious" when there are people worse off than me and then I want to punish myself further, when I shouldn't .

Sometimes it feels like people are competing with each other, as to who deserves the most sympathy.

15

Purring-Pussy wrote:

I don't really use any of the threads mentioned.

I feel like the whole community has changed and is why I rarely post these days. I know we all have problems and there is some fantastic advice given, but I feel like I almost have to compare myself to others and think "how dare I be so depressed/low/anxious" when there are people worse off than me and then I want to punish myself further, when I shouldn't .

Sometimes it feels like people are competing with each other, as to who deserves the most sympathy.

🙌

16

My only real request is that the Good Morning Thread stays active

18

lmh95 wrote:

Shadow Collector wrote:

My only real request is that the Good Morning Thread stays active

+1. I think this is the one that is most important too as you can say really anything on there, as long as it's not against the rules :)

Totally agree.

19

Thank god this has become acknowledged. There are far too many discussions going on, newbies cannot join in let alone people who have been here a while (myself included) I've often tried to contribute in those kinda threads but get completely ignored. So now I just don't bother and mostly just comment on newbie threads and general question threads. I hope this gets knuckled down and managed

![](upload://ez5kOkpKXRZOxjavAURYmQxVTau.gif)

20

Not allowing me to edit post so I'm having to add another post

As you rightly say there are one to one conversations that could and should be took into pm else where and not clogging up the forum for others. I'm not particularly fussed about any of the threads. Also I think there are far too many of these game threads. Countless times I visit here and it's just games being discussed which I find boring and I don't get the point of them. The entire first page of the forum can be solely games quite often, which on a sex forum I just don't understand at all.

21

SquirtyPanda wrote:

Thank god this has become acknowledged. There are far too many discussions going on, newbies cannot join in let alone people who have been here a while (myself included) I've often tried to contribute in those kinda threads but get completely ignored. So now I just don't bother and mostly just comment on newbie threads and general question threads. I hope this gets knuckled down and managed

I've felt that way a fair bit too, it's really difficult to keep things open recently, this discussion has been a long time coming and I'm glad it finally has done.

Also, I have tried not to be part of the problem, but I wanted to apologise if I ever made anyone feel unwelcome or unwanted. It was never my intention. Here's to a more inclusive Lovehoney! :)

22

What about a thread revamp? Start them all afresh with the first post, by one of you lovely mods, as like a "rules" post. Like with the "good morning" thread you could say it's light hearted daily chit chat. "Tea and sympathy" from a blister to distress all problems are equal. If that makes any sense anyways. Or it may just be more work...