Looking for advice

Hi I’m joined this forum because I need to spice up our bedroom we have been together a very long time but I’m just too plain and need to no how to start as a beginner and what I need to purchase

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Hello :wave:

Mild BDSM seems to be a popular choice, role play, costume play, controlled toys. There are quite a few options at LH that sells items and clothes to help you play.
Have fun.

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Hi there @Nikkimul and welcome to the forum. :slightly_smiling_face:

From the way you’ve phrased your enquiry, I’m getting the impression that you’re worried you might be at risk of losing your partner’s affections because you feel they are bored/dissatisfied with your approach to sex. Is my instinct correct here?

The reason I ask this is that there is no one “set of tools” for adding variety/interest to your sex life: it’s entirely down to what kind of play appeals to you - and I mean both of you, not just your other half. Everyone here will help you as much as we can - we’re nice like that - but it’s difficult to suggest specific toys etc because everyone is different and we don’t know what kind of fun sparks your interest. We’ll probsbly have to do a fair bit more Q+A with you to find out where your interests lie.

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Hello! Have you had a chat with your partner about the types of things you might like to try? Or do you have any ideas in mind?

You could maybe start off by masturbating in front of one another, maybe tying them up and making them watch whilst you do it. That could be a nice place to start with.

Possibly invest in a blindfold and handcuffs maybe.

Maybe try some different positions together?

I would maybe get up the love honey website and have a look at some bits together and see what sparks you both. I often do this with my man.

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Spicing up your relationship is a completely unique thing; what one person loves, another will hate and charging off down the wrong path can often be as bad as doing nothing at all.

If you are comfortable sharing, what is it you feel your sex life is lacking? What is it that’s prompted this post?

If you aren’t comfortable giving more personal details, is there anything you’ve already looked at or anything that would be a definite no?

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Hi @Nikkimul, welcome to the forum! Are you wanting to spice things up for yourself or because you feel like you should? I’m just asking because it sounds like you are putting yourself down a bit by saying that you are “too plain”. There is nothing wrong with who you are and what you enjoy and you shouldn’t feel like you have to change because someone else told you too.

That being said, if you want to spice things up there are lots of options! Maybe start with some nice new lingerie that will make you feel confident and your partner will enjoy seeing you in? I would consider massage oils if you haven’t already tried giving each other a massage? You could even add in a blindfold for increased sensitivity.

Do you have any idea what sort of things you might be interested in trying? I would have a good chat with your partner and talk about what you would both like to try.

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Hi, welcome to the forum. Not much i can add to everyones excellent advice really, just wanted to say theres also some good resources on the site.
Lovehoney blog
toy and lingerie Guides
The forum is full of good topics, so having a read can often be really good way to come up with ideas. everyone is really friendly and helpful here.

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Hello and welcome @Nikkimul :slightly_smiling_face:

Hello and welcome :smiley: @Nikkimul

Welcome

Welcome to the forum :blush:

Hello and welcome @Nikkimul :wave:t2::blush:

Hi @Nikkimul

Welcome to lovehoney :slightly_smiling_face:

Hey :wave:

What would you like to explore in mostly? There’s so many options for spicing up the love life out and inside the bedroom.

Hello and welcome!! Lots of great people here more than willing to share the ins and outs of what works for them. Glad you are here to join in!

@Nikkimul hello and welcome!
Crikey… what an open question there. Sex life is so individual and everyone will have a different opinion be it toys, anal play, BDSM, lingerie etc. What works for one will definately not work for another and that’s just fine. If you and partner are happy with your sex life then thats great and may be no need to change anything.
I would hugely suggest you both having a conversation to see where you are and perhaps what you are both curious about. If it’s toys, have a look on the website and pick something together. If it’s BDSM (bondage, discipline, Dominant/submissive, sadist masochist) then research on line or start slowly with some simple cuffs and a blindfold. You may well find something within the umbrella of BDSM that intrigues you both. You get the picture though… talk talk and talk some more!
From a personal opinion, we are greedy. We like bits of everything although my husband is my dom (although we’re learning as we go and doing hours of research to ensure it’s all safe and for ideas). We practise impact play but also love anal play, toys, and a bit of vanilla sex thrown in for good measure.
All of this is talked about openly and we chat regularly about things and if they are working and if we need to change anything or if theres something one of us wants to try etc.
There’s no place for embarrassment and being offended in the bedroom. At the end of the day you’re both trying to achieve the same thing, and that’s having as much fun as possible!
Good luck with wherever you journey takes you xx

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Hi and welcome @Nikkimul :smiley:

Hello and welcome, just peruse the forums I am sure that you will see a topic that sparks your interest and never be afraid to ask advice or questions as you will receive friendly and honest answers from forum members.

Some good ideas have been suggested in the thread.