Absolutely gutted, tried to have sex twice in the past three days and both times lost my erection.
Extremely upsetting and feel useless, never ever had this problem before.
Guess I need to go see the docs.
Had brought OH to multiple orgasms before sex and she is very supportive and no pressure. Bleh.
Hi don't feel bad or down, I know how bad this problem makes most men feel, like they are lest of a man but that's not the case at all.
My partner has this problem it comes and goes, he has been the doctors so many times about it but they are not very helpful at all, it's been waiting over a year to get it sorted now.
But please don't feel down everyone has problems in the bedroom from time to time and I'm sure your partner really doesn't mind.
This came up recently (excuse the pun), so I'll link to that thread. This is almost certainly solvable though, but once it happens once you worry about it and the worry causes it to happen again and it justt gets worse and worse. Here's the other thread:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/818332-erectile-dysfunction-how-do-you-talk-about/
and welcome to the forum
I was just going to say StHubbins gave some excellent advice in a thread I posted.. you should definitely have a read :)
Don't feel useless! There can be any number of things affecting your ability to maintain an erection at the moment. Are you particularly stressed about something or worried? Had you been drinking? Do you smoke? Were you very tired? These can all affect performance, amongst other things.
Also if you're now worried about losing your erection you'll be putting pressure on yourself for next time...which won't help your erection! My partner has suffered with this for most of his life but it is certainly psychological with him rather than a physical problem.
If you're worried about it then see your doc, put your mind at rest, just in case there is anything underlying. Otherwise I'd just see how you go over the next couple of weeks.
Your OH being supportive is good, do talk to her about it if your worried.
I'm sorry you feel like that Ste, sometimes loss of erections can be due to stress.
Also when you're putting yourself down as useless ect it isn't making it any easier on yourself, I would try and over come it, otherwise you're going to dwell on it which could cause problems in the future. My ex lost it once with me like you said there was no pressure from myself, but it played on his mind and like you he felt useless so when it came to us next having sex he was over thinking it and lost it again, this continued until he felt so useless he then didn't want to do anything at all sex wise which caused a lot of pressure between us.
I don't have a penis and it may be easier said then done, but I'd try not to over think it, relax a little bit and enjoy it more than worry.
GL xx
Always under stress but no more than usual, did notice upon checking that one of my medications (Gabapentin) for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Chronic Pain Syndrome can cause ED so maybe that's it.
Just very very strange as never happened before.
Have made docs appointment just in case.
Thanks for the support by the way, you are all lovely lovely people and I appreciate your posts very very much.
I don't masturbate often, but it happened with that too, lol. Don't watch porn, don't smoke, don't drink (one drink every few months due to medication) so no influences like that.
Hiya Ste
My partner also as Chronic Fatigue,he went to the doctor and he was prescribed viagra,which works very well for him,he doesnt need it all time on a rare occasion but its there for when he does need some help, which i think for us its a great help and takes a lot of bedroom performance pressure off him,i know that he can find it at times upsetting not being able to get an errection on demand, but its just one of those things it happens and we work through, with medication or some other way, cock rings have been good for us you will get sorted we was once where you are
your partner seems very supportive, dont get yourself down,im sure that a quick check up at the doctors would be a great help for you,and most of all you are not useless you are ill it does not make you useless lots of men have these issues sex is not everything,
Hi there I have had this problem for the last year and a half. What I found helpful was to avoid planning a night of fun, just try to do it spontaneously. The more time you have to think about it the more stressed and worried you will become about it working . I also used medication and found it helpful. Also , we bought a hollow strap-on which I found very helpful and my wife didn't mind one bit about the extra length and girth" obviously". Its probably mostly in your head and if you think it won't work, it probably won't.
Theres some great advice on here so wont repeat it all but I will add whilst your seeking help from help from the doctors dont forgeg there are other ways to pleasure the ladies.
I mention this because a friend of mine has had this issue. He neverv lost his sex drive just his erection and he always says it gave him a diffrent perspective and has overall made him a better lover because he could focus on her compleetly.
He has managed to work it now and so will you.
Good luck mate.
It happens to us all at some point. Your not alone mate.
Repeating what has already been said (and a post of mine in StH's link), don't worry about it. It could be stress, worry or just being tired. The key now is not to think about it next time you have sex otherwise you will create a negative result. Have a drink, hot bath and let fun occur naturally without planning but most importantly clear your head of anything negative. Hope this helps in some way.
Hi Ste,
I totally get this problem, I too suffer from this. Im on blood pressure tablets and I blame those for my problem. I havent been to the doctors about it yet as we can usually do something.
If you are loosing it, have you thought about one of these http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14238
Put it on when hard and it keeps you ready.
I seem to go through spells some times I can have sex and be ready again in 10 minutes, the other week we did it four times in an afternoon. Then other times I get hard and its gone two minutes later. Im never really stressed about anything so ive discounted that. Other than the tablets nothing much else has changed for me. Damm frustrating though
The cock ring has really worked for me.
Hope this helps
I once went through a spell of struggling to keep it up. The problem is that once you start stressing about it, it plants a seed in your mind and if you let it the problem can grow. I rarely have a problem these days; I think this may be because I am usually in control in the bedroom, so we have lots of foreplay and then have sex when I am ready (no pressure to get it up on demand then)
You mention seeing the doctor; if you mean for viagra, then have a look at Lloyds pharmacy; you can have an online consultation and get genuine viagra or the non-branded version sent out to you in the post
Hi dh just wondering if you have to pay for that Viagra from Lloyd's if your on benefits do you know?
Just wanted to update.
Did some "testing" earlier.
During all the following I noticed myself getting hard and then soft, happened about 7-8 times over about an hour:
Kissing
Giving oral (licking clit, sucking clit, suck and swirling clit)
Fingering (entrance, gspot, deep spot)
Fingering + magic wand on clit
Rubbing clit + wand inserted
Licking/sucking clit + wand inserted
Her sitting on my face
Fingering whilst on her knees
I managed to enter her for about a minute (she squirted all over me at least twice) before going soft
Quite frustrating I could not finish inside her after all that.
I have noticed that one of my medications (Gabapentin) can cause ED and i'm on a high dose (1.8-2.4g a day) and so this gives me a lot of stuff to take to my GP on Monday.
Am desperately trying to not let it affect me psychologically as I think that's a deep hole to try to climb out of (pardon the pun!)
Ste wrote:
Absolutely gutted, tried to have sex twice in the past three days and both times lost my erection.
Extremely upsetting and feel useless, never ever had this problem before.
Guess I need to go see the docs.
Had brought OH to multiple orgasms before sex and she is very supportive and no pressure. Bleh.
Look up glyceryl trinitrate , I use the spray a lot for my other health issues , but it is also used in the tips of durex condoms to stimulate erections.
hc
Lollipop, i don't know from personal experience, but I'm sure I have read on here that you do need to pay still. It is considerably more expensive than the standard prescription charge too
I'm also on BP medication and suffer from this at times. Never have a problem getting to arousal......just keeping it. Although its easier said than done being as relaxed and impulsive as possible does help. Not ideal for us because we do lots of roleplay.
I really think having a supportive partner helps a lot.
Ste wrote:
Always under stress but no more than usual,
Stress is under-rated as an issue I think. I have found it can kill my libido entirely or struggle to get/keep erections. For so long I didn't think I was stressed it was just "how I am" and when I struggled with erections I beat myself up about it.
Having recently got a handle on my stress levels things are looking up.
Don't beat yourself up too much about this mate, it's cliche but it really does happen to us all.
Alright dh thanks for the help babes.