The struggle is real.
Yes, and life is so much better when you realise that you can change, and that the self imposed standards are self defeating.
I actually had my first ever sexual experience with a neighbour.
2 posts were merged into an existing topic: The Lounge
Have you tried macca root .i had problems a while back and was seen a girl from stockport and i was nervous as we had only talked on line but i found the macca root capsules helped to bring him to life . I dont know if it was down to depression or stress .but since ive been back in the gym i seem to have no problem staying erect .but macca root was my best friend just take it in the morning daily @Purring-Pussy hope this was helpful
Suggest tadalafil to your partner.
It last for up to two days and takes away the contrived aspect of having to take a certain time before sex.
Lasting as long as it does, it allows for that spontaneity we all love.
Ive never heard of macca root. Will look into it x
Well everybody, another update:
Friday he took a couple of blue pills and they were very successful. He was so pleased with himself
So happy for you both. Hopefully it’ll help to gain his confidence back too xx
I hope you were as happy as well. @Purring-Pussy
I certainly was
I was thrilled for him, too.
Not had chance to read every post, but skimmed through and got bits and pieces.
I’ve not had similar issues, but with some of the bits mentioned (for example soon as wants to enter goes semi-hard) it sounds more psychological than physical, and sounds like you’re doing a tremendous job supporting him through it all.
I think @CurvyJilly highlighted very well the negative spiral with it all, and maybe it relates back to earlier experiences in some way for him. It sounds almost like he doesn’t feel there is a solution (i.e. telling you to find someone else, avoiding appointments). There’s a lot going on for him, as you mentioned he faces away when talking about this stuff.
When he is talking about it, maybe try making contact with him. Hold his hand, or arm, any contact. It will make a difference, he will feel that little less alone (as @alwayskinky mentioned).
Don’t make him look at you, that will come when he is ready.
There isn’t a lot more that you can do yourself other than what you are already, being kind, gentle, understanding and patient. With a little time he will be able to remove the pressure he is putting himself under, relax, and hopefully enjoy the benefits.
Really pleased to hear that…with a bit of time , you can usually find a way.
Credit to you for your support… im sure he really appreciates it.
@Mr_Kink1 thanks for your reply and advice.
Totally agree with everything you say.
Support wise, I’m quite tactile and spend way too much time on his arms just love stroking and touching his arms, plus we’re still in the honeymoon period, I’m like a limpet
He’s feeling more optimistic since Easter weekend.
@Purring-Pussy amazing news, glad you had some success on Friday. As everyone else has said, at least this should give him some confidence now so that he knows he can do it albeit with the pills but in his head he probably now knows there isn’t anything wrong with him. It’s a big step and he’s so lucky to have someone so supportive by his side - I’m the worst at opening up so can fully relate to him but my amazing OH has always been there for me and encouraged me to open up so massive credit to you for being so amazing with him, he will really appreciate it I’m sure
I think what I’ve struggled with most is the lack of communication and the way he turns away. Need to work on this next
I know it’s difficult @Purring-Pussy
In my experience with this I found that he’s turning away because if he cuddles you and then you get aroused and he feels he can’t maintain an erection for penetrative sex to completion he will feel a failure.
My partner with his ex used to think what’s the point…I can’t perform…I want the closeness…I don’t want to let her or myself down…and it’s a vicious circle.
He didn’t want to rely on tablets…or toys (rings…sleeves etc)…because he felt once he needed to use those it was like admitting defeat.
It’s a challenge mentally for him and if he doesn’t communicate what he is thinking and how it affects him it’s really difficult.
Keep doing what you’re doing with your care and support and please don’t think it’s you.
Fingers crossed you get there…
I think that will come with time. It can be harder to admit things by looking someone in the eye when you feel so bad about yourself as he probably feels like a failure that he can’t perform and satisfy you how he obviously wants to. But again, it sounds like you are doing everything right and I’m sure I once he gets back some of his self confidence it will all come with time.
Thanks for sharing your advice @CurvyJilly
Its been a while since we have heard from (unless its me that have missed things) You had fallen for a neighbour and I was wondering how things have moved on. He was suffering with ED, as I do and I was interested how/what had happened. Plus to see how you were, @Purring-Pussy