A few months ago me and my boyfriend decided we would move in together this summer. We have only been dating a year, and I am just curious to see if anyone has any advice?
We both need a lot of private time, so he is going to have a study, and the bedroom is going to be my domain. Just if anyone has had any really good or really bad experiences of moving in with their partners, I would love to hear about it.
Damn, another man bite the dust. Now he would sleep with no duvet and only 15% of the bed.
Ahah! Payback for all the nights I have had to sleep in his rickety old single bed. And hey, we have got it covered - we are getting a duvet each, no way am I sharing.
My partner who I met on Facebook moved in with me after just four months of going out and it's still going great two years later, sure we have are ups and downs but sometimes you just have to make that leap! :)
15% of the bed would be a luxury... my OH gets between 8-10%!
This has made me wonder, with gay couples, is there in excess of 50% of the bed that is unoccupied?
I agree on the 15% but on a serious note we moved in together after 6 months and now after over 3 years we are getting married later this month.
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I was with my OH for five years before we moved in together. We've been living together for a year on the 17th.
It's hard, you both have to compromise on certain things and make sure you have your alone time too. Also, make sure bills are being split fairly or it could lead to resentment
Mab wrote:
Ahah! Payback for all the nights I have had to sleep in his rickety old single bed. And hey, we have got it covered - we are getting a duvet each, no way am I sharing.
They still find a way to get more space or duvet and they would use the excuse of putting one leg over the duvet to get comfortable while taking the other on top.
As for moving in together, i think we all have to make some changes and sacrifices as you have changed your life from being single to a couple. When i first moved it, i was crap at all these things. Didnt do any house work, no DIY, no cooking, basically one of those useless men who dont know anything but over the time i worked on things and gradually got better and i am sure if you two love each other than you would work together and get there.
Yeah, I am working on my 'reasonably asking someone to do something because it is only fair' voice, and trying to get rid of my 'bitch nag' voice... It will be difficult, but I know it is for the best.
good luck! I don't think the time is such an issue, you have to take chances to get anywhere in life. If it works it works, if it doesn't....well that sucks but at least you know.
If you're both considerate and respectful of each other it should be fine. For housework and similar chores things need to be pretty equally shared, but it also needs to be accepted that people work at different paces! I had to have quite a serious talk with an ex of mine when she threw 2-3 hissy fits on consecutive Saturdays that she was "doing all the work". What was happening is she'd bounce out of bed at 8.30 am and start cleaning the kitchen and by 9.30 would be complaining I hadn't done anything! I was more than happy to pull my weight and did, but need a lie in on the occaisions I get them. After discussion she accepted that it was just as good if I did the bathroom at 1030, but it took sitting down and keeping calm.
ooh a similar one, some people focus fully on a task for 15 mins but get as much done as someone else will in an hour simply because it's focused attention and not partly tv watching, and 'tidying up the coffee table' isn't half taken by 'reading that magazine on the coffee table'. (same ex!).
So basically, both pull your weight but accept that as long as it's done regularly it doesn't matter whether it sometimes gets done on the spot or a little while after or whatever
oh, often worth having a 'house stuff budget' that you both put in. Iv'e seen couples fall out as one partner happily spends £200 on payday on random bits and bobs but then is flat broke but complains at the other for not paying for anything for the house (who in one example I can think of tends to have instead paid for the extra food shopping to keep them fed!). Or they pay £200 on 'nice things' but forgets that it means no money to buy the more vital and urgent stuff.
ok I'm gonna stop before this just becomes a long list of the terrible couples I'm friends with.... :-p
oh go on, one more! and a more important one!
when you live apart you usually spend 100% of the time when you're at each other's places together. When you live together it doesn't have to be like that. Both people need to accept the other needs a bit of space to follow different interests or just have a break.
(an ex would literally watch tv for 95% of her free time. I was into reading, sports, games, and liked going out more. I liked watching tv with her for the company but definitely needed time away from it - and the way she saw it, her - to stop my brain rotting.)
This sounds like grand advice :D thank you
Yeah... money might be a little bit difficult. Hopefully it should be fine, just he is more of a sainsbury's man, and my heart definitely belongs to lidl. However, he has more money than I do - so hopefully he can get luxurious sainsbury's food (mostly bacon), and I can get all the stuff he will inevitably forget...like milk, bread, fruit, vegetables.
Ha well! It is certainly going to be an adventure. I think you are right in terms of having separate space , I definitely need a few hours a day on my own. I think we are going to have locks on doors just for some difinitive space.
i moved in with my bf 6 months after we got together we stayed at his parents for about 9 months and now we have bought a house together we have been together for a year and a half i think you need to respect that both of you need your space but you both need to take interest in eachothers hobbies a house together is a hard thing it is never going to be easy there will be hard times but just communicate with eachother communication and respect is key
My fella moved in after 4 months hes lucky if he gets 10% of the bed, he moved in with me and I leaved on my own a year prior I found it hard because he was moving in to my place , we had a few run ins as I do it one way and he does it another way , but we worked through it and truly love living together
You should be fine, I live with my boyfriend of 2 years in a room with an en-suite in a block full of about 100 rooms (not even a flat) on a military base so we have literally no space to ourselves and we do just fine :)