My OH and I moved in together in January, and whilst I can honestly say I've never been happier, the arrangement is not without its teething issues! He doesn't understand why I have laundry OCD (it's mental, I freak out if my system is compromised) and I don't understand why he needs a whole chest of drawers containing nothing but a variety of cables.
So my question is this: What have you found to be the challenges to happy cohabiting, funny or serious, and what are the best ways to tackle/avoid them?
Last September, myself and my other half decided to live together and it's been great since we've worked through the teething problems.
It's the sink situation which bothers me. He'll put dirty pans, knives and forks, plates etc into the sink filled with warm water. Then after we have finished our tea, I'll walk into the kitchen and see all the gunge and fat in the water and around the tub, it certainly grosses me out. I will have to fish every item out from the cold, gunky water and re-fill it with clean, hot water. It sounds minor but it bothers me.
He's expressed his dislike when I wear his dressing gown and the blankets I lay over the sofa and over myself. He will remove them whilst tidying but I always find them.
So after these few months, we have learnt to live with these habits. Humour is the best way to diffuse a situation and this has come in handy quite a few times. Sometimes, I have to think if something bothers me, "Is it really worth making an issue about it and spoiling this nice scenario?", I weigh it up in my mind on a scale and most of the time I will tell myself "No it isn't".
oops didnt realise he was reading over my shoulder and had to explain what his irritating habits are, guess who has to be a very bad girl tonight to make up for that one ?
Last September, myself and my other half decided to live together and it's been great since we've worked through the teething problems.
It's the sink situation which bothers me. He'll put dirty pans, knives and forks, plates etc into the sink filled with warm water. Then after we have finished our tea, I'll walk into the kitchen and see all the gunge and fat in the water and around the tub, it certainly grosses me out. I will have to fish every item out from the cold, gunky water and re-fill it with clean, hot water. It sounds minor but it bothers me.
He's expressed his dislike when I wear his dressing gown and the blankets I lay over the sofa and over myself. He will remove them whilst tidying but I always find them.
So after these few months, we have learnt to live with these habits. Humour is the best way to diffuse a situation and this has come in handy quite a few times. Sometimes, I have to think if something bothers me, "Is it really worth making an issue about it and spoiling this nice scenario?", I weigh it up in my mind on a scale and most of the time I will tell myself "No it isn't".
oops didnt realise he was reading over my shoulder and had to explain what his irritating habits are, guess who has to be a very bad girl tonight to make up for that one ?
xGGx
ooops!! That's hilarious. Have a good time making it up to him!
It's the sink situation which bothers me. He'll put dirty pans, knives and forks, plates etc into the sink filled with warm water. Then after we have finished our tea, I'll walk into the kitchen and see all the gunge and fat in the water and around the tub, it certainly grosses me out. I will have to fish every item out from the cold, gunky water and re-fill it with clean, hot water. It sounds minor but it bothers me.
This.
But it's kind of my fault - I trained him to put things with tomato based sauces on into hot soapy water to soak but then he started putting *everything* in the sink which is more annoying than the one stained bean bowl!
Overall though - WandA really has very few annoying habits. He's very thoughtful and pretty tidy and almost as obsessive as I am. The only thing I can't do is tidy at the same time as him - he has an annoying tidying routine and I like to avoid it as it gets me wound up unnecessarily.
We were very lucky and really had no teething problems at all when we moved in together. We rarely feel like we're getting on top of one another or need space. Things are pretty smooth in terms of living together.
It's the sink situation which bothers me. He'll put dirty pans, knives and forks, plates etc into the sink filled with warm water. Then after we have finished our tea, I'll walk into the kitchen and see all the gunge and fat in the water and around the tub, it certainly grosses me out. I will have to fish every item out from the cold, gunky water and re-fill it with clean, hot water. It sounds minor but it bothers me.
This.
But it's kind of my fault - I trained him to put things with tomato based sauces on into hot soapy water to soak but then he started putting *everything* in the sink which is more annoying than the one stained bean bowl!
Overall though - WandA really has very few annoying habits. He's very thoughtful and pretty tidy and almost as obsessive as I am. The only thing I can't do is tidy at the same time as him - he has an annoying tidying routine and I like to avoid it as it gets me wound up unnecessarily.
We were very lucky and really had no teething problems at all when we moved in together. We rarely feel like we're getting on top of one another or need space. Things are pretty smooth in terms of living together.
Adx
Aww. You guys are like the OA poster couple. The bit in bold is good advice.
I didn't want to sound like I was moaning - I adore my mister and living with him is the best thing in the world. I just wondered whether other people had little foibles that drive their OH mad whilst being one of the things they love about them!
You didn't sound moany SS! We were abnormal really having few tiffs about annoying habits (and I'm definitely more annoying than WandA) but we're so OCD and similar that it kind of worked for us. I'm aware that we weren't normal and we're very lucky it was so easy!
I do love learning about people's quirks and habits though! WandA arranges all his food in a very obsessive way, I always leave my lids off my beauty products (and WandA hides them from me to teach me a lesson). We still have habits, we just don't tend to have clashing habits so the being driven mad isn't there.
You didn't sound moany SS! We were abnormal really having few tiffs about annoying habits (and I'm definitely more annoying than WandA) but we're so OCD and similar that it kind of worked for us. I'm aware that we weren't normal and we're very lucky it was so easy!
I do love learning about people's quirks and habits though! WandA arranges all his food in a very obsessive way, I always leave my lids off my beauty products (and WandA hides them from me to teach me a lesson). We still have habits, we just don't tend to have clashing habits so the being driven mad isn't there.
Adx
As a girl who alphabetises her spice rack, I think this is totally normal!
You didn't sound moany SS! We were abnormal really having few tiffs about annoying habits (and I'm definitely more annoying than WandA) but we're so OCD and similar that it kind of worked for us. I'm aware that we weren't normal and we're very lucky it was so easy!
I do love learning about people's quirks and habits though! WandA arranges all his food in a very obsessive way, I always leave my lids off my beauty products (and WandA hides them from me to teach me a lesson). We still have habits, we just don't tend to have clashing habits so the being driven mad isn't there.
Adx
As a girl who alphabetises her spice rack, I think this is totally normal!
SS xx
WandA has a list of every item of food we have on his laptop. He also organises his plate into "mouthfulls" so he has soemthing of each flavour grouped to each bite.
I have other obsessions mainly around hand washing and routines. My routine has to be the same each morning otherwise I worry that I've missed something/not switched something off/not put something out of reach of the dog etc.
I have never got as far as living with the other. as my relationships tend to break too fast before thats possible. I think I would make terrible flat mate I always was driving my mom crazy with my habbit of having papers round my room while working on something, or leaving cloths over the chair. Of course I do wash my dishes and clean the dirty stuff I dont like really messy things, but I do tend to leave books, papers every where (bad me!) Also I tend to leave the cup and dish in the morning on the table as I am often in too much hurry to bother it (always annoyed my dad ). Oh and I tend to have too many cups for tea And too many books.
I find this thread really interesting.. I have yet to move in with my OH but I really can't wait to!
I actually can't wait to squabble over the little stuff! Being an a LDR I just value being with him so much that I don't mind cleaning up after him while he was here (in a hotel) etc. It was a tad annoying that he would take his time putting things away and not tidy up straight away so as not to build up "work". But, oh well. When I get moody or mad he just tickles and kisses me and that'll be the end of it. =P
He's also lived on his own for a good few years so I don't doubt his house skills. Also, having a 6 year old t tend to, part time, says something on his skills. He's wonderful. =]
I find this thread really interesting.. I have yet to move in with my OH but I really can't wait to!
I actually can't wait to squabble over the little stuff! Being an a LDR I just value being with him so much that I don't mind cleaning up after him while he was here (in a hotel) etc. It was a tad annoying that he would take his time putting things away and not tidy up straight away so as not to build up "work". But, oh well. When I get moody or mad he just tickles and kisses me and that'll be the end of it. =P
He's also lived on his own for a good few years so I don't doubt his house skills. Also, having a 6 year old t tend to, part time, says something on his skills. He's wonderful. =]
Yes, we did the LDR thing for a while, and whilst I will never understand his need to keep every box from every product we buy, I love having his stuff around me. I like hanging out his washing and going to the supermarket to pick up his favourite things - after so much time apart, these little things are lovely. The stuff that drives me most mad about him (he's a shameless hoarder) is the same stuff that I love him for.
I completely get what you're saying xXx. Your mister sounds like a gem.
I loved doing all the normal stuff like that too- going shopping and also washing his clothes! I love cooking for him too. I didn't think I'd fall into the "traditional" role but I love doing things for him and also with him. I make him help me. =P
And I know what you mean about the "flaws". My partner is a bit of a gamer and in person I did have to call him over from his little "episodes" but it reminds me of the times we used to play together.
I think moving in together is all about compromise. There will always be a little give and take but in the meantime the power struggle can be amusing somewhat lol. Ps. The frustration and annoyance can help the mood in the bedroom at times. Angry sex can be fun. >.<
I completely agree with you both - maybe that's why me and the OH don't argue much about habits? I'm so grateful that I actually get to wash dishes after our dinner together, happy that I get to make him a cuppa.....all the mundane, coupley things that for 3 years we couldn't do. For 3 years I didn't know how he liked his tea so it was one thing I really looked forward to learning!
But on the plus side, we have such a level of understanding of how lucky we are to live together that we really don't take each other for granted and can be grateful for the little things.
Why argue over him leaving his socks bunched up and coming out of the tumble dryer still wet when I'm lucky that I get to do his washing for him? It's not worth arguing over - just a mention and he'll try to make life easier and the same is true with my habits. I don't crack my knuckles or pop my gum when I'm with him as he doesn't like it but he doesn't complain about it.
The one thing I've learned to accept is nobodies perfect (especially me) we are lucky enough not to have too many disagreements, she likes her football, I can take it or leave it, so I play on my 3DS or watch TV in another room, I'm always happy to find the compromise, I tend to go shopping on my own for the both of us, she does alot of the household chores now beings she only has a few hours of work a day. I almost always take her to work (she works within a nice walking distance) she does however, leave the bathroom shower screen for me to clean, as buffing it up takes a fair bit of elbow grease.
I would say myself personally it's the little things that can make the world of difference.