My Reviews

[PKH]

by @PKH, 2 Aug 2021
Lovehoney Nubby Textured Sensual Glass Dildo

I love love love this glass dildo!

First of all, this dildo is beautiful! I love the coloring on it. The velvety drawstring bag it comes with looked like it would be a cheapy one that I’d need to replace, but it actually feels soft and good quality.

Next, the nubs on it feel soooo good! I didn’t realize before I ordered, but each of the nubs is a little different (some are wide, some are plump, some are more flat).

As someone who deals with wrist pain, it has a nice weight to it, so I haven’t worn out my wrists using it. When I use it slowly in and out, I can really feel each bump teasing the nerves around the entrance, same when I twist it. Just rubbing it on my clit feels good too. I was worried that faster or harder thrusting might hurt because of the nubs, but faster and harder thrusting feels great too. I’m still new to anal, so I haven’t tried it in my butt yet, but I’m sure that will feel good too.

I was a little worried about the grip since there is no handle and both sides are the same, but the texture on it makes it easier to grip. I thought using lube might make it too slippery, but I haven’t had that problem. Since it’s glass, it’s a bit more slippery and slidey than silicone, so it doesn’t need as much lube as some other dildos. I only use a little bit of lube on one end. And it’s very easy to clean with water and toy cleaner.

Some reviewers said it was not girthy enough, but I probably wouldn’t have tried it if it was any thicker, but now, if this dildo had a big brother that was a bit girthier, I’d def order it!

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: The visual, the firmness, the nubby texture

Cons: No complaints!

Bottom Line: It’s a beautiful dildo, and the nubs rub you the right way!

[PKH]

by @PKH, 22 Aug 2021
Calapro Latex Finger Cots (144 Pack)

Perfect for Anal Play

I don’t want anything left behind under my nails or any smells lingering on my skin after anal play, so I use these finger cots along with my LH anal lube before using butt plugs, anal beads and other anal play. They cover the whole length of my finger without being tight. They stay on just fine while in use and roll off cleanly when I’m done with them. So far they’ve held up without my nails ripping through. They’re just what I was looking for : )

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: Keeps my nails and fingers clean and fresh

Cons: Since it’s latex, definitely can’t use without lube!

Bottom Line: Great for hygiene during anal play!

[Green_Eyed_Girl]

by @Green_Eyed_Girl , Date of Review
lovehoney plus size santa baby red bodycon mini dress

Naughty but Nice

I loved this little number. its slinky, very sexy and comfortable to wear.

The inside of the faux fur sections are lined well, so it doesn’t suffer from the classic itchy costume curse of some Christmas outfits and the whole of the outfit is lovely and soft.

The red velveteen section of the dress and the belt are very stretchy and cling comfortably to my curves. The fur sections though have very little stretch and as a size 20 on the bottom i did find myself having to wiggle the dress over my hips a little to get it on.

Im a 16 B cup on top, and there was plenty of space in the chest area, enough that i could slide the ruff off the shoulders and right down if i wanted to keep it on during sex. The top is shaped so it can be worn on or off the shoulder comfortably. it looked good both ways and is clingy enough that it stayed in place when worn off shoulder.

I really like the look of this dress when on, it did wrinkle up the high back a bit for me as I’m a 16 on top, but it hugged my shape nicely and overall was very slinky. Reminding me of a christmas themes Jessica rabbit number.

The belt was flattering, ridiculously stretchy and very comfortable. It stayed up well but was easy enough to slip off when desired. I also liked that it was a separate piece so you could wear the dress without it if you wanted.

the chocker was pretty and very adjustable (enough that a man could easily wear it) but on my 14.5inch/37cm neck the slider ended up found the front which spoiled the look a little for me.

Unsurprisingly, the fabric is reasonably warm to wear and the hem is low enough that it would also make a nice sexy Christmas party outfit if paired with some tights. Definitely one that i will be pulling out of the box again as i had alot of fun with it.

Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Pros: Soft, Slinky, sexy and very comfy. Removable belt was a nice touch

Cons: Choker didnt do much for me

Bottom Line: So pretty and easy to slip on. Clings well and looks great. Soft material is super.

[PKH]

by @PKH, 7 Oct 2021
We-Vibe Touch X Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator

My Tiny Teal Treasure : )

I am a big fan of clitoral vibration, so I was waiting on pins and needles for this one to arrive! It came very stylishly packaged (perfect for gifting) in a teal box similar to the boxes iPhones come in, having the accessories stored underneath the item. When I opened the box, the vibrator looked so petite and cute! It’s smaller and thinner than I thought it would be and lightweight. I’m really looking forward to traveling with it since it’s so little. The teal silicone is very soft and sleek. The drawstring storage bag it came with is white and silky, but pretty big (5.5” x 7.5”) for a such a little toy (1” x 4”). It charged up quickly, and the quick start guide was concise with a diagram explaining the buttons, travel lock, and patterns (vibrate, pulse, tease, wave, tempo, heartbeat, cha-cha), so very easy to get started.

From the first use, I loved the shape of the concave dip cradling my clit. It sits on it perfectly! In addition to simply holding it in place, I also like rocking it side to side and making a circular motion around my clit, also occasionally sliding it down toward the opening of my vagina and back up to cradle my clit again. It’s very easy to hold in my hand while in use, and I can use it hands free if I’m on my back. Hands free, the vibrations are lighter, so I prefer holding it and pushing it down on my clit. The pointy tip of the vibrator is really soft and bendy. The vibrations in the tip are not as strong as my bullet vibrator (with its pinpoint accuracy), but are still pretty good when I press the tip into the side of my clit. The slower settings are pretty quiet and have rumbly vibrations, but as you increase the intensity, the vibrations become a bit more buzzy (and just a little louder, more so if I’m really pushing it hard against myself). Whenever I use it for more than a few minutes or on the higher settings, my fingers get really buzzed out, so I typically switch hands a few times. I really love the “wave” pattern. If I have time, I can just let it bring me up and down, slowly getting me closer to climax! Looking forward to trying this toy in a bath, but I don’t have one to use for now.

I used the vibrator on my husband during oral sex, and he liked it more than our wand and my bullet vibrator that I’ve used on him. I was just going to cup the concave side around the sides of his balls, but it was the perfect shape to cup around the underside of his penis and stroke a bit. He loved the soft silicone, and its rumbly vibrations were making him squirm. I thought this vibrator would be really easy for him to hold on me while we have piv sex since it has the concave dip (he usually struggles to hold the bullet vibrator in the right spot during penetrative sex), but no success with this one either. After he had it on the top of my pubic bone, I took it back from him so I could get it back onto my genitals : ) but this is a user error, no fault of the product!

The box advertises the vibrator as a “versatile multi-purpose vibrator” to also use for “head to toe massages.” Honestly, I prefer my wand for vibrating body massage, especially since it covers a wider surface, but I noticed this one was good for reaching around to my lower back (the area right above my tailbone is always needing some love when I’m on my period, and it gave the right vibrations and was the right shape and size for those smaller achy spots).

My only complaint is the buttons. I wish the button placement was higher up on the back because when I’m trying to turn the vibrations up or down, the tip of the vibrator pushes harder on my clit (unless I put a finger on the bottom side of the vibrator as a counterweight while pressing the button, but then my finger gets lube or my juices on it). Anyways, I absolutely love this vibrator, and now I’m using it in regular rotation with my bullet vibrator!

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: Cute and small. Perfect concave dip for my clit. Quiet. Nice rumbly vibes.

Cons: Low placement of buttons.

Bottom Line: Very good vibrator, thrilled to have it in my collection!

[PKH]

by @PKH, 2 Oct 2021
We-Vibe Sex Toy Travel Storage Bag

Canvas Toiletry Style Bag

The bag is bigger than I thought it would be (base measures 3” x 9” and 5” tall). I love the deep shade of purple. It can easily pass for a toiletry pouch or cosmetics bag. Aside from the We-Vibe logo on the side, it’s totally discreet. Not sure exactly what the materials are for this bag, but the outer fabric feels like a water resistant canvas, and the inside is like the typical wipeable fabric in cosmetics bags. The fabrics are not soft at all but feel durable. The stitching and zipper seem sturdy too. Holding the bag and opening and closing the zipper, it doesn’t feel like a sleek or luxury item, but it seems like you could treat it roughly and toss it in a drawer or suitcase, and it would hold up just fine! It came as a gift item with my We-Vibe Touch X Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator, and it’s way too big to store just that, so it’s a good size for several smaller toys and some lube or a couple medium toys. I was able to fit my we-vibe clitoral vibrator, my bullet vibrator, 4 small butt plugs, a pair of nipple suckers, a glass dildo, and a 3.4 fl oz bottle of lube, and there was still space for more. I like that the zipper can unzip all the way to the base on both sides (with fabric sewn on the edges so nothing will slip out the side), so you can really open it wide and get in there if you’re looking for something small or needing to thoroughly clean inside. The netting pocket stitched inside is perfect for smaller items (like smaller toys or just batteries and cords) to keep things organized. This bag is perfect if you want a quality storage bag that isn’t too fancy.

Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Pros: It holds a lot and opens up really wide when unzipped

Cons: Does not feel like a luxury item

Bottom Line: Good sturdy bag if you’re not looking for something too fancy

[PKH]

by @PKH, 29 Sept 2021
Lovehoney Oh! Purple Sensual Body Massager

Surprisingly Good Massager!

I honestly only bought this as an extra item to get a discount on a different product, but I actually use it a lot and really like it. It lives in my bedside table now. We haven’t used it in a sensual setting to set the mood, and we don’t have any massage oils yet to use it with, so my husband has just been using it on my back and the backs of my legs when I’m feeling achy or sore, and it feels soo good! Without using any oil, lotion, or lube the plastic balls (spherical nodules) will stick and catch on my skin, so we usually use it through clothing or through a bed sheet, and it glides just fine. The grip is really easy to hold on to and helps you to apply just the right amount of pressure easily without having to push hard. I like that the balls are different sizes and spaced differently, so it’s easier to work them between limbs and around my shoulders and shoulder blades. It does feel light and a little cheap, as it is just hard plastic, but it makes it easy to give a really good massage. This would make a great gift along with massage oil and candles or maybe gift it with some lingerie. Or just throw it in your basket as a little treat for yourself!

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: Affordable and easy to use to soothe achy, sore muscles

Cons: Lightweight and a little cheap feeling

Bottom Line: The H shape and size and spacing of balls are perfect for giving a good massage!

[anon85834913]

Vush X Abbie Rechargeable G-Spot Vibrator

G-Spot Goodness

We loved the packaging and presentation of the Vush X Abbie. The box is bright & attractive, and is sturdy, so great for storing the toy in long term. Opening the box shows that it also comes with a magnetic USB charge cable and an orange satin storage bag.
The instructions were really easy to read so we were able to get started having some fun quickly. The instructions included some helpful tips as well.

We were very impressed with the feel of the Abbie on many levels. The feel of the actual material was great, and it felt very comfortable and well balanced to hold. The three control buttons ( power / vibration / pattern ) are nice and easy to use.
Starting with the vibrations on a low setting, we used the Abbie during foreplay on various areas of the body. When using the Abbie on the G spot, it was easy & pleasurable to insert, the size was not too big, and shape is great. I ‘found’ my G spot easily with the head of the Abbie and had an orgasm very quickly, with the vibration on level 2. The orgasm was amazing, quite intense and lasted for around 20 seconds. This is definitely one we will be using again, and I’m pretty sure the more often we use it, the more amazing the orgasm will be. The Abbie is fully waterproof, so we’ll have to work that into an exciting evening on a weekend away.
Really very happy with the Vush X Abbie - it’s a high quality, premium toy that is very good value.

Design : 4 of 5 rating
Orgasm rating : 5 of 5 rating
Quiet : 3 of 5 rating
Ease of use : 5 of 5 rating
Value : 4 of 5 rating
Quality : 5 of 5 rating
Vibration Strength : 4 of 5 rating

Pros:
Great shape, made of really nice material, nicely boxed, a good range of vibrations & patterns

Cons:
Minor thing : vibrations are strong at the handle end too - leading to ‘pins and needles’ a bit.

Bottom Line:
Awesome toy, probably at the top of our go to list

(Review by Mrs Peggly)

[Mint-Monster]

by @Mint-Monster , 25/2/2021
Lovingjoy Silicone Inflatable Dildo 6 Inch

I’m Knot Impressed

I’ve always wanted to try one of these inflatables, but most of them are made from materials I don’t like such as latex or soft plastic. Luckily, this silicone one came along to save the day. It feels soft to the touch and decent quality. The pump, tube and release valve are also pretty well made.

Each pump gives you some noticeable difference, but not enough to be too much too quickly. Sometimes it can be hard to press in - like I need to really crush it. Maybe I just have a weak grip or the way I’m holding it? It’s usually fine, though. The release valve shrinks it quickly with a Whoosh! Another way it will slowly deflate is by pressing the flat base of the dildo, but this seems to be more of an unintentional feature as it makes a deflating balloon squeak as it does. Not the most appealing noise, is it? There’s not much to grab once the thing is inserted, so it’s easy to touch the base this way. A bit of hand adjustment is needed to avoid it. My style with this is more of a tug than a thrust as it works better with a clit vibe, anyway. I didn’t feel the length of the tube was too long or short either which is also good.

Well, I wanted girth and I definitely got it. However, the toy doesn’t inflate equally and has a kind of knot effect with most of the air being in the top end. Does this ruin it? Hell no! For me, it enhances it. I actually love knots and this is the most knot-like toy I have now. Being able to insert it at first and then being near impossible to remove is super hot! Most knot shaped toys require you to insert it first which can be a challenge in itself. But this inflatable allows you to avoid this hurdle and enjoy the fullness from within. I would say this is a great toy for beginners and veterans alike as you can pump to a size that works for you. The air inside gives it a soft bounce that is comfortable to use, too. Quite a unique feeling of being light, soft and firm at the same time. Having it pumped up a lot while climaxing also feels amazing!

As the lump is in one half of the dildo, it gives you a bit more variety with the position than just a standard big dildo. Want to feel fullness just at your opening? Check. Want more deep within? Check. On your G-spot? Check. Pumping it up when it’s inserted all the way isn’t very noticeable until you try and take it out. You’ll be surprised how big it can get! If you want to feel it “growing” then positioning the bulge at your opening is the way to go. While it’s possible to thrust, I prefer to gently tug on it when its ballooned inside me - there’s no way it’s coming out, but I like the pressure there. Even when getting it to my comfortable size limits, I didn’t feel there was a danger of it exploding.

It’s easy to clean for the most part with some toy cleaner. However, the spot under the foreskin traps dirt so more attention is required there. I’m so glad it’s silicone to make it extra hygienic. The tube and pump only require a basic wipe down. The whole set-up can be a bit fiddly to store away or air-dry, though.

As a girth lover, this satiates my appetite for all things that barely fit. It has completed the task and then some! It may not inflate evenly, but that’s one of the main reasons I love it. None of my other toys give quite the same effect. Definitely a must if you’re nuts for knots and gaga for girth.

Overall Rating: 5/5

Pros: Knot effect. Choice of girth. Speedy release valve. Silicone material. Variety of positioning.

Cons: Squeaky balloon noise if you touch the base. A bit fiddly to put away or air-dry due to set-up.

Bottom Line: A unique new favourite that I keep using over and over. A must if you’re nuts for knots.

[Mint-Monster]

by @Mint-Monster , 15/01/2021
Womanizer X We-Vibe Silver Delights Limited Edition Pleasure Collection

Two For You

I was honoured to be sent this to test by LH. Many thanks!

Although you’re saving money in total, take note that this set won’t include everything you would get if you bought them separately. The Premium comes with a storage bag and only one stimulation head. The poor Tango is homeless! It would be nice if you got all the extras. Both look sexy in black and silver. The Premium is chunky but lightweight and the Tango lipstick makes me want to bring out my inner goth.

I hope you like magnetic chargers because here’s two of 'em. Despite the Tango charger’s infamy, it feels more secure than the Premium’s so long as you leave it flat. The Tango had a short battery life of about 4 sessions for me and died without warning. The Premium on the other hand is still going strong. I feel it definitely needs this because suction toys can take a while to position and get used to. The 3 lights also tell you how much power is in it. Handy! Its charge time is a bit longer, but at least it feels fair unlike the Tango’s.

For the Tango’s 8 settings, I don’t think a memory chip was necessary. There seems to be a slight delay in button presses, too. None of the patterns impressed me; which leaves it up to those deep, rumbly constants to do the job. They don’t get me there the quickest, but the hardest. The orgasms hit like an actual bullet! It’s also pretty quiet. However, that rigid casing can rattle loudly against other toys that are in play. It can also pinch your bits in between. Ow! I’ve never had much luck with plastic bullets, so I’m glad the Tango has broken the streak somewhat.

I feel that the Premium can be a hit or miss kind of toy. I enjoyed it the more I used it, but it does require some practice and patience. When it’s good, it can yank orgasms right out of my tingling body. The Smart Silence feature can be impressive; only turning on the motor when it’s close to the skin. Handy if you need to stop that chug quickly. However, it wasn’t always perfect (especially after cleaning). I don’t have to worry about hiding my bedroom habits, so this feature didn’t really benefit me. More of a thing to play around with. I prefer having it turned off so it’s not reacting when I don’t want it to. Don’t let the silent treatment fool you, though. This toy can get pretty loud depending on the level. It can go from a light hum to an attack helicopter. Having a seal softens things, but losing it can make it do that gargling growl. Even on the louder hums, I didn’t find it that distracting. With 12 levels, you’re sure to find something your bean will react to. The jumps aren’t always that noticeable and some of the lower ones can feel a bit inconsistent. The auto-pilot suction mode can be fun. It basically lets it do its own thing. I enjoyed this as I laid back and watched porn or fantasized for extra surprises. It starts off low and eventually builds up with 3 intensities to choose from. Having a high/mid suction on my clit right as I climaxed could be painful, so I would use the auto button as an “emergency escape” to get to a low safe speed and ride out my orgasm in bliss. Much better than removing it.

Caution is needed with lubing the Tango. The smooth coat can make it tricky to grip even before it turns into a tiny eel. Just a dab on the very tip is key. The Premium’s head only requires a little lube to work and I don’t think I re-applied much after that. The way you hold/rest it against your body means that wet hands aren’t a big issue. The larger size can make it a bit more cumbersome at times with other toys. Loved it with my vibrating dildo, though!

Both are relatively easy to clean since they’re waterproof, with the Premium only needing extra care for the removable head. It’s a major lint magnet! As mentioned earlier, the Smart Silence isn’t so smart after a wash. Whenever I used it again, it reacted to its own head - removing it made it go silent again to prove it was still working. It’s like it doesn’t like water or has to recalibrate? This would eventually correct itself by turning the power off and on a few times. Annoying, but I’m not that fussed on this feature anyway.

Overall, I think this is a decent set if you want to treat your clit. However, my personal bullet and clit sucker crowns go to other toys in my collection which weren’t as expensive. I know no toy is perfect, but for the price you would expect them to knock the cheaper competition out of the park. While I think the Premium’s auto-pilot function is fun, the Smart Silence is wasted on me. This then doesn’t give it much edge over what I already have to justify the price tag. I think if you have your heart set on the Premium, then you may as well get a rumbly bullet to go with it and save money (and possibly even more with a any other LH discount). Not my favourites, but still good in their own right. 4 stars go to both of them.

Overall Rating: 4/5

Pros: T: Quiet rumbles, hard orgasms, cleaning. P: Battery life, auto-pilot, tingling orgasms, storage bag.

Cons: T: Battery life, pinches, patterns, rattles, grip. P: Smart silence, practice needed, power jumps, bulky.

Bottom Line: Two types of clit stim in one sexy package. Pricey - but that’s fame, baby.

[Mint-Monster]

by @Mint-Monster , 16/11/2020
OhMyG Rechargeable Extra Quiet G-Spot Massaging Vibrator

Blended Orgasm Calling

Many thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this to review.

This is one of those toys that doesn’t look like a blatant sex toy. In fact, it looks more like a futuristic telephone. It even comes in gift worthy Iphone-like box. A nice bonus is the satin storage bag along with simple instructions. It has a lovely quality and weight, too. The whole thing is solid apart from the soft pearl.

The charging port is pretty phone-like, too. Sometimes it seems a bit temperamental and wants to only accept one way up like a fussy USB, and other times it’s fine? The charge light is actually heart shaped. Cute! This will flash while charging and stay solid when complete. It also flashes if it’s low on power. Charging time is about average, but the battery life isn’t that long. Maybe about 3-4 sessions? Instead of stopping dead during use, mine just doesn’t switch on until it’s had some juice it in. What a diva! The funny thing is that it wasn’t flashing during my previous session, so I wouldn’t know it needed more power until I try to turn it on again. Like the battery drains when it’s not on or it simply refuses to turn on unless there is a certain percentage of battery? Strange.

There’s only 3 settings with one control button to keep things simple. The pearl basically pulses up and down to mimic a fingering motion to stimulate the G-spot. Same type of rhythm for all 3, only the pace changes. I didn’t have any trouble getting enjoyment from all of them in equal measure. It would still be interesting if it had a vibration function or other rhythms. The curved body and prominent pearl make it a great G-spotter in general even when it’s not switched on. So if it runs out of battery, all hope isn’t lost.

It can take some practice to get the pulsing pearl in the right spot. I felt that angling and pressing it firmly upward was the best otherwise I could barely feel it. You don’t have to move or thrust much as the pearl will be doing most of the work - you just need to focus on your position and pressure. That added weight behind it does help in this regard, though. It’s comfortable to hold and doesn’t tire my hand out. I was a little worried about it pinching my insides at first, but it hasn’t done so. Phew! However, it feels like it’s “hooking” me at times if I try to take it out while it’s pumping. It makes a clanking sound if it catches which is a bit jarring. I’d recommend either switching it off first or angling it away to avoid this. The shape and firmness can be uncomfortable if you move around with it inside, too. Being on my front or back were as good as each other once I got the hang of it. The small tip and increasing girth still make it a decent dildo. The pearl also feels surprisingly good on my clit and opening - almost like a tongue or wet finger. It’s a great little tease and I like mixing it up in play time. I’ve even managed to climax with it pumping on my clit which was surprising. The constant tapping on my G-spot builds me up for more intense blended orgasms when paired with clit stimulation. This sensation is even better as I contract. They last longer for an awesome ride out, too. It’s one of the few toys that makes me buck my hips as I climax. Wow! As this is G-spotter, don’t forget to put down a towel or two as there’s a possibility of some heavy showers. At least it’s splash proof. My favourite pairings were with my flickering tongue and squishy wand vibes. Even when I took my clit vibe off to prevent climax, the pearl would keep the fire burning so to speak.

It’s surprisingly quiet. There’s no vibration, so no buzzy bee sounds. It makes more of a ghostly chant with an added tapping noise as the pearl goes up and down. It’s not something you have to worry about people in the next room hearing. The rat-a-tat-tat sound didn’t really bother me - only the clanking when it hooked on something did.

Cleaning is pretty straight forward with some toy cleaner and water - just try to avoid drowning the charge port. A little brush may be helpful for the design indentations. But how do you polish that pearl? Not to worry. You can actually pull the pearl out of its resting position to give it a more thorough scrub. I felt it was better to pull it at the top and bottom rather than at the sides. You can simply push it back in when you’re done. This part may seem a little scary as no one wants to damage their toy by pulling and prodding it. The instructions say you can also press the power button a few times to make it recede automatically, but I’ve never needed to do this.

Overall, this can be a fun and intense toy. There’s a few added bonuses that make it stand out from other G-spotters and the noise level helps, too. I just wish it wasn’t such a power diva! It may look like a funky telephone, but I don’t think I’ll be hanging up yet.

Overall Rating: 4/5

Pros: Quality feel and weight. No vibe noise. Pearl power for blended orgasms. Squirt potential.

Cons: Battery life and diva-ness. Clanking sound. Can take some practice. Limited settings.

Bottom Line: With some practice, it can be the pearl to your oyster.

[Green_Eyed_Girl]

Ok, big caveat on this one. I couldnt get on with this piece. Might be my build, breast size or how curvy i am but it wouldnt sit nicely for me. Other reviews have been positive though so i may be just unlucky.

by @Green_Eyed_Girl , Date of Review
Lovehoney plus size red naughty elf dress

Not sold on it

This outfit has lovely fabric. its soft and very nice against the skin with a good lining preventing the faux fur from being itchy. It fit well, being very comfortable on and I loved the bow on the back, which was very pretty and also fun to untie as the ribbon is so long. I also liked how the dress cut away in the front showing off my cleavage. The pompoms where well attached, giving the bottom of the dress a lot of movement and the whole piece is finished well with nice details.

if your into roleplaying a naughty elf/santa fantasy i can see it being fun, But i didn’t find it particularly flattering for my curvy 16 on top, 18 on bottom shape. The v on the front refused to sit well and gaped annoyingly below the red tie that keeps the sides together and the fur hid rather than accentuated my B cup breasts making me look quite boyish from the front. I could see it possibly working if i had a bigger cup size or was less curvy.

The thong fit excellently and was very comfortable, i actually think it was my favourite part and i’ll definitely be wearing it again.

This isn’t one i personally will pull out again, but i can see it working for a different body type than mine. If you want to play bad elf under the Christmas tree its very comfy and easy to slip on and as a bit of fun is amusing. It wasn’t the sexiest piece of dress up though for me.

Overall Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Pros: Soft fabric, great finish, well lined with a pretty bow on back

Cons: Gaped unappealingly in front and refused to sit well. Wasnt terribly flattering in back

Bottom Line: Nice fit but didnt flatter, though as a piece of roleplay was amusing.

[Peitho]

by @Peitho , 28th August 2021
Lovehoney Red Naughty Elf Dress

Be the Naughty Elf that’s not on the Shelf!

I am a big fan of Christmas dress up and this is my absolute new favourite. It is by far the most fun festive outfit I have and afterall Christmas is all about the fun.

The packaging is nothing to get excited about but the outfit itself is superb. The stitching is all very clean and the make quality very high. The stretchy red velvet is extremely comfy to wear and a fabulous very rich, shimmery colour much nicer than you normally get with Christmas dress up. The skirt and sleeve edges are unhemmed but you’re an elf and they’re meant to be, this makes the triangular sleeve edges curl up slightly which I think actually adds to the structure and cuteness of the dress. The white fur trim is standard synthetic but very comfy to wear and very inviting to stroke. The pom poms are just the right weight and bounce and dance about delightfully. They have a weird feel to them if you squeeze them, rather like cotton wool, don’t squeeze them though and they’re perfect.

The bit about me… I am a tall (just short of 5’9’'), fairly athletic build. Pretty non-existant 36A boobs, a small, flat waist but a big bottom and thunder thighs. Overall a 12-14 but much bigger below than on top.

I was very worried that this, like most Christmas dresses, would be far too short but the clever cut makes it perfect. Yes, bum cheeks are exposed at the back but that’s great as the pom poms just hang off and swing and bounce and at the front nothing is exposed that shouldn’t be as the cut means you get a strategically placed long section to the front with a higher cut at the thighs which helps elongate the legs. Very flattering.

The cut at the top of the dress is also cleverly thought out. It is certainly designed to accomodate larger boobs than mine but there is a clever red ribbon tie that means you can bring in the deep V cut if, like me, you need it narrower. In all lingerie I love a deep V cut, I think it’s extremely flattering on me and this is no exception.

The dress comes with a matching thong which again, unusually in this type of outfit, has been really well made. It has the same rich stretchy velvet to the front and base with a cotton gusset sown in for the health and wellbeing of the ladyparts, the rest is a very stretchy, shimmery elastic and the whole thing fits my rotund bottom perfectly and comfortably.

The belt is not the highlight of the outfit and at first I intended to replace it (as I’ve done with all Chistmas dresses in the past!). It is a simple ribbon that ties at the back but having worn the dress all day (…on a sunny August day because there’s never a bad time for festive fun!) it has grown on me. The tie at the back is cute and fun and fits with the rest.

I thoroughly recommend this outfit and think it will fit most of the designated size range due to the fabulous stretchy fabric though a 6 is more likely to find it too big than a 16 too small. For me, it is perfect. I challenge you to channel your inner Trixie Tinselicker or Holly Jollyfuck and be ready to climb on Santa’s lap.

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Pros: The cut, the style, the fabric, the fun.

Cons: The feel of the pom poms is the only negative.

Bottom Line: Fabulous, feisty, festive fun!

---

Thought I’d pop mine in too just for balance .

@Green_Eyed_Girl I’m assuming you’re the lower end of the plus sizing? As I say in my review I do think this is probably better if you’re not the lower end of the size range. I certainly think it looks better from the front more stretched out on me than it does on the model who is certainly more petite than myself.

[Green_Eyed_Girl]

Yes, im kind of either side of the small/plus size range (irritatingly). Like you i definitely feel it looks better with something filling it out more, especially in top (something i mentioned in review too).

[Peitho]

by @Peitho , 8th October 2021
We-vibe Bloom App Controlled Rechargeable Vibrating Kegel Balls

Perfection if not for the Bloom-ing Connection

Like all We-vibe toys this comes nicely presented and I am keeping the box with its padded cutout to store my Bloom in along with its charging cable as it’s ideal but immediately lost the plastic cover bit inside which is a pain to get on and off. It comes with a basic picture guide instructions which I found suffficient though the full instructions for all current We-vibe toys can be found here if you want a bit more help. You also get a storage bag if you prefer that to the box and a sachet of lube.

I found the picture and description on the site a little confusing. I wasn’t sure if you had one double bubble piece to start with and worked up to two marble shaped balls or what quite… this was probably just me being stupid (and I could, of course, have watched the video). You have the one double bubble shaped vibrator with three interchangeable differently weighted heads which is genius for upping the intensity as you progress with them. They screw on and the total weights of the three different options are 44g, 62g and 78g.I have tried them all out but will be sticking with the heaviest option as I have pretty strong kegals and get the most benefit and enjoyment from this set up.

Like all We-vibe toys the silicone is high quality and lovely to touch. The charging point is inside, directly under where the screw on top connects. It is a bit stiff to push the charging cable in but once you do you get a slowly pulsing orange light just above the power button. Once fully charged this remains constantly lit.

The app is really easy to download and when it’s got a connection and is working it’s brilliant! The variety of preset vibes is superb and there’s lots of scope for creating your own. I do have the We-vibe Melt as well but I never actually bothered installing the app before and just used the controls on the handle. I have now connected my Melt too and it is awesome. The downside is that the Bluetooth connection to the Bloom is terrible. I have a Tile on my keys that can hold it’s connection to my phone across a couple of fields but this fails constantly at barely any distance from my vagina. I don’t think it’s a problem with the app as the Melt works well from three rooms away… not that that’s overly helpful with the Melt however I’d like my OH to be able to work the Bloom when we’re out. I know it has to work through my vagina but to my knowledge that doesn’t have an impenetrable lead lining and other toys like the FSOG Relentless Vibrations Egg work fine.

One good thing is that when you’re using one of the default patterns when it loses connection the Bloom itself just keeps on going and to reconnect you don’t have to remove it or do anything other than tell the app to reconnect therefore if you’re out and about with it I recommend sticking with the preset vibes and I had a lovely supermarket shopping trip in this manner, reconnecting again after I left the store. The other great thing is that once inserted it is so quiet, I have no quarms using this out and about anywhere.

In terms of the vibes, at maximum intensity (reached with a simple swipe up the screen) they are really strong and beautifully rumbly compared to other kegals and eggs I have used. The presets consist of a constant setting and then 9 others of waves, steps and various throbbings. Generally with vibrators I’m all about the strong constant vibe but with this my absolute favourite is the heartbeat setting… though obviously still maximum intensity! You can also have it set to work off patterns you or your OH draw on your screen. Audio the phone is listening to like your OHs voice (a little kinky, I like it) or music on your phone… my personal favourites were when I was buzzing along to Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5” and Iron Maiden’s “Can I Play with Maddness”, the latter seeming most appropriate! The design of the app is brilliant, there are very few instructions with anything We-vibe related but the interface on the app is extremely user friendly and straight forward to use. It’s just a shame the connection to the Bloom is pretty rubbish!

I have had a wonderful time using both the Bloom and the Melt together at home. You can switch between toys on the app and when adjusting settings on one the other continues on whatever setting it is on. I went with the heartbeat on the Bloom and then controlled the Melt to a very intense blended orgasm that I could have gone on and on with if not for the sharp, stabbing cramp that set up camp in my left thigh!

Cleanup is a breeze, the heads can be fully submerged in water no problem and to clean the rest I leave whichever head is attached tightly screwed on, use a blitz of sex toy cleaner and a warm water wash. Then I unscrew the head and give a quick wipe around the base end seal as I don’t think it would like water in it’s cable connection.

Overall this toy is almost perfection, there is so much to love if only the connection to the app worked better. It is still a very welcome addition to our toy box but I would love We-vibe to improves the Bluetooth reciever in the Bloom.

Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Pros: Powerful vibes, great weight, excellent app features.

Cons: Terrible Bluetooth connection.

Bottom Line: A truly superb toy let down by a lousy Bluetooth reciever.

[Siamesecult]

Lifelike Lover Classic Realistic Dildo 6 Inch

• Realistic dildo with balls and bendable shaft for lifelike solo or shared play
• Non-intimidating 5 inches of insertable length, ideal for beginners
• Defined head, veined shaft and firm balls offer real-deal stimulation
• Bendable shaft to achieve versatile, satisfying angles
• Harness-compatible with suction-cup base for partner play or hands-free adventures

Siamesecult

4.0 star rating

10/01/21

A Nice Dildo that Comes Short

Review by Siamesecult on 1 Oct 2021review stating A Nice Dildo that Comes Short

There’s no actual complaints about this dildo. A fair size, great material, and very easy to clean. The suction cup holds pretty well also.
The downside of this dildo is not an issue with it honestly, I just purchased this at a bad time in my anal adventure.

I have learned that I need something that’s gonna leave me filled up. SometRead more about There’s no actual complaints about

hing that will stretch me and leave me feeling used! Read lessRead less about There’s no actual complaints about

Pros:

The suction cup is strong and holds for vigorous riding

Cons:

The lack of size

Bottom Line:

Great for someone wanting a smaller toy

Tell me how bad I did on this. Need help

[anon85834913]

by @Peggly , 20th Feb 2020
Fun Factory Stronic Real Rechargeable Realistic Thrusting Vibrator

Amazing Thrusting Fun Factory Vibrator

If you are looking for something quite different in a vibrator, look no further, the Fun Factory Stronic Real just might be the one.
As always, Lovehoney shipped our new toy quickly & in plain packaging, and we couldn’t wait to try it out. To be honest, we didn’t know quite what to expect with this one, as there was not a lot of detail around the ‘thrusting’ feature in the product description online, and we wondered if, like some others, the shaft lengthened and shortened. Not so, however, and this is what makes the Stronic Real unique, internal moving parts make the whole vibrator move back and forward.

If you place it in the palm of your hand (for example) and turn it on, it jiggles back and forth on its own. Held tightly, the movements are more shallow and make it feel closer to a regular vibrator, whereas held loosely, the movements are more pronounced. It is quite a different vibrator from the normal, and we found it took a bit to get used to, but certainly felt very good after a bit of experimentation.

The controls are easy to use and well thought out. The red ‘Fun’ button turns the vibe on and off - it also has a travel mode that you can activate to stop it turning on accidentally. The plus and minus buttons let you cycle through a very good range of patterns and ‘algorithms’.

Being a Fun Factory product we expected it to be of high quality and weren’t disappointed. The silicone shaft is silky smooth with no molding lines. The shape is pleasing and ‘non-veiny’. The handle end is well shaped and easy to hold., and features a magnetic charge point where the USB charge cable attaches. Another bonus is that the Stronic Real is waterproof, making it ideal to take into the bath or shower. It is also very easy to clean, although having a silicone shaft means that it does attract lint & fluff, so a bag to keep it in would be a good addition. Overall, its a great vibrator and something quite different. Great quality, as you would expect from a premium brand.

	(Out of 5)
Design
Orgasm Rating
Ease of use
Vibration strength
Quality
Quiet
Overall Rating

Pros: Overall quality, surprisingly different.

Cons: Could have included a suitable storage bag.

Bottom Line: Amazing vibrator for those looking for something a bit different.

[anon85834913]

by @Peggly , 12th Nov 2020
Male Power Scandal Lace Micro Thong with Pinch Back

These feel amazing

After waiting a [very] long time for these to come back into stock, it was a nice surprise to get the notification that they were available again. It also coincided with being my birthday, so despite these being a bit pricey, I decided to treat myself. I’m very glad I did.
I received them really quickly via express post, which cost the same as regular post for this order, so, bonus. Ordered & received next day.

I must admit, I was wondering how the lace would feel on these, having bought a couple of other lace items of underwear which weren’t all that soft, even a little scratchy. The lace sections on the Male Power Lace Micro Thong feel amazing though. Incredibly soft & stretchy and you hardly know you are wearing them. While others bunch up or are fiddly to get to sit just right, there was none of that with these. The mesh pouch is nicely shaped as well, to hold things in place but with a decent amount of give. I bought these to wear to bed rather than as underwear for during the day, and they are perfect.
The - most - comfortable - thong - ever!

	(Out of 5)
Design
Value
Quality
Fit
Sexiness
Overall Rating

Pros: The feel of the lace and the way they fit.

Cons: Perhaps the pouch is a little lacking in support for wear under jeans?

Bottom Line: Amazing - love them. Perfect for sleeping in.

Update : Sadly, after a few wears they no longer hold their shape and are unwearable. Durability on these is poor, which I was extremely disappointed in as I really loved them.

[PKH]

by @PKH, 30 Sept 2021
LHM Stripe Mesh Thong for Men

Sexy, but too tight on his package…

I got this thong for my husband - he’s 6’00”, wears size 32” jeans and got the size S/M. The fit around his waist was good, but the front was too tight for him. He would’ve liked more of a pouch in the front or even just a bit more space for his goods. The side seams in the front didn’t sit on his skin because his balls and (average sized, flaccid) penis were pushing the fabric out too much. The material wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wasn’t comfortable. Some parts were soft, but other parts were a bit scratchy. The photos on the site have to be edited to make them more modest because through the sheer stripes, you can see everything, every curve and crevice! I loved being able to peek into his undies! I thought he looked good in it, especially his butt, but he found the thong too uncomfortable to want to keep, so we returned it.

Overall Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Pros: Sexy see through stripes : )

Cons: Very tight on privates. Material has scratchy parts.

Bottom Line: Sexy thong if you don’t mind your penis and balls being a bit squashed!

[PKH]

by @PKH, 11 Oct 2021
Sliquid Swirl Green Apple Flavored Lubricant 4.2 fl oz

A Hint of Apple

I got this flavored lube to use for oral sex. My first impression was that it smells like shampoo and doesn’t really taste like apple. The bottle describes it as tart, but it’s definitely not. The apple flavor is quite faint and fades pretty quickly, but the taste isn’t bad, kinda like a watery apple jello. It works just fine as a lube, giving my fingers and the toys I’m using a good slip. It’s perfect if you want just a little more flavor than a regular (non flavored) lube, but you don’t want it strong or sweet. Like my other lubes, the bottle gets tossed around quite a bit, but no leaking so far as the seal is good (disc top cap in case you couldn’t tell from the photo). I also tend to get lube all over the bottle whenever I use it, and it’s easy to rinse clean. I wouldn’t buy this lube again since I prefer a stronger flavor, but I’ll definitely use this whole bottle : )

Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Pros: Gives a good slip. Adds just a hint of flavor.

Cons: Apple flavor is very faint.

Bottom Line: Perfect flavored lube if you want a very mellow flavor!