So... I wanna plan to spend a sexy night with my fiancée, as we have 3 young kids we really don't get chance to get it on anymore, due to tiredness/no time, etc.... So Ibe started planning a night away, bought her some sexy new underwear, gonna book into a hotel for the night, pack a few toys 😉, Crack open some bubbly and get on with it... Now here's where I need some advice...
I like to experiment and I kind of like the idea of seeing how she reacts to a bigger 'piece', it turns me on to think of her tied her blindfolded to a bed, and it being a surprise, almost as in a 3 way style scenario (except we're both too scared/jealous to try it...hence the need for a toy...) So, 1st question... Is it uncool of me to do it as a surprise, without her knowing what I'm gonna do? I mean, if I start using a toy, I'm gonna stop if she objects.... I just think the idea of it being a 'surprise' is hot... And 2nd question, does anybody recommend any dildos to start with, and/ or techniques on using them?
I wouldn't go using it on her without her seeing it first but I think buying it as a surprise would be OK. Maybe you could tie her to the bed but not blindfolded, get out the toy and ask if she'd like you to use it on her (in a much sexier way than that!). If she wants to, you could then blindfold her. She'll be anticipating a large toy so maybe first use a smaller one. That means when you do actually use the bigger one, it will still be a bit of a surprise.
Without knowing what you and her consider big or what materials you like, it is a bit difficult to suggest a dildo. If the bubbles are on ice, you could have a glass dildo cooling. That would add some sensation play and an element of surprise.
Well, we've never really tried using things like that before, she's always saying 'I only want you' which is sweet, and I love her for it, but I'm into trying these things... Hence why I'm asking for tips n tricks. But yea, I can see where your coming from by saying don't try it without her seeing it.
Why dont you talk through your fantasy of a threesome and then start with the next best thing, start really slow though, my wife did this and she loved in when a dildo was inside her and i licked her clit. This blew her mind
We have talked about it once or twice, she obv refuses to budge on the real thing...I respect that, and she's stubborn when I bring up the subject of toys, and/ or role play.... It's not a total no, but I'd like her to try, it's just getting her to take that step!
We has the same a while back, but we eased into it, went to an adult shop first and bought a dvd, that was a thrill within itself! Then progrssed to sexy lingerie, then a small bullet, let dildo, then small anal probe, wrve not looked back and love to try new things together now.
We try n do the whole hotel and surprise thing once a month work permitting etc. my OH wasnt used tobeing pampered but now loves our nights away. The surprises are now what she likes the most I started with blindfolding her but told her at anybtime she could take it off. She wasnt expecting the blondfold but very quickly she took to it. Introduce the toys slowly while massaging her and using foods and having fun. She didnt once feel intimidated by it and now we take it in turns with the blindfold and the surprises. I didnt once tell her what was coming next and she loved it. Good luck with it and i hope she gets into it all. It sure is fun building up to it all.
If she's never tried toys before then it's best not to surprise her with it. Especially as you've asked and she's said she's not interested. If my OH surprised me with anything I'd be into it because it's a part of our relationship we've both expressed interest in. But I don think she'd be happy about it even if she enjoyed it because you've gone against her wishes.
especially something larger than you, you don't know she'll enjoy it, it might even hurt.
If you want to introduce toys then ask her to browse this site with you or buy something small and solely for her pleasure.
But at the end of the day, not everyone is comfortable and she may never want sex toys so you can't force her.
and you definitely can't just buy a big dildo and use it on her without her knowing
I agree that it's best if you look together since I don't think it's a great idea if you surprise her with something large. It can take time to build up to so you may hurt her if you start with a large toy.
If you look together on here, she might find something she would be comfortable with you using on her. I have a glass dildo that I love, it's a bit small but it feels great. It also looks beautiful and like a piece of art. It would probably be best if she agreed to test a toy and if she likes it, then you could maybe start to buy her gifts if she gives you her approval :)
I think that sounds like a fun fantasy for you to explore with her, but going in like that may just lead to problems and akward moments for both of you. I am guessing the part of it that sees you penetrating her with a big toy is a fairly big part (pun intended) of it and watching her taking a big substitute dick? If so the whole blindfold and sneek it in thing seems a bit of a cop out rather than just having a conversation that you might be embarrased about. Take a deep breath, suck it in and have the conversation dude! Plus ot would be 100 times better knowing she's into it when you actually do it and you can watch her loving it without a blindfold covering half her face.