I’ve tried masturbation on and off for years but it’s never “worked”. I’ve never had sex with another person so sex with myself is all I’ve got, lol. But here’s where it gets tricky: I get aroused incredibly easily but the more “hard” my clitoris gets, the more painful it becomes until it’s throbbing and hurts too much to continue. Fun, right?
The only toy I’ve ever used is a tiny tongue-shaped silicone bullet-type thing with a few intensity settings recommended to me by a sex shop as a good first toy.
I’m worried that my only chance for an orgasm would be sex with another person and that’s really not an option so I’m wondering what I’m doing wrong or what toy might help so I can finally reach the big O.
It is easy to say, but the first thing would be to try and relax, the more pressure you put on yourself the less likely you are to reach orgasm.
Remember that although the clitoris has most of the nerve ending stimulating other parts of the vagina can bring pleasurable sensations as can massaging the breasts.
It terms of using a sex toy a wand might be better or if you like a sucking motion on your clit whilst feeling gentle vibrations the a womaniser might be the way forward.
As with most sexual experiences it starts by being in the right head space, and then take your time and let the feelings naturally build. Be assured that you certainly don’t need a partner to orgasm, just a lot of self love.
I find a good orgasm cannot be rushed and if you are finding it painful you may be trying too hard and slow it down and use some lube as this can assist the whole experience
I think it might be work trying a wand. I would recommend a mains one as they are more powerful normally. LH do a own brand one around £50 - £60 but this sometimes appear as deal of the day. Others say the womanizer is very good as well but these can be a little for expensive. I wonder if a vibrator which would actually go into the vagina may help. Something like a rabbit?
I would say, take it easy on yourself. And just like men get uncomfortable, so do women have an ache on clitoris. That was a couple of decades ago as a young woman, I think I tried pushing thru and O didn’t happen because I wasn’t relaxed. I know its easier to say but I’d watch something arousing, I found how to build a sex room to be quite something, or i loved crazy stupid love or that new movie by Emma Thompson was fun.
If you hunt for it, it’ll never happen, and it’ll always be just out of reach. Try and change your mindset and focus instead on what feels good for you instead or an orgasm.
Orgasms though, they can hurt in a very intense painful non pain kind of way. Which will hopefully make sense for you soon.
Do you only ever use your toy or your fingers too? Do you like a softer touch the more turned on you get or a harder touch? Fast or slow? Buzzy vibes or rumbly vibes?
You don’t need to answer, I’m just throwing out some thoughts.
I don’t really want to suggest other toys without you knowing your body a bit more but I will! I love this for a suction toy and this for a wand.
My preference is for rumbly vibes. The suction toy starts off with really low and slow rumbles and turns into powerful buzzy suction vibes. I like this because its less powerful and I love a build up but other people have said its really powerful, maybe they’re using the highest intensity that could mix paint thats an exaggeration, its not that powerful
I definitely recommend a wand. Slow down and relax. Start with a warm bath and a gentle soapy massage of your breasts working down to your vulva. If you are getting somewhere go with the flow or dry yourself and take it into the bedroom. A wand gently applied to your vulva will really get you going but delay direct contact with your clit until you reach the point of no return. Good luck and enjoy your orgasmic adventures.
or that new movie by Emma Thompson was fun.
thats an exaggeration, its not that powerful 