I have had sex with multiple partners and I’ve never managed to cum. I also do feel like my head is very busy and I’ve tried my best to not think things but it never works. I’ve tried a bullet and I dont feel as much sensation as penetration itself. I’ve also trying playing with myself and it doesnt feel like anything. I dont think I have a overly sensitive clit but its still feel good when OH does it. I also dont feel much when OH goes down and it never has it in the past. I feel like I know that I’m in my head majority of the time but I feel like maybe my vagina is like too thick like my head to feel anything but dick. Also is it normal that my tits arent that sensitive too. Sorry for the ramble. Thanks x
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I would suggest you go for a sexual health check to just make sure everything is physically ok and doing what it should. If so, it might be worth looking into psychosexual therapy to see if there is something specific blocking the orgasm.
Although the clitoris normally gets the headlines, not everyone finds that it is their preferred hot spot, so maybe focus on exploring internally. The G Spot is an inch or so inside the vagina or the A Spot is deeper, closer to the cervix and some people enjoy stimulation of the cervix itself, so maybe consider buying a dildo to explore where feels good for you.
Again, vibration gets talked about a lot but not everyone enjoys it. There is also a spectrum of vibration; high frequency to low frequency. If you’ve only tried one bullet, it may be that it is at a frequency that doesn’t do much for you.
In terms of being in your head, one option is to distract yourself. Porn, erotica, fantasising in your head, whatever works for you. Take your time, don’t go straight for the obvious places, let your fingers stroke your skin; around your breasts, your stomach, your thighs. Then spend time just touching your mons pubis and outer labia. When you are ready, start exploring your vulva, particularly your inner labia but avoid your clitoris to start with. Let your body start to crave it. When you want to touch your clitoris, start by circling around it. The clitoris will have a more sensitive side so make small movements to explore what works for you. Make your aim to enjoy yourself, rather than having an orgasm.
Orgasm is actually a learned skill and can take some time to master. Unfortunately the more you try and force it, the less it will happen so it does take patience. I’m sure you will get there though.
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Hey welcome to the forum 
Everyone’s sensitivity levels can vary so this don’t sound that uncommon, have you ever tried stimulating creams?
My nipples were never sensitive either. Hubby would play with them, but nothing. It wasn’t until I was mid 40s that they only just started to become sensitive & now its quite horny when he plays with them.
As for down there, I think its all about exploration. Years ago my G spot didn’t really do a lot for me, it was nice but never came from just penetration.
Now it seems to be a whole more sensitive, I used to be on a lot of different contraception for endometriosis & it just messed with everything. But now I’m off of all contraception & medication & menopausal I’m very horny & easily aroused. After years of zero libido, this is great!
The clit, I found pressure always worked. I would lay on my tummy & rub quite hard with my hands & the pressure would do it more for me. I used to feel a bit funny after masterbating, but now I see it as a perfectly normal thing to do. Getting to know your bits is so important for when you do get intimate with a partner so you know what does it for you & what you feel comfortable with. Just sit back & relax, when you have plenty of time & privacy & when you’re feeling relaxed & not stressed.
I very rarely cum during sexual intercourse, its always with foreplay with a tongue down there or if alone, with a very powerful vibrator.
Good luck x
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Some great comments above, always full of great advice this forum!
I think the only thing I would say in addition to above is the head can play a massive part when it comes to intimacy and pleasure. As @Calie mentioned, the more you try to force things the more it’s likely to frustrate.
I’d say relaxing before hand is a big thing, a nice soak in bath, music, maybe a nice relaxing massage from the OH. Focus on enjoying the journey without expectations, whether its with OH or solo, and sooner or later you’ll arrive at destination OMG!
Oh and of course, communication with OH around what you like or dislike.
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I came across an article when researching wand vibrators about them being used in therapy for women who didn’t orgasm. Apparently they worked best when used through clothing. I find the same with wands and bullets, both of which have quite different feels. My wife will cum mainly with a bullet, sometimes with a wand, but only if I do it for her; she’s useless at masturbating herself and only ends up with a sore clit. 
Hi @cheeky3
Welcome to the forum. 
This is awesome advice. I’d like to add that my wife also really adores attention on her hips, butt, and particularly the ‘thutt’ area (where the tops of the thighs meet the butt). She also loves strong downwards pressure on the pubic mound while playing. This really helps turn her on (maybe it helps pull the clitoris taught? 
)
The clitoris has ‘legs’ like wishbones, that run internally within the vaginal walls from the clitoral hood, near to the inner labia, and vestibular bulbs (again internally) that are also sensitive to pressure and playful touch. The clitoris swells too (a ‘lady boner’) with enough arousal.
Perhaps the stimulation you’ve received with partners hasn’t been quite right for you, was mis-timed, or not sustained for long enough.
Some prefer to stimulate their clitoris by hooking a finger or fingers underneath. Some prefer pinpoint pressure on the ‘tip’ within the clitoral hood, others prefer broad pressure, and many love combinations. Some prefer sensations of being ‘filled’ internally (which puts pressure on the clitoris and often the g-spot too. There really is no right or wrong here. Everybody’s different. I hope the advice here has given you some ideas to explore.
Listening to last week’s Sexual Happiness Podcast (S3 E8), the guest, Tina Horn, briefly made an interesting point that around half of the nerve endings in the pelvic region are in and around the anus. Though not for everyone, this whole area too is a source of pleasure for many, whether stimulating the inside or outside. Lovehoney’s excellent Better Sex Guides are a good place to start if you want advice on this.
The biggest sexual organ of all however, is the mind. So I’m with Calie on that too. My top advice would be to give yourself some headspace and privacy if you can, to explore what turns your mind on first, then your body will be more receptive to pleasures of all kinds. Once you’ve learnt what turns you on, it’s way easier to communicate what you’d like from a partner.
True, true…
None of us are born with all the skills in-built. We learn by doing. And very often we learn from mistakes and mishaps.
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My wife cums every time we have sex.
Foreplay is absolutely essential.
My OH says that 80% of sex is in the mind, get in the right mindset,use toys & lube, close your eyes and imagine your wildest fantasy and you will find out what you have been missing (I’m certain)
Best wishes and Good luck !!