Trouble feeling things inside

Does anyone else experience a numbing or almost no feeling at all?

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Like life in general, or sexually?

I believe she means sexually. (KinkyKitten is my partner.)

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I think it depends on if you are turned on, combined with what and how something is being inserted.

Take wearing a tampon as an example; a small soft and slightly flexible item worn at the correct part of your vagina shouldn’t be felt. Where as if you don’t insert the tampon enough and it sits too low in your vagina it can be quite uncomfortable.


Do you mean physically or emotionally/sexually? :thinking:

Ya telling me! :rofl:

Orgasm (and feeling pleasure that might get you there) is a learned skill. Most people explore their bodies very young and start to equate touching a certain place with a nice feeling (although it’s not sexual at this point). Eventually it does become conscious masturbation. So if you haven’t explored internally early, it can take some time to get used to sensations.

After that, it’s about finding the right spot for you. The G Spot isn’t as deep as many think, however it is not the be all and end all of internal pleasure, and you could find better success with deeper penetration (A Spot or even cervical stimulation) or even just stimulating around the opening of the vagina.

Then the how you are stimulating matters. Being aroused to start with will help, potentially going as far as having a clitoral orgasm first.

In terms of what you are using, size and shape are going to determine if you can hit the spots you want, but beyond that different toys have different functions. This could be to do with vibration frequency (high, “buzzy” to low, “rumbly”) and strength or it could be that vibration doesn’t really do it internally for you, and you need consistent thrusting or firm pressure or rotation or a come hither/wave motion or a smaller scale movement from a toy with a bead that moves up and down. Or something different entirely.

Time also matters. For those who don’t easily orgasm from internal stimulation, the average length of PiV sex is often not enough so plenty of warm up is needed (especially if PiV is your finishing move). When it comes to solo, as soon as you start thinking about the fact it isn’t doing much, you’ll lose anything that is building.

I realise I’ve probably made all this sound like an absolute mission rather than the sexy fun it actually can be. But if you take your time, relax and just go with the flow it won’t feel like the science experiment I’ve just described!

That all being said, if you are worried it may be worth speaking to your gp or local sexual health clinic just to have a check over.


Are you using a lube? Some lubes can cause a numbing sensation.

Have you recently had a baby or a medical procedure? Things can take a long time to get anywhere near what they used to be if so.

Have you tried different positions? I used to think PIV was meh…until fast forward two decades change of partners and found some new positions which I love.

Are you giving yourself enough time to be aroused and ready without pressure? Rushing things and not being ready affects how you feel.

Are you mentally ready? Worry and mental stress again will affect how your body reacts to sexual stimulation.

If this is something that has just started to happen maybe get yourself checked over.


Are you on antidepressants by chance?

Great advice from @Calie and @CurvyJilly :clap:

I started thinking I could only climax during PIV sex if I had clitoral stimulation until we started trying out new positions. The ones that I’ve personally found the most stimulating (without needing clitoral stimulation) that hit the right spots are lusty lean and voyeur’s delight :heart_eyes:

@KinkyKitten If you haven’t seen it yet, there’s a list of a bunch of positions you could try out :+1:

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