Hi guys!
I have a problem, I have never orgasmed by either myself or my partner. I have invested in the tracey cox bullet and one of the best rabbit vibrators on her but nothing has worked! Me and my partner have been together a year and tried different positions and nothings been working!
Does anyone have any tips on what could work/ how to help? What works well for you?
Please help!
Have you ever felt vaguely close do you think? Sometimes just getting one opens the floodgates for more :)
Clitorally you should try first. I find it easiest on my back with my legs straight and slightly tensed and just rub over the top of your opening (I think at least getting close with fingers is probably best). You should find some sort of feeling if you try rubbing over different bits and when you find a spot, rub circularly over it. Sometimes I actually find it easier over a pair of knickers. When I start to feel a "build-up" I try to open my legs wider (to expose my clit more). My legs tend to get more tense in the build up. Enough of this and it works for me
.. for solo play at least :) you can always give it a go :)
Do you think theres any particular reason for no orgasm? Stress? Too much pressure on yourself? Impatience? Just wondering :)
Or even have you had one, a small one perhaps, and are expecting too much?
popk1n wrote:
Have you ever felt vaguely close do you think? Sometimes just getting one opens the floodgates for more :)
Clitorally you should try first. I find it easiest on my back with my legs straight and slightly tensed and just rub over the top of your opening (I think at least getting close with fingers is probably best). You should find some sort of feeling if you try rubbing over different bits and when you find a spot, rub circularly over it. Sometimes I actually find it easier over a pair of knickers. When I start to feel a "build-up" I try to open my legs wider (to expose my clit more). My legs tend to get more tense in the build up. Enough of this and it works for me
.. for solo play at least :) you can always give it a go :)Do you think theres any particular reason for no orgasm? Stress? Too much pressure on yourself? Impatience? Just wondering :)
This is how it works for me too, minus the knickers. I do it all exactly the same .......but I understand everyone is different, so this may not work for you.
Get to know your body, gebtly touch and carres with your hands and fingers, find the spots that make you slightly shudder and tingle, building up to stronger ones, then perhaps use a toy to finish off.
Get to know you. If you do not know what you like, how you like to be touched, etc, then its not always a good thing to `expect` your partner/lover to know how to please you.
he imability to have an orgasm, does NOT mean your A) incapable B) there is something wrong with you C) that you will never have one.
Moving on
Its crucial that you form a healthy relationship with your self, rather than feeling (obligated) to others, Being able to touch your self, without shame, guild or wory, or even disgust, is very much a brilliant starting point. If there are the above feelings etc, then please be gentle with your self and perhaps talk openly and honestly with your partner, even look into some healing for you self (reiki Quantun touch, massage etc)
Ok
Breathing..Most important lol, do you know a full body orgasm can last up to 30 minutes. It does not have to last 5 seconds and only be focused on your genital area. The orgasm can be profound, beautiful and well just amazing
Look into nice fabrics, relaxing settinng/environment, (the kids need to be put on mute, mobile phone switched of) basically no distractions! Have some `you` time, then when you feel ready have your partner/lover come and join you in that sacred time.
TRUST
Sex Toys
Bullet, wand, and glass dildo perhaps, I used to be have the same issue, but now I can orgasm very easily, though not always are they full body orgasms, or squirting ones.
A woman can have 8 different types of orgasm
ITS NOT A RACE, if you feel pressure to have an orgasm, if your getting overly worked up..then once again start honoring your self, work on your breathing, reaslize your on a journey, that sexual satisfaction and compeltion/fulfilment should never ever be a race
I wish you all the best in your personal Journey
SF
For me it was about finding exactly what ticked and also alos of foreplay and like others have said... focus on the clit for now.
I was having sex for years before i had an orgasm and playing with toys for months before i had an orgasm using them. But for me the happy rabbit almost never fails.
popk1n wrote:
Have you ever felt vaguely close do you think? Sometimes just getting one opens the floodgates for more :)
Clitorally you should try first. I find it easiest on my back with my legs straight and slightly tensed and just rub over the top of your opening (I think at least getting close with fingers is probably best). You should find some sort of feeling if you try rubbing over different bits and when you find a spot, rub circularly over it. Sometimes I actually find it easier over a pair of knickers. When I start to feel a "build-up" I try to open my legs wider (to expose my clit more). My legs tend to get more tense in the build up. Enough of this and it works for me
.. for solo play at least :) you can always give it a go :)Do you think theres any particular reason for no orgasm? Stress? Too much pressure on yourself? Impatience? Just wondering :)
+1
Also i personally thnink it is better to know your body first before introducing toys
X
Might I also add fantasizing about something while you masturbate could help. It will help focus your brain more on the task at hand and get you aroused maybe a little more. Then as the others have said once you've found what works for you by yourself you can have fun trying it with a partner. :)
I have the same problem Emily :/ I have a man who can take my breath away in bed but we haven't figured out the whole orgasming thing yet... I think I'm putting too much pressure on myself because I want it so badly. I do think I've come close a few times but just can't keep it up.
I used to be scared to orgasm, I would feel the build up and pretty much fight the sensations due to fear of letting go.
i learned to embrace these sensations, and on learning that I began to orgasm, at first I'd maybe orgasm one time either during foreplay or sex, but now I orgasm in several ways and several different ways of stimulation and many many times.
For lack of a better way of describing how to do it, you need to submit to your own body and allow the pleasure to be released.
ok i find it easier if i fantasize y playing
Tried pornpgraphy? Photos. Audio stories. Videos. Books.
Reading erotica, certainly gets me in the mood 😉Smoothman wrote:
Tried pornpgraphy? Photos. Audio stories. Videos. Books.
Who knew tom cruise (smoothman) was on lovehoney lol ;)
I think this sums me up... I do feel kinda scared as crazy as it sounds. I can feel my body fighting not matter how relaxed I am. Hopefully I can learn to get passed it soon.Littlestars wrote:
I used to be scared to orgasm, I would feel the build up and pretty much fight the sensations due to fear of letting go.
i learned to embrace these sensations, and on learning that I began to orgasm, at first I'd maybe orgasm one time either during foreplay or sex, but now I orgasm in several ways and several different ways of stimulation and many many times.
For lack of a better way of describing how to do it, you need to submit to your own body and allow the pleasure to be released.
Erika Moen has done a lovely comic strip about this at Oh Joy Sex Toy: http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/masturbate/. I'd follow the links at the bottom too, Emily Nagoski writes great stuff about sex.
I dont know i think Im sort of scared, like when i think it may happen my mind goes off it.
Yeah I think I have been close. sometimes i feel like ive got to the point where i should but nothing happens like it builds up and up and then just stops when it should happen.
Emilyyy wrote:
I dont know i think Im sort of scared, like when i think it may happen my mind goes off it.
Yeah I think I have been close. sometimes i feel like ive got to the point where i should but nothing happens like it builds up and up and then just stops when it should happen.
There is no point when it 'should', just relax, breathe, focus on sensation. If your parter is performing orally on you try touching your breasts and/or tugging on your nipples. Don't focus on the orgasm, focus on the way you feel.
Hi there,
i used to have this problem.....the only way I got over it was to just put myself in the zone - wear something sexy, spoil myself a bit and rub on moisturiser etc and fantasize...I put a blindfold on myself once, ha ha. Just relax and enjoy the moment and it of happens, it is a bonus, if not, you had fun  .
Lots of great advice here. Particularly the nipple play whilst he goes down on you. I can personally vouch for that one! Combined nipple and clit action drives the wife totally wild. I'll either rub her clit with my fingers while sucking on her nips or I'll reach up with both hands while licking her clit and gently roll and tug her nipples. She loves it.
In general I'll echo the others by saying that it's important to be totally relaxed and at ease with yourself. Just try to focus completely on the pleasure and the sensations and how much you're enjoying it, and not worry and start thinking things like "how close am I?", "why haven't I cum yet?", or "come on, I should be there by now" etc.
Maybe have your partner spend an entire evening pampering you. Have a romantic meal together after doing something that day you both enjoy, he could run you a nice bath, put on some music, light some candles, give you a long, erotic massage, followed by plenty of foreplay and lots of stimulation. Wear a blindfold to help "close yourself off" and fully embrace his touch, etc.
Just enjoy the pleasure for pleasure's sake and if you don't orgasm it's no big deal. If you do then bonus! You'll get there one day.
Good luck and have fun! 