Well hello fellow LH forum writers. Before I met my now husband I had experimented with anal play and was not the biggest of fan. It was mostly anal sex and anal beads. When I met my husband I told him that I would be willing to do it again for his sake if he wanted to but that I wasn’t the biggest of fan. Recently my husband and I have started experimenting and I found an anal vibrator that was a reasonable price. The thought of inserting something and leaving it in rather than continued thrusting sounded tolerable.
At first I let my husband try to insert it into me thinking that would get him excited about it and he actually hurt me. Luckily I was able to stop him in time and I inserted it myself. I noticed that it was painful when we reached to widest point but was able to get used to it. We used a generous amount of water based lube and wondered if we used too much of the lube.
Once we started playing more and continued into full intercourse I really started to experience the pleasure, and my husband said he really enjoyed to added vibration that he experienced. However, it continued to feel like it was going to come out so my husband had to basically hold it in place. Ultimately in the midsts of all the excitement, it came out and we weren’t able to experience its full pleasure extent.
I would love some advice on the best ways to experience anal play with a partner and what toys are good for beginners that will stay in and provide the maximum amount of pleasure for us both.
Hi, I find anal for me is 90% mental. If I’m turned on, excited and ready then it’s easy. If my head space isn’t right then toys/OH penis is not going in. There has to be foreplay and I have to be turned on first.
100% when you’re new to it, stick to inserting toys yourself. You know how your body is feeling and when to stop if there’s an ouch, your OH can’t feel this so obviously it’s not his fault for pushing when you’re not ready. When it comes to sex, the same, be in a position where to start with you can control insertion and depth, once you’re into it great, let him crack on but at the start of any session for us it needs to be slow and gradual.
In terms of toys that will stay in during sex, ones with a thin neck and a more distinctly bulbed inner will stay put much better because your sphicter will find it much more comfortable to grip them. You didn’t use too much lube, lube is good but the plug you have has a wide neck and a thin inner so once excited it is likely to pop out. It depends really on what size you’re happy with but go as thin a neck as possible. Obviously they don’t vibrate but the shape of the metal ones is extremely good for staying put.
I am really only into anal in the heat of the moment. Its not usually planned. Saying that we are into BDSM and if we have time to use restraints and impact toys etc he will usually insert a butt plug while im being spanked, whipped etc which i do love.
Lube is your best friend when it comes to anal. If you think youve used enough, use a bit more as you can never have enough.
When it comes to anal sex be prepared to stop every so often to lube up again.
When it comes to toys, ONLY use toys that are designed for anal play. These have flared bases. The anal muscles will ‘suck’ anything up and the last thing you want is a trip to A and E lol!!! (Sorry if im telling you how to suck eggs)
I find that my plug falls out during sex aswell so hubby has to hold it in. I cant talk for everyone but would imagine thats standard.
In regards to being prepared and experiencing anal and more importantly enjoying it, make sure youre relaxed. Maybe get him to just insert a little finger first. I find that i like to play with my clit while he inserts anything otherwise it’s uncomfortable. I basically need something else to focus on while thats happening. I come quite quickly if we have anal sex so we always make sure hes very close to coming aswell. As soon as i orgasm it hurts and he has to pull out so we make sure that we are able to cum together when it comes to anal.
Remember that not everything is for everyone but i love the fact that you are trying as you know your partner enjoys it. Keep trying and im sure you will find a way that works for you!!
I didn’t like that plug at all, shape, hardness and expensive batteries. This one is miles better - softer, smaller, rechargeable with loads of patterns.
I bought a couple of similar jewel plugs in the small size and like the feel. They’re both actually 3.5” girth x 2.5” length but the LH one at 124g is much heavier than the Rear Assets at 53g. I did complain about the wrong descriptions but they’ve just half corrected the LH one.
Since you asked about vibrating plugs, if money is no object (Yes, I know, very unlikely) I’d say 100% go for the b-Vibe. I don’t own it because money is an object but it is the perfect shape to stay in.
A bit cheaper (and on sale and still a good shape) is the Mantric Butt Plug so that might be worth a try? It has good reviews.
Finally the LH Backdoor BFF, small (which might be good?) but still a good shape with a long thin neck. PIV would be tricky though due to the T bar base, which is where it loses marks in reviews.
Lastly, whatever you decide on remember solid metal plugs will feel larger than silicone ones of the same circumference so if you go down the metal route and are wanting for PIV I would start very small!
Ive had a plug this shape, and like you, found it came out during play.
Personally i find the curves shapes stay in better.
I haven’t tried one with a partner but b-vibe make amazing plugs. They are most definitely worth the pennies. Cannot fault them.
You might find getting a small non vibrating silicone one a good option.
Whatever you pick though, dont feel like you have to push it all in in one go. I often find teasing myself with a plug by just pushing the tip in and out helps me to relax the muscles and makes insertion much easier.
Warming yourself up with a finger before inserting a plug is also a good plan. You can also wear silicone gloves or use a very slim butt plug (rocks off make some good slim options) if your not comfortable with the idea of fingers.
Theres a big mental component to anal. Relaxing and breathing (especially when inserting a plug, or whenever you feel yourself tense up with a plug in) helps make everything much easier.
I also find concentrating on how much you want the plug in and how good it is going to feel helps massively.
Having a go with the plug on your own so you can become more comfortable using it before adding another person to the mix, is also a good idea.
And obviously, lube. Very important.
If you feel comfortable doing so try and insert some with a finger before inserting the lubed up plug.
Plug material choice is important too. Id recommend Sticking with silicone for a first plug. Metal and glass are lovely but more intense (my first plug was glass, its not a gentle way to start).
3.5”circumference is a good starting size, but you can go smaller.
Make sure to pick something anal safe, with a wide base
Thank you for these recommendations. I am mostly looking for the vibrating variety. My OH said he throughly enjoyed the vibrating feature due to the fact that it basically turned me into a human vibrator for him during intercourse. I have a couple of the ones you recommended in my LH cart at the moment but will look into the b-vibe option also.
It goes into my wife very easily and stays in and feels great when we have Penis in vagina sex.
We also have a slightly larger silicone jiggle LG butt plug which is great too. It’s a bit for flexible and bendy so when it’s in her ass I can’t feel it as much which isn’t a bad thing and she’s right anyways and the metal one makes her feel incredibly tight / reduces my stamina.
In the winter time the metal one was a no go. Too cold, too cold she said I did run it under a warm tap then got the right temperature and used it but was a bit more time.
So we’re going to use the metal one in the summer when it’s hot and warm and might help cool her down then the warmer more natural feeling silicone one in the colder months. Enjoy.
@Fantasy69 = once it’s in there she enjoys. In theory should use butt plugs a bit more on drinking relaxing nights as she is a bit up tight about them and finds the whole process of lubing up and working in a bit clinical.
But once in feels like double penetration for her. Tighter and pretty powerful orgasms by all accounts from her.
I’ve not had much luck in finding toys that stay in when really excited, Even this one didn’t stay put. Plenty of lube is always the way to go and the only thing I found that has no choice but to stay in is This one .
Like yourselves we are fairly new to anal toys and like you we found that a few butt plugs we tried had a tended to pop out easily , but hen we tried the metal jewelled type (as others have said( and found they stay in easily, sometimes for a couple of hours
I really enjoy wearing panties and lingerie, been doing it for years, I had a wonderful wife who accepted me and included me in my panty addiction. She is the one who decided to have me wear panties and lingerie while she pegged me! I fell in love with the feeling of the soft and sexy lingerie against my body while getting my ass filled. I unfortunately lost my wife to Covid. I then got a great girlfriend that was very into my panties and lingerie wearing, and she actually got very into pegging me also. After much discussion and playing, she convinced me that she was accepting of my kinks that she helped me come to realize that I am very curious about experimenting with some other sides of myself. So I guess I’m Bi-curious? I’ve never done it, but I kinda want to try.
We started with a lubed finger and then we got a anal training starter kit, and then we got a dildo made for anal, then a strap on, and now I have several plugs, dildos, and strap on harnesses. Lots of good lube, Slow and steady wins the race.
I did run it under a warm tap then got the right temperature and used it but was a bit more time.