So I’ve been seeing someone for a short while (almost a month) and things are going really well. we have had sex a few times already and the chemistry is amazing. We have also chatted briefly about what we like in bed etc. After the first time we had sex they expressed they felt they’d not been able to ‘satisfy me’ as I hadn’t had an orgasm so I explained to them that I am unable to orgasm through penetration alone and was then asked in what ways can I orgasm? I said my preferred way is from receiving oral sex as I really like it and said that I don’t expect to have that every time we have sex as I’m not always in the mood for oral and sometimes just want sex itself, saying I do still enjoy it but without the end result. They did not really say alot in response to this to be honest but seemed like they took it on board. Since said conversation I have briefly given them oral sex but at no stage or time since said conversation have they made any attempt to return the favour or initiate oral sex for me. It’s not about having to return the favour but I’m not going to lie I’m a bit disappointed and I really struggle with the confidence to ask for what I want in bed and have told them this too. I don’t really know their opinion on giving oral sex so I’m assuming they either don’t like it or aren’t bothered. I know they love receiving it. They have tried other ways to help me along but with no success as fingers etc but this has never done a lot for me either. I know it’s still early days yet but it’s starting to get to me- not the fact that they aren’t giving me oral but the question being ‘why?’ especially seeing as it’s something we’ve talked about recently. They have told me that they can be shy in the bedroom but I feel that’s not the issue here
Try subtle hints like shaving an arrow pointing down in you pubes then write “Lick Here!” Above it.
You may need to find a close friend to do the writing for you.
Who are “they”? Are there more than one people involved as your partners? If more than one, do they both dislike it? Are they both men or is “they” just “he” or a “she”? I can’t tell from your profile but from your username I gather you are female.
Giving oral is definitely one of my favorite things to do. I know Mrs. Val always “tastes” sweeter right after her period is over. Perhaps using a flavored lube they choose might entice them and the combo of the 2 “sweet” flavors may want them to be more interested.
I think it comes down to communication and letting them know what you want and need.
If your having difficulty saying it out loud maybe put it in a text message. Tell them you enjoyed giving them oral and would like to recieve it. Youve nothing to lose and something to gain by doing this, the longer you leave it the less likely it will be resolved.
Just a thought, did they say to you if they had much experience giving oral? Wondering if they are maybe lacking confidence after you said it was a way you Orgasm best? Maybe another conversation might needed to ask further questions/ to give reassurance, help or guidance?
Good on you for having that conversation about what you like and what is expected in bed - so many don’t do this so you’ve already built some great foundations 
I actually am in the same boat. I think it’s important to remember that what seems like quite a common act just isn’t a green light for some people and that’s okay.
My OH and I talk through pretty much everything, and nothing is off limits.
We’ve had numerous conversations about it after I noticed it wasn’t gonna happen, and I have to say it has taken a while for him to start actually recognising his trauma and accepting it for what it is. I think even he didn’t see it that way and had compartmentalised it to be just something not for him and not really knowing why.
Yet, somewhat paradoxically, he’s never said he won’t do it and has always said it’s definitely on the yes list. He’s swiped yes on many oral acts on our shared “sex act list” app, jokes about it often so I can tell it’s on his mind. But don’t get me wrong, he used to be super quiet about it before we started unpacking it, at one point I just accepted it was a hard limit until he brought it up.
As you can imagine it’s been quite confusing for me.
The most recent conversation and I’m sure not the last was him really starting to recognise that it is trauma he’s working with and while it can be frustrating for me, he has told me it’s a barrier he really wants to get through but he’s finding it difficult and just needs time and wants to conquer it.
I don’t have to understand the details, but I do know he’s worth it and I love him enough that if he can’t break through the barrier I would be okay with it. We have tons of other stuff we do which makes our sex life satisfying and fulfilling so although it would be nice to have, I would never want it at his expense.
I’ve tried to ask what I can do to help and generally there’s nothing I can do, except remember that his trauma stemmed from non-consent/ pressure so me demanding or expecting or pushing will only trigger him.
We’ve established open conversations are good so I just check in now and again and he’s usually further along with his process, he’s come a long way already.
All this to say you just don’t know what’s been buried in those mysterious male minds. They might not even know it until you point it out. Honestly when he opened up to me about what happened and I was like dude that’s legit trauma, it was like pieces of a puzzle he didn’t even know needed to connect just connected in his eyes in that moment.
If it wasn’t for the fact he’s very clearly wanting to work through it then I would have accepted it and left it alone. No act should be forced and hard limits should be respected.
If the act is a dealbreaker for you then it’s probably worth having another conversation and being gentle but clear.
Obviously, this is just my experience and may not be applicable but I hope it helps to give some perspective somehow.
My boyfriend loves receiving oral but for a long time (about a year) he’s not initiated doing it to me very often. I orgasm in other ways so it’s not been a problem per se but I miss it. One time he asked if I thought he licked me out too seldom and I replied yes and he got quite offended 
This got to me quite a lot as well because I felt like I give something he’s not reciprocating. Like doesn’t he enjoy my pussy? Do I smell? Etc.
Then I thought maybe he just doesn’t get it. So I decided to just… take what I want; even though it’s scary at first. Now if I want oral I do what a man does, and just push his head down there, or I sit on his face. Or on his chest and just present my pussy like he’d present his dick. This seems to work sometimes bluntness is best, and in bed you don’t even have to explain with words sometimes if this feels scary. Body language works too!
I know this is a short response… have you asked them ?
Easily solved
That’s very frustrating, literally. I’ve been with quite a few men who love receiving but not giving. My new bf is a pleasant surprise and went down on me the minute he took my clothes off! He has done so every time so far, I could get used to this. I think you’ve got to be brave and ask, if he’s not taking hints or willing to do it. If he refuses I wouldn’t be sucking him either!
Honestly I really like oral giving n receiving. For me it’s really plesiosaurs and I can actually taste my partner that’s what I always imagine is for other half when I can see it’s a joy with passion… not just expectation act for my enjoyment ( with is not when feels like )
I also like to share nice kiss after that so a little sharing;)
Yeah, he did it all the time in the beginning and then just stopped. But now we’re getting back into it cause I just put my pussy on his face
Before I started doing that I did pretend I didn’t get what he wanted if he put his dick to my mouth and just used my hands
Just a thought from experience. When I was new to sex I had a girlfriend that wanted oral sex. I knew she wanted it, however I had no experience with giving oral sex at the time, and I was really worried about doing something wrong or disappointing my partner and looking like a fool (although ironically it disappointed her more by not trying).
I kind of just waited until she brought it up (not a good move) and then we talked through it and I realized that she expected there to be a bit of a learning curve, and if I didn’t do it right the first time we could always try again and she wouldn’t think any different of me.
I don’t know you or your partner, so I can’t say that that is the situation, however there may be some emotional/knowledge lacking baggage going on on his end that you might not know about. Talk with him.
Tell him straight - i suck you - you lick me… its fair
otherwise sit on his face
Good for you girl.!!
Id ask if your partner enjoys getting sucked off.?
If they say yes they do, tell them you also enjoy a good clit licking… so get with the program.!!
I love giving oral . Only issue is my wife feels sitting on my face is a bit base…i reassure het that it is perfectly fine.
She does enjoy a 69 though, but its usually with me on top. I find it easier with her on top , as it gives easier tongue access.
I could spend all night there…the taste, the scent, the flowing juices.
You’ve mentioned you really enjoy receiving it, so you’ve cleared that hurdle. I would say it’s okay to bring it up again or if they’re shy, try giving them some hints during foreplay like nudging their head a little. Maybe touch yourself and then his lips? As long as he’s not like straight up opposed, that should give him a reminder lol.
As a man, I’d give oral sex every time i have sex if i could. But some men can’t stomach it at all. Personally i think it’s the best way to get warmed up for the main event. I’d happily just give oral as a treat without anything in return. It’s my wife that’s not keen on receiving sadly
Someone suggested touching yourself and offering your fingers to taste…try that…when my partner touches me when he’s kiss teasing me, he’ll slick his fingers over my lips and then I know I’m getting kissed 
The obvious solution is to talk about it, you’ve told them that you orgasm through oral. Its probably best not to have that chat during sex as they may feel forced to do it. But it’s a conversation you need to have asap. Text them if its easier.
@Amanda87 thats funny getting all pissy as they didn’t like your answer don’t ask questions if only 1 answer is acceptable lol
@valbowski77 they/them pronouns are used by people who are non binary or if someone just doesn’t want to disclose a persons gender.
We don’t know the gender of either party but we don’t need to as it’s irrelevant 
I do think its really important to be able to talk to the person that you’re having sex with. So many things could go wrong if you’re not fully open to the discussion. Sex is better for everyone when we ask for what we want.
Mr B and I have spoken about this before and both admitted that in some relationships we have performed/received oral because it was expected but not always enjoyed it because of tatse, smell hair, how the other person did it etc. The one thing that we both have in common now is that we both love the taste and smell of each other and the way we touch. I think we both prefer giving and enjoying how much the receiver responds to it.
We are lucky to have found each other but I have kissed and sucked a lot of frogs 